For Don M.

I saw this over at Madpriest's blog. I cannot steal it so I am sending you there to see this heartwarming story of the Rottweiler who would not give up after being separated from her family. It should make you cry. Go look.

Wordzzle

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This week's 10 words are: fair warning, hormones, journalism, philanthropist, burgeoning, running the bulls, saturation, tossed in the towel, whine, indelicate details
And for the mini: hard labor, lurid, quick fix, sizable contributions, trumpet


I will spare you the indelicate details, said Phrog, but I long ago gave up on any relationship with Saaarah Salamander. All she seems to be able to do is whine and complain so I tossed in the towel when I had reached the saturation point. I felt like I was constantly running the bulls to be around here. I had been first a burgeoning philanthropist then a journalism major until her hormones kicked in. I give you fair warning. She is a nut case. I would rather do hard labor in a lurid prison camp than to be around her. There is no quick fix to her problems. I have made sizable contributions to the Society so that we can hide out in the underground city. Please don't trumpet our whereabouts to anyone. We don't want her to find us. I am more worried about her than the Dragons, they are relatively benign compared to her."

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: reluctant, sacrilege, territory, humiliating, master of ceremonies, gesture, dirty deed, crumbling, thaw, token

For the mini challenge: official portrait, personal bank account, shoulder bone, unbearable, widow

Found for Friday

Only great minds can read this

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too


Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of
100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to
a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't
mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I
awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you
can raed tihs forwrad it

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares one year ago in:
1) Delta Airlines, you will have $49.00 today.
2) AIG, you will have $33.00 today.
3) Lehman Brothers, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on that, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Makes you proud to be an American!

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

...complaints from letters written to UK County Councils ...


1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

5. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it had backfired and burnt my knob off.

6. And their 18 yr old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job to satisfy my wife.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.



11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.


16. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6 a.m. His cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.

18. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

19. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.


21. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still have no satisfaction.

23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.__
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.__
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.___
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

Is this statutory rape (or a moosedimenor)?

Click to enlarge.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week-end. Hugs, H-bird

RANT

Last night Kurt and I went past an accident in Des Moines. The SUV was lying on its side like this one. We circled back but there were already a lot of people there to help and someone had called 911. But we got to talking about how quickly there could be an accident.

I remember when we were driving back from vacation in Minnesota. My mother, sister, cousin Chris and I were driving through St. Cloud. I think we had the dog and cat with us. I was on the inside lane and had a green light. There was a car waiting to turn left. I thought he would wait until I was through the intersection but he may have been distracted by his passenger (a nun) and he pulled right in front of me. I slammed on the brakes and slid into the passenger's door. It was his fault and his insurance paid for it. We were stuck in St. Cloud so the resort owner's son came down and gave us a lift home. My poor little car stayed in St. Cloud to be fixed. My cousin loaned me a car and about a month later I took the bus to Minnesota to pick it up. It was never the same.

But it was a reminder of how quickly accidents can happen. So the other day when a woman turned left across several lanes talking on a cell phone it made me want to lobby for a no cell phones when driving. It really frosts me when people cannot turn from their lane into the corresponding lane but must cut across every lane on the road and almost clip me. (This doesn't even mention those who text while driving. I read today that truckers who text while driving are involved in 23% more accidents.

We used to have an Assistant Superintendent who lived in Des Moines and she used to read professional journals while driving back and forth to work. I tried it once and I think it is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard of.
AND today I was driving across 9th Street on my way back from the grocery store and one of these big honkers pulled up to the street from the North and barely paused at the stop sign. She (I am not sure it was this person driving but it was a woman with long hair) pulled out and turned West on the street (I was driving East) and the front of her bus pulled into my lane. In the first place she barely paused at the stop sign. In the second place she saw me coming and knew I was in my lane but it did not matter to her. I had to swerve to avoid being hit. I honked.

You know I have always driven defensively. I have told my sister and my nephew and countless others that I consider other vehicles on the road a gun pointed right at me. My sister rolled her truck and was thrown from it and wound up in a wheel chair. I know what can happen and so I am bitching. I want a law that says you must use a bluetooth if you are going to use a cell phone when driving (and even that is probably not something we should do) and that if you don't come to a complete stop and you cause an accident fines are doubled. Or something. I would like to see people who cut across lanes ticketed and people who are walking or riding bicycles on sidewalks and who ignore stop signs and lights ticketed. But it ain't gonna happen. I think that they should perhaps have to take a remedial reading course... I mean the words DON'T WALK are pretty easy to read but when you are out on campus you see a lot of kids that totally ignore those two words.

Well anyway I know it won't change. I just felt like grousing about it. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs (for everyone who drives safely) j

Scottish Rite -

When I went to pick up Kurt fot the Membership Appreciation dinner he and the family were shooting arrows. So I took some pictures. That is Robin Hood above.

The Princess was happily watching. She played T-ball.

Maid Marian was the best shot in this tourney.

The Prince judged and used his eagle eye to find the arrows Robin shot that landed in the grass.
The Dinner was a nice event. Pictures below.

Why can't this man be Iowa's Senator.

I am so disappointed in Senator Grassley. Senator (Finally) Franken says it very well. I believe Minnesota has a fine Senator and I thank Raven for pointing this out.

Many paths

I took a test this morning over at Belief-o-matic. It purports to tell you what church (faith community) you should belong to. I am not currently attending a church. I think that is another story for another time and I may never tell it on this blog. But nevertheless here are my results. And some comments.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
I attended this church when my friends got married. I went to the service prior to their wedding. It was OK but it really did not reach out and "touch" me. I know I probably think like them but the service just did not make me want to come back.
2. New Thought (94%)
3. Liberal Quakers (89%)
I would really like to know more about the Quakers.
4. New Age (87%)
5. Scientology (86%)
6. Neo-Pagan (85%)
I have friends who are pagans. I know a little about it and support them in their beliefs.
7. Mahayana Buddhism (81%)
8. Reform Judaism (79%)
I love the Jewish Religion but it would have to be reform for me as I love my bacon too much
9. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (76%)
I was a member of this Church for about 30 years. I still do the blog for the local church and frankly it is the only church I would even consider attending regularly. It spoiled me for other churches. I loved the study and probing and understanding of God (as Spirit, Life, Truth, Love, Soul, Divine Principle, and Mind) that I got from there,
10. Hinduism (76%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (74%)
And I used to be a Methodist.
12. Taoism (70%)
13. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
14. Secular Humanism (60%)
15. Jainism (60%)
16. Sikhism (60%)
17. Baha'i Faith (57%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (40%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (37%)
20. Islam (33%)
21. Nontheist (27%)
22. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (17%)
Absolutely no way
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (17%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (12%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (11%)
Again no way.
Now as to the last two. I love their ritualistic ceremonies and the pageantry and richness of the service but no way could I belong to churches that are as "controlling" of their members.
26. Eastern Orthodox (9%)
27. Roman Catholic (9%)

Take the test here.

Just checking in

I have been reading The Fire by Katherine Neville. I found it a hard book to read but I finished it. And I enjoyed it. But it really has slowed me down as far as blogging is concerned. I went to Des Moines last evening and had dinner with Kurt. Then we were going to a Masonic Funeral but the parking lot was very full so I dropped Kurt at the door and drove about a block away so he could go (the Brother who passed had been on his Investigating Committee) - Then we met Severn and had a nice visit with him. I took this picture of the back of a Semi. I thought it was kind of neat. It was for Chips A'hoy and said something about empty shelves.

Anyway I really am just checking in to let you know I am still on the planet. I found this over at Bark Bark Woof Woof. I call it the Palin Poem. Kind of neat.



Thanks for stopping by. I am waiting for my Reuben Pizza on Sweet Potato Crust from Black Market Pizza. Hugs, j

Poem

I wrote this in 2005. I was having a conversation with Jon just now and was reminded of it so you get it for today. Nothing much is happening, with the exception of two Jehovah's Wittless (intended) coming by to try to convert me. I swear I am going to put up a sign. NO RELIGIOUS SOLICITATION. Anyway here is the poem

People
Most people sing just one song
give just one speech,
have just one conversation –
usually with themselves.

Most people dance
just one dance,
walk just one walk
Go to just one place - many times.

Most Rock Stars give the same concert
over and over.
Most comedians tell the same joke -
although sometimes with different punch lines.

Most Authors who write just one book
can do it many times.

Most politicians have just one idea –
usually some else’s.
If you change your audience no one knows you are boring!

Some people however
Sing several songs,
Dance many dances,
Walk in different worlds.

Some people have endless conversations with many people.

Some people never listen
but others always do.

Some people stand out and stand up.

They are original, diverse, endlessly fascinating shining stars.

Hitler Finds Out Sarah Palin has Resigned

Sunday Wisdom

From One Mountain, Many Paths
An American Freemason Speaks Out for Peace

by Dr. Patrick Swift
Click book or here to go to the page and buy it for yourself,

Be fearless and pure; never waiver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life, Give freely. Be self controlled, sincere, truthful, loving and full of desire to serve. Realize the truth of the scriptures. learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. do not get angry or harm any living creature but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all.

Bhagavad Gita 16: 1-3

Hinduism

What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.

The Analects of Confucius 15
Confucianism

What is hateful to you do not to your neighbour: that is the whole of the Torah, while the rest is the commentary thereof; go and learn it.

The Babylonian Talmud Shabbat
Judaism

In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.

Matthew 7:12
Christianity

The "golden rule" in Christianity may be found in other beliefs also. I think the thing that strikes me about it is the positive way it is expressed. Do unto others, If you would be treated with respect you must respect others. If you would be treated kindly you must be kind. It may not always return to you as you would wish but it is certainly a way to live your life.

If you would be loved you must love.

Have a great week and remember to Love.

I Am a Liberal

I wrote this in 2004. I meant it then and I mean it now. I recently had a conversation with someone I like very much. But he is a conservative. I was thinking that perhaps I was a conservative or at least more conservative than I used to be. However I went over to my poetry blog and found this and read it again and I still think that most of it still fits what I think.

If being a liberal means that:
you love liberty and freedom
instead of “Patriot Acts” and trampled rights.

you care for people
instead of corporations

you support education, teachers and free public schools
instead of religious indoctrination and acts that
leave many children behind

you care for children and their well-being
instead of corporate CEO’s and their fancy lifestyle.

Fine, then call me a liberal!

If being a liberal means that:

you believe in religious freedom
instead of “everybody think alike” doctrines

you believe women are equal and should be treated (and paid) as such
instead of being “subordinate” barefoot and pregnant

you believe in supporting our troops
instead of the lies that put them in harm’s way

Fine, then I’ll take the name liberal and be proud of it!

If being a liberal means that:


you don’t believe that oil should be purchased with blood
or that greedy corporations should get rich from war

you want to preserve and defend our environment
instead of raping the land so nothing will remain for our future.

And
you believe that some forests should be saved for the animals that inhabit them
instead of destroyed for big business profit.


you believe in clean air
instead of pollution and acid rain from factory smokestacks


Then, I’ll be a liberal!

If being a liberal means that:

you believe in families no matter of whom they are composed
instead of divisive (so called) defense of marriage legislation.

you know that some folks are different from others

not through choice but because they were made that way

you know that God made Adam and Eve
as well as Adam and Steve and Ellen and Eve

And

you believe that everyone has a right to live a life free from harassment and hate
instead of living with humiliation and fear

If being a liberal means all that- then I am a liberal, an American liberal, and proud of it!

Jay Cole Simser
July 7, 2004

84 year old Mason on RAGBRAI

Ken Smith, Arcadia Lodge Past Master is on RAGBRAI and here is a link to an article in the Des Moines Register about this amazing Brother.

Wordzzle

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge: riverboat, procrastination, drank, demons, invisible, candle, enough, film stars, summer job, computer


For the mini: general demeanor, invisible, masked man, reach, standards
Photo by Kenju
Phrog was very upset. His general demeanor was very agitated. He had thought that he was pretty much invisible but a masked man had just dropped off a package for him which contained a photograph. It had obviously been taken from a high vantage point and it was of him. It did not reach his usual standards for a photograph of himself but he was recognizable.

It looked to be taken just after he had exited the riverboat and he wondered who on earth could have taken it. On the other hand it was taken from such a high spot that perhaps it had not been taken on earth. Perhaps the dragons....

He knew that he was a victim of procrastination but he could not bring himself to contact the Mighty Chief Dragon as he was worried that the rumors he had heard were true and that they were still after him and all the members of the Order of the Salamanders. He had drank too much last night and the demons were upon him again. He would have to summon the invisible council to aid him in his thinking.

He lit the summoning candle and it gave just enough light that he could read the message printed on the back of the picture. It said. "Phrog, it is I, the invincible Sarrarah and I have had enough. I have been out here in California cavorting with film stars and that ilk. I am no longer going to spy on the dragons for you. I look on what I have been doing as a poor substitute for a summer job and am going to see what I can find on the computer under Craigslist to see if there is something better for me to do. In the meantime I am on my way back to headquarters and nothing you can do will change my mind. Sincerely. Sarrarah Salamander.
Phrog blew out the candle and sounded the alarm. They must move to the secret headquarters before Sarrarah returned and blew their cover.

Next week's 10 words are: fair warning, hormones, journalism, philanthropist, burgeoning, running the bulls, saturation, tossed in the towel, whine, indelicate details

And for the mini: hard labor, lurid, quick fix, sizable contributions, trumpet

Embracing Imperfection (A Must Read)

This just came in an e-mail. I need to share it.

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got Up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket but into your own."

Found For Friday

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new healthcare package.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"
The Pediatricians said, 'Oh, grow up!'
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness.
The Radiologists could see right through it.
The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, but the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington


Priest Retirement

A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed debating the "bail-out packages," so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his best friend's
wife, and taken illicit drugs. I was appalled.

"But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and said: "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

Moral: Never, never, NEVER-EVER be late.


MY LIVING WILL


Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.....

Vet school-

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with
white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:

The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body". For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes.

But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation.

I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to
pay attention.

Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid

Red Neck Barbecue Grill. With warming shelf. Free at HyVee

BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put in to motion:

Routine . . .
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three-yard exclusion zone where the exuberance and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine . . .
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine . . .
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off," and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

This is dedicated to all of you who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, s**t, so that's why no one was at church today."

Mike was attending his 4X4 club's monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the camping trip scheduled for the next day because his wife wouldn't let him go.

After listening to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow 4X4 friends, Mike left to go back home to his wife.

When Mike's friends started arriving to set up camp the next day, who should be there but Mike sitting up in front of his truck, tent up, fishing rod in hand, camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.

"How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Mike?"

"I didn't have to" was Mike's reply. "When I left the meeting I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'!"

When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and she said, "Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want."

So here I am!

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at
school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: a Bible, - a silver dollar, - a bottle of whisky and - a Playboy magazine. I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a
businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum." The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold "Lord have mercy," the old
preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna run for Congress!

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?
Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, _'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom
DONT FORGET ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY!
Don't forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, & to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, & to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American gov't appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists & applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -The last one is great!_Have you ever spoken and wished that you could_Immediately take the words back...Or that you could crawl into a hole?_Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

And asked loudly,_'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... He knew better

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,_My sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, My toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, So of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, And he said 'No' I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, ' Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'_'No,' he replied._I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse._Soooooo, I asked one more time, ' Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeksa nd yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set,but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard.




Found this- It is a modern Wedding March.

Enjoy your week-end.

Master Mason Degree

It takes a goodly number of Brothers to fill all of the parts for a Master Mason Degree. The Degree consists of three parts and the first part is very much like the other two degrees that precede it. The second section of the Third Degree takes about 18 men and it is essentially a play which is put on with the candidate as the main character. The picture above is Right Worshipful Brother Bill Yungclas who took the part of the Master. I took the picture because I was very impressed with his sartorial splendor. He must have visited the haberdasher to find that hat.

The degree teaches many valuable lessons and each time I see it I see something else that seems new or different. It may be just a little different "twist" that one of the players puts on the dialogue that opens up a different meaning or just that I was listening differently.

Tonight the Brotherhood was out in force to welcome Brother Alan as he received his Master Mason Degree. He will be a real asset to Arcadia Lodge.
We also had Brothers from Nevada and Sioux City, The Brother from Sioux City is attending Iowa State University as a graduate student. He and I have a lot of friends in common. I hope he will be able to be with us a lot. In order for him to visit us we had to examine him because no one from here had ever sat in Lodge with him. From now on he will not have to be examined as we all now have sat in open lodge with him.

Masonry is a great fraternity. We are not just a "Social Fraternity" as the college fraternities are but rather a place to exemplify the Brotherhood of Man under the Fatherhood of God and work to improve ourselves in our relations with each other and all mankind. It was a great evening. Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL. Hugs, j

A Story from the Elephant Sanctuary

Elephants reunited.

Old Jews Telling Jokes

Website here

Las Vegas Churches

TRULY DID NOT KNOW THIS!

Las Vegas churches
Accept gambling
Chips

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.


YOU
DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?

GOTCHA!

h/t Theresa.

Just A Reminder

Six months ago.

I have things I could write about but I didn't do much today. Bailey got groomed and I went to the grocery store for the first time this month. And I went to the foot doctor. My toe is still bleeding. I don't think it is ever going to stop. He said it looks good. Thanks for stopping by and be grateful we aren't dealing with the white shit. Hugs, j

Jon's Garden and Bailey Plays Soccer

Jon took some pictures of the prairie garden he planted. We aren't sure what the flowers are so if you know you can identify them in the comments.

He says that the camera washes out the color and these were deeper colors than show in the picture.

Brown-eyed Susan. There are a lot of these.

He took Cassie out to the garden to wander around. There was a rabbit that was about two feet from them. Max would have been right after it but Cassie ignored it.

This is the only Morning Glory that survived the %&$&Y rabbits. They ate the others.

This is on the north end of the west side of the house, I really like this picture.

And this is the garden. I had a wren in the bird house earlier. It was fun to watch them flit in and out and they were very noisy about it. And now for a real treat. Below are some movies I made of Bailey playing with his ball. He loves to play with the soccer ball. He always has to have something in his mouth. He will do the same thing with a small ball. He never picks up the ball in his mouth but pushes it with his feet. You also get a chance to see the living room with the new carpet and the furniture back in place. the carpet is not really plush but when you live with animals it is much better this way. Jon and Bailey like to play soccer and you can see Cassie and Max on the sofa watching the festivities. Click on the arrows to play the videos.


By the way, I went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It is the darkest of the Potter movies but I enjoyed it tremensously. I am sorry that the series is over but the kids have grown up and they are ready to move on to other things. I recommend seeing it if you are a fan. j

Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL, Hugs, j

A laugh for Monday

This was posted at Firedoglake. It s NSFW but it made me laugh out loud several times. How these folks put together a show each week is amazing. Enjoy

Ames Photowalk a BIG success!

A total of thirty-eight (38) excited, creative, and fun photographers gathered in front of the bandshell at Band Shell Park on Saturday morning at 9 AM, and spent the next 2 1/2 hours going up streets and an alley in historic old town of Ames, taking more than 5000 photos of exciting photo subjects! Our group was one of nearly 1000 other Photowalks taking place all over the USA and major cities in the rest of the world, involving a total of over 30,000 people. Just imagine, all of us were doing the same things for the same reasons on the same day! It was a world united kind of feeling to be a part of the group, when thinking with a larger perspective. At the same time it was easy to enjoy the calm, unhurried pace of being with people you enjoy, taking photos, and SEEING things that you had never seen before, even though all of us had driven past them hundreds of times.

Each Photowalk participant can choose one photo to enter into the Worldwide Photowalk web server for judging. There will be one winner from the Ames walk, who will compete with the other 1000 winners for the grand prize for the entire world effort. That winner will get prizes of all sorts with a value of over $11,000. Eventually one will be able to go to the Worldwide Photowalk web site, and select cities from across the world and see the images submitted by the photographers who walked there.

I have created a Flikr site for our Ames participants, and with this web server site, they can each upload ten images. It has a few on it right now, and to see it you must join the Flickr website (FREE) if you have not already, and then proceed. If you have an account at yahoo.com, that user ID for your login there, plus your password will also work on Flikr. Members of our walk are going through their photos now and will continue to do so this week, but within a few days things should be all ready to go. I have attached a few photos here of our group before we began our Photowalk, as well as some of my personal images I captured on this special day. The next time we do this...YOU, should join us! Everyone in our group would tell you the same thing!

Waveland Park Breakfast

Waveland Park Lodge holds a breakfast every month for the benefit of their scholarship fund and also to help kids at Parkland Academy with supplies and warm coats as well as mittens, etc. Not only is it a worthwhile cause you can get a great breakfast for $6. and they are helping kids at the same time. I had sausage, an omlette with ham, onion, cheese and something else in it as well as biscuits and gravy. I could also have had patty sausage, potatoes, french toast and pancakes and they would let me have seconds. The OJ was wonderful and the coffee was good.

I met some new folks and ran into some I already knew. I had a great time.

Then I went to the car wash. Got rid of the bugs from yesterday's road trip.

On the way home I got to pass one of those wind farm (I suppose they are windmills) thingies which were referenced in last nights posting. I snapped a picture as I passed. I suppose drive-by shootings are legal if you do it with a camera. Now I have to put up the shelf I got at the World Market. And the weather is wonderful. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs. j

Sunday Wisdom

From One Mountain, Many Paths
An American Freemason Speaks Out for Peace

by Dr. Patrick Swift
Click book or here to go to the page and buy it for yourself,

Confucius said, " There are many different roads in the world, but the destination is the same. There are a hundred different deliberations but the result is one."

I Ching, Appended Remarks 2:5 Adapted
Confucianism

One Universal Creator God, The Name is Truth, Creative Being Personified. No Fear. No Hatred. Image Of the Undying. Beyond Birth, Self-Existent.

Shri Guru Granth Sahib 1:1.1
Sikhism

I have always loved the saying, "There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same."

When Moses met God in the burning bush he asked, "Whom shall I say has sent me?" The answer was I AM. God did not identify himself with a name. He just said I AM. Being conscious of itself. He did not say my name is Tom, Dick, or Harry. He just IS. That being said he could have said "I am Me." or "I am what I am, I am my own creation."

Mankind has always needed the Self-Existent and the comfort of a loving parent, beyond fear and death. All have searched for that Truth and some, when they think they have found it, proceed to tell it to others and some of them try to bend everyone to their way of thinking. My personal preference is to acknowledge God as being and Jesus as the one who came from him to show us how to live and to treat each other. I also feel that He has sent others to show us that same Love and that we still need to learn to listen.

Someday we will, perhaps, get beyond creeds and the divisions they cause and all be able to reach the summit of the mountain and know God as a loving parent for all.

Trip to Sioux City

Before I could leave town today I needed to go to the bank to make a deposit. (Usually it is the other way around. I noticed a whole bunch of people with cameras walking around the street.
Saw this one dude with a straw hat on and remembered that today was the day for the photo walk and there was our resident photographer. Bob Kelly was leading the group.
So I took a close up and here is the man in white. I told him that this was a "drive by shooting" - I will be anxious to see some of the pictures that he and his group took.

Rick was across the street about a half a block away

And these folks were about a block away looking a little lost. But I must get on the road.

As I drove I took some pictures, These wind generators were "other worldly" There was an entire farm of them up near Rockwell City. I love seeing them. We have a farm near Ames also.
You can see for miles as you drive along Highway 20 on the way to Sioux City. I love the vista and the Loess Hills. Someday I am going to go over there and just drive around and try to take pictures. I really would do better if I had a camera like Bob's - But mine does a pretty good job.
I belong to the Sioux City Lewis and Clark York Rite College as well as the Iowa York Rite College and since I have never made it up to a meeting I wanted to go today. I was very pleased with the quality of the work. The Officers did outstanding work and it was memorized and given with decorum and dignity. I am very glad I went up. Here are the pictures from the event. They met in the Morningside Masonic Temple and I had difficulty finding it but all was well in the end.


And I made it home before dark. It is hard to see but these clouds are pink. I was headed straight south on Highway 35. The sky was orange to my right, pink ahead of me and blue and gray to the left. It was a little like driving in a rainbow. I made good time on both the way up and down. I got 19.3 MPG (Not bad for a ten year old Jeep) and the traffic was light. Thanks for stopping by Hugs, j

Quote for Today

"We are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring."

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wordzzle

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge: corn pone, delegation, nectarines, happiness, 12 going on 13, prancing horses, magenta, butterflies, fragmentary, arthritis

For the mini challenge: lavender cowboy, over the moon, preparation, zebra, area rug

Order of the Salamanders Newsletter

Greetings fellow Salems, Peace be unto you all.

It is my great pleasure to great you from the Throne of Power. I want to thank all of you for electing me to be your leader. I will do my best to live up to the confidence which the delegation expressed by electing me. My happiness knows no bounds.

I want to share some plans I have for the coming year. First of all we will again be selling delicious nectarines to support our charitable endeavours. Our charity this year is the arthritis foundation and so that it will not be a fragmentary effort we will concentrate on that only. We hope to raise a lot of money.

I have decided to make corn pone the official bread of the Order. The sales of the mix to make them will put our fund raising over the top. In preparation for our 12 going on 13 Ball for our young Salamanders.We though about asking the Dragons if they wanted to attend but they have been so disrespectful of our Order that those plans have been tossed over the moon.

We will also be selling chances on the beautiful hand hooked area rug made by Miss Sallye Salamander based on a pattern developed by Miss Saydie Salamander. It features a lavender cowboy riding a zebra surrounded by magenta butterflies and prancing horses.We thank the girls for their efforts.

Please plan to attend the weekly meetings. The officers would love to see you at the meetings.

Fraternally,

Phrog

Next week's 10 word challenge will be: riverboat, procrastinaton, drank, demons, invisible, candle, enough, film stars, summer job, computer

For the mini: general demeanor, invisible, masked man, reach, standards

Found for Friday

NEVER TICK OFF A NURSE
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, 'I have to take your temperature.' After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
'No, I'm sorry,' the nurse stated, 'but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer.' This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, 'I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!'

She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man's doctor came into the room.

'What's going on here?' asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answered, 'What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?'

After a pause, the doctor confessed.....
'Not with a carnation.'



A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

_As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.





After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."


_The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

_"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

_"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

_The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

_He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever...

_As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

_A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

_The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room...

_The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

_The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

_The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."


The guys were all at a ski lodge.

No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!"

He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn.. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said.

They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night...
Bob sat up and watched me all night."

Two bowling teams, one of all redheads and one of all blondes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend trip to Atlanta. The redhead team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the blonde team rode on the top level.
The redhead team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the redhead reached the top, she found all the blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The redhead asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!' One of the blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...
'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!!'


You are
driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you
pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as
if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once
saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you
have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a
ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma
that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could
pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should
save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved
your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.


................... The candidate who was
hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and
let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for
the bus with the partner of my dreams.'

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able
to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think
Outside of the Box.'

HOWEVER....

The correct answer actually is to run the
old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect
partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for
a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings

Jake Kaplan was a gambler. He bet on everything: the ponies, numbers, sports, anything he could get odds on. After a string of bad luck he was in hock to every bookie, relative and friend in town.
The only way out of his problem was to fake his own death.
Laid out in his casket, his friends, family and other acquaintances passed by to pay their respects. Last in line was Lefty Horwitz, the biggest, meanest bookie who was owed a very large sum by Jake.__As Lefty reaches the casket, he leans over, pulls out a knife, and says to the deceased, “No one gets away this clean. I am going to take this knife and give you what you had coming to you.”
Suddenly Jake opens his eyes, and putting his finger to his lips, he says, “Shush, you I’ll pay

Pants and Panties _ Mike was going to be married to Karen_so his Father sat him down for a little chat.__He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big. I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night, we have never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..'

She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine.'

Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'
!

Gentle Thoughts for Today

Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight..

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.'

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.


The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.


The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.


You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.


Subject: CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY


A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this:

When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint
Twins are coming" and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment
will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
"William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this
Accident." I just lost it."


"CASE DISMISSED!"

WHEN I'M 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE ... LET ME!

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "They won't let me fart."

Mr. Obama at the NAACP

The first thing we need to do is make real the words of your charter and eradicate prejudice, bigotry, and discrimination among citizens of the United States. I understand there may be a temptation among some to think that discrimination is no longer a problem in 2009. And I believe that overall, there’s probably never been less discrimination in America than there is today.

But make no mistake: the pain of discrimination is still felt in America. By African-American women paid less for doing the same work as colleagues of a different color and gender. By Latinos made to feel unwelcome in their own country. By Muslim Americans viewed with suspicion for simply kneeling down to pray. By our gay brothers and sisters, still taunted, still attacked, still denied their rights.

On the 45th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act, discrimination must not stand. Not on account of color or gender; how you worship or who you love. Prejudice has no place in the United States of America.

Nice words, Mr. President. Now lets see you make it happen. Words are nothing without action.

This makes me smile

As does this.


h/t Dependable Renegade

Mixed Bag

Wicked Hot-Bon-Bon
That is my nick-name generated by the Nick-name generator.

One of my friends comes out as
Loveheart Red Hot-Lush Lips
His wife is
Cuddle cakes Red Hot-Pooh Peepers

Personally I think it is just stupid but you might get a kick out of it.

This is a picture of the Princess with the t-shirt I brought her back from Oklahoma. It is a little big but the important thing is she likes it.



I got this meme from Anne - It seems like I could do it so if you want you can do it also.



1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:55
2. Diamonds or pearls
Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Easy Virtue
4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Mentalist
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
4 pills - breakfast, what is Breakfast?
6. What is your middle name?
Cole
7. What food do you dislike?
Sushi
8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
New one - Black Dyke Band - Brass from England
9. What kind of car do you drive?
99 Jeep Grand Cherokee
10. Favorite sandwich?
Patty Melt
11. What characteristic do you despise?
Lying
12. Favorite item of clothing?
My robe
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Paris
14 .. Favorite brand of clothing?
Enro
15. Where would you retire to?
Savannah, GA (But I am still in Ames)
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
60th - I became a Sexygenerian
17. Favorite sport to watch?
I don't watch sports
18. Furthest place you are sending this
my blog
19. Person you expect to send it back first?
I don't
20. When is your birthday?
November 13
21. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night
22. What is your shoe size?
I have no idea
23. Pets?
2 Dogs 1 Cat
25. What did you want to be when you were little?
I didn't think about it.
26. How are you today?
lethargic
27. What is your favorite type of candy?
Chocolate & mint

Eastern Star Home Update

The work continues on the Eastern Star Masonic Home at Boone. The new dining rooms in the health wing and the nurses stations are finished.

The residents were enjoying lunch as we went past.

The nurses told me they really liked the new Nurses stations.






This will be the lounge with a fireplace. It should all be finished by the middle of August.


















This is the interior area where there is a water garden and plants where the residents can enjoy the out of doors in a private secluded atmosphere. The Home is a beautiful place. One of the residents told me she had been there for 10 years and loved it. I am so glad I am able to give this service to our Home.

Palin Scrabble

Playing Palin Scrabble. Not a lot of fun. We just make stuff up, get challenged and quit.

Ok, I know...I should not have posted this. but I could not resist. Can't we just cast all news and commentary about this woman into the outer darkness and get on to discussing the Crimes of Cheney?

Something New

The boys are looking around the living room wondering where all the furniture went.

This is one of the main reasons I had to get new carpet. My little "buddy" has had a problem knowing where to go pee pee. I understand this is a difficulty with Yorkies. They are used to being in a kennel and will just "go" where they want, I have had the carpet cleaned several times but it just kept getting worse and worse. Anyway it was time.
All of the furniture had to be moved. This is my kitchen with everything in it. It is a good thing I don't have to do much cooking.
The new carpet was ordered and first the old carpet had to be removed. They did not like the smell. (I don't blame them)

You can see that the floor boards were stained.
The problem would be that the smell would draw him to do it in the future.

So I went up to Ace to get some KILZ. Bob said that would stop the smell.

Carpet is up and the vacuum is run.

The Kilz was sprayed. Smells better already

First the new pad is put down. It will also keep water from soaking through.

Then the carpet is put down.

Stretched and tacked

You can see that the color is different and the carpet is somewhat industrial and plain but it will not show the dirt like the other one and I like the color. Plain fare but nice.

The "boys" had been locked up in my bedroom all day and were glad when I was able to let them out to wait outside for awhile.

Then they came in and were curious as to what was happening. They are such nice friends.

Cassie came out of the office from where she was locked up all day and she had to check the new carpet out also. She also got really excited and ran around and around. It was fun to watch her.
And the old carpet awaits the garbage guys to come pick it up. It was so smelly that the carpet layer would not take it in his van and I can't say as I blame him. Bailey used to have the run of the house when I was gone. From now on he is going to be locked in either the bathroom or the bedroom Max was always locked up as if he wasn't he would find something (usually a pen) to chew to little pieces.

So now all that has to be done is to get the furniture moved back and put in place. My carpet has a lot of blue in it and my antique chairs have blue velvet and they should look nice with it. But I am in no hurry the TV and the arm chair are in place. I also went to Ankeny tonight to meet with some Lodge Brothers about our Lodge Stated Meeting tonight and eat supper. We had an excellent meeting and now I must do some work for that but I did want to share the carpet which has been laid. (There is something else I could say right now but it would be a flip remark and not polite.) Thanks for stopping by, Hugs, j

Addendum: A tidbit of information shared by Tom Dean (who has os many titles I cannot share them)

James Garner the actor was the first man from Oklahoma who was shot in the
Korean War. He was shot in the buttocks. Prior to the Korean War, Garner
was a carpet layer.

Now you know. Have a nice day!

My Back Yard - Jon's Prairie Garden

I have a mushroom
All sorts of things Jon planted which are now beginning to bloom

And I have a Ginko Tree

I love this place

Porch Sanctuary

Michael Jackson Song.

Michael Jackson was criticized for many things. Sometimes we should remember the good things he did. Ginny sent me this. With a link to this page.

And here is a list of his charitable accomplishments. Just thought you should know.

I am seriously considering closing the blog. I am running out of things to say and really am going through a major downer right now. Give each other a hug.

Sunday Wisdom

From One Mountain, Many Paths
An American Freemason Speaks Out for Peace

by Dr. Patrick Swift
Click book or here to go to the page and buy it for yourself,

May generosity triumph over stinginess, may love triumph over hatred, and may truth triumph over falsehood.

Yasna 60:5 Adapted
Zoroastrianism

The Great Being saith: O well-beloved ones! The tabernacle of unity hath been raised; regard ye not one another as strangers. Ye are the fruits of one tree, and leaves of one branch. We cherish the hope that the light of justice may shine upon the world and sanctify it from tyranny.

Gleanings from the writings of Bahá'u'lláh 112
Bahá'í

It seems to me that most of the world's religions talk about Loving your enemies. The chapter these quotes was taken from is entitled "Love Your Enemies" - That is a pretty tall order. Love your enemies, pray for them that despitefully use you. I find it much easier to love my friends. And I know that I have the philosophy to "go to the other pasture" if there is a conflict between me and thee. That isn't loving my enemies. That is just running away from them. Casting them to the "outer darkness" so to speak. I don't like conflict.

As I was thinking about this concept the thought popped into my mind that the way to get around this whole idea is not to "Love my enemies" but to have no enemies. Therefore if I have no enemies I can just love everyone. Even those who use and abuse me. Of course there are people who don't like me. To them I am beginning to say - "You know the world is a big place - go somewhere else and forget about me."

In the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry I once heard a story told about a conflict between two men. One of the men stopped fighting and asked the other. "What do you call God?" The answer was, "I call him Father." The first man responded, "So do I. If we both call him Father that makes us brothers and I won't fight with my brother." Of course, as my friend Kurt would tell you Brothers sometimes fight. But perhaps when they fight there is still Love present.

Have a blessed week.

A Perfect Adventure - Masonic Road Trip

Kurt and Craig and I took off this morning to go to the Amanas - the first place we stopped was the Brewery. That makes Kurt very happy. Beer to go in big jugs.

As always they have "stuff" to sell.

Craig and Kurt and I sat under the Hops vine covered lattice work and enjoyed our drinks. I had a very nice cream soda. The temperature and the company was just right.

As always I get to take the picture but I was dressed in the "uniform of the day" also.

We went to one of the many Amana Restaurants for lunch - the Brickhaus. Very nice.

No it is not our waitresses' picture on the bottle. She was cuter.

Some "Red Hat" Society ladies were having lunch there. I always like these ladies as they always seem to be having fun when they meet and I love their hats and purple dresses.

Kurt stole my camera and got a picture of Frank(right) and me (left (appropriate)) at dinner after the meeting. We are even more secret than the Order of the Salamanders. And we eat better, also.
And then on the way home we were treated to another beautiful Iowa Sunset as we rolled along Interstate 80 from Amana to Des Moines. Our Road Trip was a success.


Thanks for stopping by. Tomorrow I have to move all of the furniture from the living room as I am getting new carpet on Monday. I hope to hell I like it. Sleep well. Hugs, j

How to Install A Giant Pole - By Bob Kelly

Most everyone knows that if you want to put in a fence post, you dig a hole a bit larger than the post, and deep enough for it to be vertical and stable, you then lift it up and place it in the hole, tamping the soil around it, until it is firmly in place. Some of you have done that or seen others do so.

What if the post is 115 feet long, weighs 18,000 pounds, and has to be in the ground nearly 20 feet deep to be stable? Simple... you get a dozen pieces of heavy equipment, a giant crane, and using a large auger you drill a hole 4 1/2 feet in diameter and 19 feet deep. From time to time as you drill the hole you raise the auger to spin it to release the soil it is removing. When the hole is ready, you attach the giant post to the cable of an overhead crane, and lift it slowly from horizontal to vertical, and when it is nearly in position, men grab the base of it with large hand tools and spin it this way or that, and it is lowered in the hole. When perfectly placed, a dump truck slowly empties two tons of crushed limestone rock in the hole around the pole, while workers use air powered tampers to compress it and make it firm. Once the hole is full the machines clear away and the pole is ready to go into use!

Now that you know the recipe, here is how it looks!

Racism - Teach Your Children Well

I hate racism. There is only one race. The human race. We are all in this together folks and it is about time we started acting like it.

The recent story on the news about the kids who were asked to leave the country club made my blood boil. I haven't written about it because I knew eventually my blogfriend Dianne over at Forks Off the Moment would address it, and she did. You see she has a son who has a black father so she speaks from experience. (That brings up something else, why is it that children who have one black and one white parent are classed as "black"? half of their genes came from someone who was white.) Anyway, Dianne addressed it and you should read it here.

Addendum. - To be fair I have since heard that this has not been reported correctly. It seems the kids came at a time they were not scheduled to be there and the pool was already full. That would make a better explanation of the "This makes me very uncomfortable" remark if the pool was at capacity and more children came in. Perhaps this was not racism after all. I am willing to believe this was a parent expressing concern for the safety of her children in a crowded situation.

Wordzzle

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: sober, spoilage, knight, laugh and the world laughs with you, peak, blueberries, owl, drugstore, lampshade, keyboard


For the mini challenge: economy, Michael Jackson, ladder, clue, structure


Phrog was sober but he felt like he had been wrung through a wringer with a bunch of spoilage. He ached so much that he wasn't going to be able to lift the sword to knightt the newest members. He felt just like he had when he fell from the tree and was only saved by hanging on for dear life. Someone had snapped a picture and it hung in the foyer. Everyone who saw it laughed but Phrog did not mind. His philosophy was "laugh and the world laughs with you."
He was very hungry so he thought he would peek in the pantry to see what he could find. What he saw made him with excitement.."Oh my, pineapple upside down cake." he thought. He would continue reading Peak by Roland Smith while he ate it. He got some blueberries out to put on the cake.

All of a sudden he heard an owl hoot. He looked over and saw his pet sitting on the lampshade of love. It reminded him that he must go to the drugstore to buy some owl food for his pet. He sat down to the keyboard to play some music. Because of the economy he was going to have to spend a lot for the owl food.

He began to play a Michael Jackson hit while his owl danced up and down to the music. The bird had jumped from the lampshade to the top of a ladder. Phrog hadn't a clue as to how he was going to structure the meeting --- all this procrastination had to stop but his head hurt. What to do, What to do!

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: corn pone, delegation, nectarines, happiness, 12 going on 13, prancing horses, magenta, butterflies, fragmentary, arthritis

For the mini challenge: lavender cowboy, over the moon, preparation, zebra, area rug

Found for Friday

Thanks Kevin for the cartoons.

Four old mischievous Grandma's were sitting at a table in a nursing home.
About then an old Grandpa walked in.

One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said, 'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.'

One of the old Grandma's said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants & under shorts & we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandma's asked him to first turn around a couple of times & to jump up & down several times. Then they all piped up & said, 'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?'

Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear, all 4 old ladies happily yelled in unison--'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'.....



Thoughts for the day....

13. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

12. Life is sexually transmitted.

11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
8. Some people are like Slinkies . ... . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5.All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

3. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
You read about all these Terrorists most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video an those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

Do you know how to catch a polar bear?

First you cut a hole in the ice and sprinkle some peas around the
hole. Then, when a bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Read Slowly

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook who leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do.

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots.

12. PARADOX: Two physicians.

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with.


1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up on It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take the Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro
Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk..

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A
Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You left Him.


16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big
Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile!


A crusty old man walks into the local stone Church and says to the secretary: "I would like to join this damn church."
The astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer:

"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says.

"I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see," said the pastor "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake.. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake! The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night. And that's when he shot her

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW -- What a Ride!"

E-mail

I got this little movie in an e-mail from Sam.



I love e-mail. I have conversations with friends on e-mail and I check up on folks with e-mail. It is a good way to keep in touch with them. I can send group notices to a lot of people with e-mail and hopefully they are read and acted upon. Be that as it may be there are also limitations. Some folks have e-mail addresses and never read their e-mails. Some seem to be challenged about being able to answer their e-mail and the occasional e-mail comes back so I know it did not get through.

Text messages are like e-mail on your phone but I don't like them- for one thing my plan costs me if you send me a text message and I do not have a keyboard on my phone so to answer a Text message is a pain. But over all I do like the wonderful age we live in with the ability to commentate almost instantly with people halfway around the world. When I look at the little map and see where you folks are who are reading this blog I am awed. It used to take months to exchange the communications via letters. My Aunt Ellen used to write a newsy letter and make copies and send it to every one in the family. She lived in California and it was a great way for her to keep us in touch. Just think if she had been able to use e-mail. She signed her letters Isle of View - (say it out loud)

What I don't like about e-mail are the same things you probably don't like about them. I guess this little video explains all of that. I got the link to it in an e-mail today. Watch here.

And then tonight James sent me an e-mail with a link to an article that I recommend. It is here. It is called How Giving Changes Everything.

Some folks just forward e-mails with stories and advice in them that is spurious or false. Sometimes when a story is just to sweet or far fetched then I check it out with Truth or Fiction or Urban Legends. Like Mr Rogers being a Marine sniper in Vietnam. The truth is here. Or how Mars was going to be very close to the earth this summer. Truth here. I usually check them out and send the truth back to the person who sent it to me in the first place. Sometimes I get "caught" then I feel stupid. Anyway, that is my mini- rant for tonight. I guess it is really just an observation. Thanks for stopping by. Big Hugs, j

Easy Virtue

This was the sky when I came out of the Fluer Four Theater tonight. I went to see Easy Virtue. I had gotten an e-mail from the theater this afternoon advertising what was going to play this week-end and telling how this film was leaving on Thursday. So I needed an excuse to go to Des Moines anyway as I had to take some card stock down to Kurt because he is printing some dues cards for me. (I couldn't do them on my printer) and this was perfect. The blurb below tells you about the film.

The twenties have roared... the thirties have yet to swing. John Whittaker, a young Englishman, falls madly in love with Larita, a sexy and glamorous American woman, and they marry impetuously. However when the couple returns to the family home, his mother Mrs. Whittaker has an instant allergic reaction to her new daughter-in-law. Larita tries her best to fit in but fails to tiptoe through the minefield laid by her mother-in-law. Larita quickly realizes Mrs. Whittaker's game and sees that she must fight back if she's not going to lose John. A battle of wits ensues and sparks soon fly. Mrs. Whittaker manipulates every situation to undermine her, while Larita remains frustratingly calm and engineers sassy counter attacks. Before long, Mrs. Whittaker' s manipulation starts to work on John and Larita feels their love is in danger of slipping away.

The story was really funny in a sophisticated way and you had to be quick to catch all of the humor. I roared at some of it - and I felt alone because the other people in the theater were just sitting there quietly. It reminded me of when I went to see the movie Tom Jones in 1963 or 4 (It was later a Musical Play and had a Cast Album which I loved.) I was the only one laughing in the theater then also. I loved the double entendres and the bawdy humor.

It was written in 1924 by Noel Coward who was a playwright and composer and I love that they made the movie. There were some reviewers who did not like what the director had done with it but, Hey, I enjoyed it. But then my sense of humor is (and always has been) warped.

Speaking of humor, I am watching Craig Ferguson again. (It is so nice to be able to stay up and watch TV until I want to go to bed.) While I was watching his opening number with the puppets I suddenly realized just how much fun it must be to be him. I know he works hard at entertaining us but he also gets to put together these off the wall little skit things at the beginning of his show. You see CBS wanted him to start the show and then break for commercials (at least I think so) and he did not want to interrupt his monologue and so he had to come up with these little nutty skits to start out. Then when we come back he does his monologue which is always funny. Anyway the point of all of this is that I am just a little envious because he can act like a kid when he wants to. Putting on a wig, dancing around with puppets and acting like a real nut. Just plain fun.
Addendum: See what I mean -

He just mentioned his Web Site. You may want to take a look here. Well, anyway that is the update on my day. Boring enough for you? Thanks for stopping by. Hugs,

Here Come the Lilies

From Bob Kelly:

Late June and early July is prime time for lilies, and this collection was nothing short of outstanding. Their caretaker is a retired horticulturalist from ISU, and has been tending to his collection south of Kelley, Iowa for more than 40 years. He loved showing me around and letting me just go where I wanted for nearly two hours!
Yes, I was excited for the opportunities that radiated before me! Narrowing more than 600 images down to these few was difficult indeed. Most of the lilies are Asiatic Lilies of varying colors, and seeing them all was a technicolor dream come true. Enjoy please!!

Masons and Light Bulbs

Larry had this posted on his Blog. He said it was for me so I don't have any problem stealing it and since I don't have anything to say tonight here it is.
Q. How many Masons does it take to change a light bulb?

A. After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:

2 to complain that the light doesn't work.
1 to pass the problem to either another committee, the Temple Board or the Master of the Lodge.
3 to do a study on light in the Lodge.
2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.
3 to argue about it.
5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.
2 to complain that "that_s not the way we did it before."
1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.
1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.

So then I went into the archives to find some more in this vein.


Q: How many Masons does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: Four: One to announce in due form the changing of
the light bulb. A second at the will and pleasure to
actually change the light bulb. A third to accurately
record minutes of the bulb changing. And a forth to
talk about how it was light bulbs were changed 40
years ago.

--Far be it for me to argue with a more learned Mason than I, particularly one who is a charter and only member of the Order of Whatever, but I think you missed some. How about the committee of three to investigate whether a light is needed in that particular area and if their report is positive then a committee of three is needed to search for the best price on light bulbs. After the bulb is purchased you need some good Mason to proclaim loudly & at great length that he "could have gotten the bulb cheaper." Adding 7 to your 4, I come up with 11 and I may have missed some.


A: Masons . . . change ???


NY A: Masons . . . change ???
CT A: Can't tell ya, it’s a secret.

Dutch masonic way:
What electric light??? Are they crazy??

Very difficult question to answer, for first you must determine how many Brothers will be asked to join the committee (which of course must be cleared first with the District Inspector and if there are multiple lights in contention, the Grand Lodge will have to be contacted to ascertain
whether or not any infringement of the applicable Masonic Codes are possibly being invaded and if that is potentially unlawful under the jurisdiction procedures then the entire matter must be held over for the next Annual Communication where each viable Lodge may have the opportunity to offer their own unique input on the matter) that would henceforward be titled Lights: A Necessity In The 21st Century? .

Sometimes it's easier to just turn the lights out and practice Parking Lot Masonry.

Speaking of Masons. One of my Lodge Brothers has announced that he is running for Ames City Council - He has a web site here. It was announced in tonight's Ames Paper here.

I was wrong about Bailey. My sister corrected me. He is only 14 and he is back to normal. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs, j

Monday Diary

We practiced tonight. Got further than we had in the past. - It has been difficult to get the time to study and practice since Kurt has been working so hard and Lyssa has to work some of the nights we had scheduled to work. However we will get there. Kurt wants to do this and the Council needs to have Instructors. Of course we also get off topic - but you know that.




I can be a hard task-master. After all I was a teacher for 38 years. But Kurt is the one who is doing the work. I just hold the book and tell him if he misses a word, syllable or comma. AAfter we went to the World Market and I got some coffee from the Cafe de Monde in New Orleans. It has chicory in in and I will have it for breakfast in the morning and lift my cup to Ur-Spo who reads this blog and who has a birthday tomorrow. Got some other "stuff" also. I like to shop.

It was a busy day for me today. I had to take care of a lot of things on the Internet before the Mediacom guy came to switch me from Qwest DSL to Mediacom. Some people tell me I will be sorry but I don't think so. I am already pleased with the speed at which things load. The Cable Guy told me he had never seen such a speedy connection. I am very pleased and I will save about $40 a month.

I also got the Annual Report done for the Iowa College and the check written and mailed. That is one thing off my plate. It was actually a fairly easy form to fill out.

Bailey is back to normal. He is back to being feisty and fun and not laying around like a lethagarian. I am so very pleased about it. Jo came over and picked up Max and took him for a long walk. In fact I went to Des Moines for practice and we ate at the Macaroni Grill and I beat him home. So it is late and I don't have much to say. Thanks for stopping by. I do know that Bob went out to take some pictures of lilys. He said he took about 600 pictures. I'll bet they are spectacular. ARTYAL. Hugs. j

Look Down - Look Up

There is beauty all around. Where ever you may look. The flowers above are in the vacant lot as you leave from mailing letters. There used to be an ugly building here and now there is this wild spot full of beauty.

In the south part of town we have a Youth Sports Complex ( I did not think Youth Sports would be complex but there you have it) and along the road there are these little spots of beauty. You just have to go slow enough to see them - I think the tall purple flower that is out of focus is a wild onion. I have no way of verifying that but that is what I think, so there.
This is further south near the nursery. I used to go there to vote when I lived in South Ames.

Some of the trees and clouds at the Nursery.

Milkweed - Brings the Monarchs.

Most will drive past without seeing this.

And the clouds today. Over the Complex

My favorite shot. I think it is awesome.

I have been reading. Staying home and reading and not going out. Just reading. I read James Patterson's The 8th Confession; Wilbur Smith's Assegai and Catherine Coulter's Knockout.
And now I started Greg Loomis' The Coptic Secret. Not for me the deep tomes of research and learning. I am on an escapist binge. There are times when things pile up and I just want to escape to other worlds and places and I am enjoying doing so. I worry about things I have no control over. About false friends who are no friends and about what is going to happen with people I love. I worry about how things are piling up on friends and what can I do to help them. I hold all of them in the Light (I did not know that was a Quaker idea - read it in one of the books I just told you about).

I have also been worrying about Bailey. Poor little guy had diarrhea and vomiting. and was very listless and you know he is 15 years old and I know he won't live forever - Fortunately all of that is better. (I found two sets of turds on the floor and they were firm - I was so glad I didn't even scold him.) Tomorrow I am looking forward to meeting with a friend to work on Ritual with him. Hopefully nothing will mess it up. Also the Mediacom folks are coming and in a week I get new carpet. Bailey is being "kenneled" when I leave. I am locking him in the bathroom. I would lock him in with Max but there is a hole in the door that my sister had put in so the cat could go in and out. So they can't be together unless I can get the hole fixed. Since I am getting new carpet I do not want him peeing on it. Seems that is what Yorkies do. Jon thinks I should diaper him but I don't know where to get Yorkie diapers..

Masterpiece Theater just started and they have a new "Miss Marple" and I want to see what she is like. Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL. Hugs, j

Sunday Wisdom

From One Mountain, Many Paths
An American Freemason Speaks Out for Peace

by Dr. Patrick Swift
Click book or here to go to the page and buy it for yourself,

Lo! Those who believe, and those who are Jews and Sabaeans and Christians -- Whosoever believeth in Allah and the Last Day and doeth right - there shall be no fear come upon them neither shall they grieve

.

The Meaning of the Glorious Qu'ran 5:69
Islam

I call him Brahman who is tolerant with the intolerant, mild with the fault-finders, and free from anger among the angry.

Dhammapada 26:406 Adapted
Buddhism

These verses seem to both be about a "state of mind" which transcends the foibles of the world. It is about those who are at peace with God and the Universe, who are tolerant and calm and have achieved the state of being where the waves of intolerance and chaos cannot wash them against the rocks. Those who allow others to "be" themselves without condemn them or persecuting those who are unlike themselves. I am not there yet. Are you?

Colorful, Explosive Celebrations....

From Bob Kelly:

Cities and towns all over the USA enjoyed scenes like these on our Independence Day. As a nation we have much to celebrate, and a crucial responsibility to preserve, protect, and defend. We hope you enjoyed your celebrations, whatever they may have been!

July 4th

The Promise of America

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Lots of "stuff" on the blogs today. Happy 4th of July, Sarah Palin resigned, an American soldier has been captured by the Taliban and we are wondering if they will treat him (or her) the same way that we treated the prisoners we (tortured) held.

The Declaration of Independence is there in all its majesty.

A Youtube video of some fool shooting fireworks out his ass, and pictures of parties.

I am watching Yankee Doodle Dandy on Turner Classic Movies and am reminded that America is country built by immigrants and folks who came here under the promise of the Lady of Liberty. The chance to improve and better themselves. My own ancestors came from Scotland, Ireland and England as well as Germany. I am reminded by one of the songs in the movie that the Irish were not always welcome in America. Our country was built by immigrants and it will remain great as long as we remember the principles upon which it was founded. America is not a melting pot. It is, instead, a crazy quilt or a kaleidoscope of people a beautiful amalgamation of all of the cultures that make up America. I really hope that our country does not lose sight of the promise upon which this country was built. To celebrate the 4th please enjoy James Cagney and join with me in being grateful for the promise (still unfulfilled) that is America.


Encore - Cagney could DANCE!

Thanks for stopping by, ARTYAL. Hugs, j

Wordzzle -

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge is: Florida, spit, child bride, operatic, busy, holding pattern, sunflowers, ginger jars, office, superintendent

For the mini challenge: music to my ears, plot, powerful, braggart, super model

"Phrog, Phrog". exclaimed Sallye Salamander, "You must hurry and pack. We are going to catch the night train to Florida." She was about to spit with excitement. She had not been so excited since she was a child bride and had married the operatic superstar who had performed at the National Convention of Salamanders. He had been one of the Dragons and was busy with so many things that he had not noticed that she was not a Dragon but was instead a Sexy Salamander. It threw him into a tail-spin. Smothered his fire breathing capacity and put him into a holding pattern over the pasture of sunflowers. He had to get 200 ginger jars and deliver them to the office of the superintendent to get the marriage annulled.
"When it was finally annulled and the priest pronounced the writ of annulment it was music to my ears," said Phrog. There was a plot most powerful to oust me from the office of Chief of all the Salamanders and if not for one of the braggart dragons who told all to the super model he was daiting Phrog would not have found out about the feidnish dragon plot. But she was in love with Phrog (His power you know.) So she told and Phrog was saved from the humiliation of being replaced by the feindish Dragon and had just been re-elected. Huzzah!

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: sober, spoilage, knight, laugh and the world laughs with you, peak, blueberries, owl, drugstore, lampshade, keyboard


For the mini challenge: economy, Michael Jackson, ladder, clue, structure

Flag from Kennedy Presidential Library

The large glass pavillon at the Kennedy Presidential Library soars to a height of 115 feet. Hanging from the top of it is a giant American flag in all its glory. It seemed like a fitting photo to share on this our celebration of Independence Day.

Bob Kelly

Found for Friday

TIPS FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

*** DINING OUT ***

1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

*** ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME ***

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.


*** PERSONAL HYGIENE ***

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

*** DATING (Outside the Family) ***

1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago.”
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say, “10:00 PM;” others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date’s appearance, such as “ya sure don’t sweat much for a fat broad.”


*** WEDDINGS ***

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.

*** DRIVING ETIQUETTE ***

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using pantie hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

*** TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER ***

1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

Children Writing About The Ocean

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said
they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

Click to embiggen and read.

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

WAITER!" shouted the customer, "This coffee tastes like MUD!!!"
"Well," said the waiter, "it was ground this morning."


Subject: Good Clean Jokes


Secret Service?
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and
the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside:
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord,
Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at
Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Click to embiggen and read.

The Good News
Here is the story of a minister who got up on Sunday and
announced to his congregation"I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our
new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in
your pockets."
______________________________________________________________________
The Amish Way
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
carriage.The owner of the carriage obviously
had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the
carriage was a hand printed sign:
"ENERGY EFFICIENT VEHICLE. RUNS ON OATS AND GRASS. CAUTION: DO
NOT STEP IN EXHAUST.!!!!

At The Last Minute
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just
before a long holiday week- end.The attendant worked quickly,
but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend,said the young man,"sorry about the delay. It seems as if
everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip";
The minister chuckled, " I know what you mean. "It's the same
in my business."
____________________________________________________________________________
Something To Think About

Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying
to enforce the 10 commandments.

"Someone has said that there are only two kinds of people in
the world---- There are those who wake up in the morning and say,
"Good Morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning
and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly,
"I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied,
" What do you mean, you know what the Bible means? The son replied,
"I do know!" "Okay."said his father. "So, Son, what does the
Bible mean? B-BASIC I-INSTRUCTIONS B-BEFORE L-LEAVING E-EARTH

There was this gracious lady mailing an old family Bible to her
brother in another part of the country. " Is there anything breakable
in here?" asked the postal clerk."Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Good friends are like stars........You don't always see them,
but you know they are always there.

History Channel

I just sent this to The History Channel

As a Freemason I was excited to watch the Secrets of the Founding Fathers on the History Channel this week. Was I in for a surprise! With the exception of the three "real" Masons on the show, Mark Tabbert, Brent Morris and Chris Hodapp I found the others to be full of innuendo and error and, in fact, so much pure unadulterated sensationalistic claptrap that your entire operation is not something I wish to continue with. Therefore please cancel my membership in The Club.

If they send me any future magazines they will go directly into the trash.

Tractor Square Dance

I used to go to Square Dances with my Aunt and Uncle. They were never like this. Thanks Butch for sending the link.

Purple sky from Russia!

As I was driving home this evening the sunset was particularly beautiful. I almost tried to get a picture but didn't Fortunately Bob was out with his camera and sends this photo and explanation of the sky for your information, elucidation and edification.

Last week a volcano erupted in Russia, and the ash plume is now circling around the globe and the light refracting with the ash is creating some colorful sunsets. Observers have reported a distinct purplish cast that they had never seen before. You can see some examples of it from around the world here .

This is the way it looked in Ames Wednesday evening about 9:10 PM, and I do believe there is a purplish kind of glow in the north west that I have never seen previously. If you would like to see it, find an open spot in the sky, preferably down to the horizon and check about 20-30 minutes after the sun has dropped out of view. There is always a lovely afterglow in the sky for sometime when the sun is gone, and that was when it became evident, but it did not last long. The color values in this photo were not altered in any way, although the image was made darker so the clouds would be more evident. I hope you may be able to see it on Thursday evening. Good luck!

Happy Birthday Ginny
Today is my sister's Birthday.
Hope it is a happy one. j

Summertime means Clematis!

The Clematis is a sure sign of summertime, as it awakes from a winter nap and begins to vine and grow on supports such as this fence and chicken wire, or on a trellis, or sometimes just around a pole. They come in many lovely colors and are quite large and when lots of them bloom they are impressive like this variety called Jackmanii Superba.

Bob Kelly