Saturday, July 31, 2010
Buick show in Ames this week - Photos by Bob Kelly
Friday, July 30, 2010
Found For Friday
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that
didn't do any good.
On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home
and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished
bathing he was to throw open all the windows and
stand in the draft.
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"I know," said his physician. "I can cure pneumonia."
I Dream of Jeannie
Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth!
This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Just about all my life I belonged to the Reformed Lutheran Church. When I married my wife, I converted to her church, which at that time was called the Lutheran Church in America.
In order to do so, I had to attend classes. At one of the first sessions, the minister conducting the class said,
"What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?"
I replied, perhaps too quickly.... "Sin?"

During a wind storm an elderly woman was holding on to her hat while her skirt was blowing up around her neck. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me Madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," Said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!"said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
To The Nines
One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street. When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.
"Oh, wow, this is an omen!" the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99¢ store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the Race Track. As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent: "I would like to bet $999.99 on Horse No. 9 in the 9th race."
"Why those particular numbers?" the ticket agent asked.
"Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly. "I'm really on a roll!"
Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until Race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.
The horse came in ninth.
You Know You're Living In 2010 When...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
I Work In A Zoo
This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.
They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.
Well, the guy has his doubts, but he needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage.
The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around.
During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars.
He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!"

Thursday, July 29, 2010
Quote of the Day
If we want success for our country, we can't accept failure in our schools.President Obama
AND NOW FOR A CHANGE OF PACE
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Where do they find them?- Iowa - In(f****ing)credible
Iowa GOP Supports Amendment To Strip Obama’s Citizenship Because He Won The Nobel Peace Prize
At its state convention in Des Moines last month, the Iowa GOP adopted a new party platform that includes the repeal of mandatory minimum wage laws, the elimination of the U.S. Department of Education, and even clarification on the definition of manure. Out of the “387 enumerated planks and principles,” Newsweek’s Jerry Adler found the most “startling” section of the platform calls for “the reintroduction and ratification of the original 13th Amendment.”
Only in Iowa - Read the whole thing here.
...Iowa is currently “the only state where this type of plank has been introduced into the GOP platform.” While chances are indeed remote that such a measure would pass, should the Iowa GOP and “Thirteenthers” successfully push their belief, “every act of federal government since 1819,” including the abolition of slavery, “would be delegitimized.
Amazing just amazing.
Link to Newsweek article which concludes
As far as their platform goes, we should all be willing to defer to Iowa Republicans on the definition of manure as natural fertilizer. So long as they keep it on the fields, where it belongs.
Out of Jail
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Warning Graphic Photos

Try Pride!

In 1981, I was installed as Grand High Priest of the Grand Chapter of Royal Arch Masons of the State of Iowa. The remarks I made at that time are reproduced (with one sentence added) below. I am posting it because I fear no one listened. At that time we had over 10,000 Royal Arch Masons in the State of Iowa. Today the number has dropped to 2,800. Something needs to be done. I still think the following ideas are a part of the solution. I just hope it is not too late
Most of us are proud that we are Masons. Many of us wear the emblem of the fraternity on our rings, belt buckles and coats as a mark of that pride. Many of us are proud of the fact that we are also York Rite Masons.
We are proud of our membership in the York Rite but I ask you – Do we show it? Do we convey our pride in our organization to each other and to the non-member? Do we show our pride by attending meetings and getting involved in doing everything we can to support the programs of the presiding officer and the Companions and Sir Knights who are working in the various degrees? Do we make the effort to show new members that we are supportive of the York Rite by being on the sidelines even when we don’t have an active part in the degree?
Some Companions and Sir Knights do –others carry the title only and do nothing to support the Lodge, Chapter, Council or Commandery.
“Apathy is a dread disease – even nations die of it.” The York Rite will also die from it unless a general turnaround occurs.
You as a presiding officer or a future presiding officer have a lot to say about the enthusiasm of your membership. If you show no pride in your work – if you do not have a planned program that fosters participation from a crew of willing workers, you will see less and less participation in the Rite and eventually you will see the organization wither and die on the vine from lack of good nutrients.
What are some of the nutrients for a successful York Rite Organization?
PROGRAM – I put program ahead of ritual for growth. You must have good ritual and good ritualists are important but in this day and age good ritual alone will not generate the pride of membership necessary for growth and the continuance of the fraternity.
Program – properly planned and publicized will help generate the pride of belonging which will attract new members to our ranks. Something every other month will help. Not only that, it will help the Companions and Sir Knights to feel the desire to participate in the York Rite. In our modern world, people are crying for something to get involved with – something they can be successful at so they can have the pride of accomplishment. The York Rite can give them that.
RITUAL - Good ritual well rehearsed and performed with realism and drama will also generate pride. Nothing is worse than going to a meeting and seeing people who do not care about the job they do as ritualists. We have impressive degrees and Orders and they should be presented that way. The words are important but the drama and the meaning are much more important.
Our candidates have seen much good drama with exposure to television, movies and plays. They know what good acting is and a ritualist is essentially an actor. He is taking part in a play – a play designed to convey great moral lessons and he should always remember that fact. Nothing will turn a new member off quicker than sloppy ritual – delivered in a singsong or unnatural manner. Ritual with many promptings or mispronunciations or non-articulated delivery. Nothing will generate more enthusiasm and pride than good ritual dramatically presented full of important meaning for his life.
INTEREST – Officers and members must display an interest in the Rite and its meetings if they expect new members to become interested. Interest isn’t just showing up at meetings, it is active support of the Rite, its programs and members
DEDICATION – Without this important ingredient, the principles of our Rite will soon be lost. The Rite will become like something written down and stored on a shelf or studied by the College of Rites once or twice a year – a historical rite and not a living viable one active in today’s world.
ENTHUSIASM – The capstone of our ingredients. It is not enough to have a good program and ritual, to display an interest and to be dedicated. We must be enthusiastic. We must work together as officers and members to generate enthusiasm among all members, enthusiasm which will keep our Rite active and viable. We must be more than caretakers – we must be disciples.
| P ROGRAM | |
| R ITUAL | |
| I NTEREST | PRIDE |
| D EDICATION | |
| E NTHUSIASM | |
The potential of the York Rite is tremendous. Our brothers of the Scottish Rite have learned the lesson of Pride and Enthusiasm long ago and display it in their daily lives. It is time that we did the same.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Harry Truman's integration of the armed services represented the most significant institutional advance for the civil rights of black Americans since President Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation."
Miles on Monday

Sunday, July 25, 2010
Technicolor Pond - Photo by Bob Kelly
This photo was taken within minutes of the "Technicolor Pond" image, as the sun was going down, and working it's magic all around the sky. This shot is taken looking south, not west! I had photographed this view earlier and was not pleased with the results, but in a few minutes, after the sun had dropped, the glow was showing in the entire 360 degrees of sky! It was worth swatting the mosquitoes to get this shot!






















