Found For Friday

 OVERDUE:

Mr Brown comes home one night, and his 

wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have 

great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're 

going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a 

test today, but until we find out for sure, we 

can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs Brown receives a 

telephone call from the Electric Company 

because the electricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs Brown?"

"Yes...... speaking."

Electricity guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the Electricity guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files  HOW ?????"

"Yes ........... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"

"GOD !!!!!!...... ... this is too much........ .."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ........let me talk to my husband about this tonight...... he 

will speak to your company tomorrow."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit and he, mad as a 

bull, rushes to Electricity office the next morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month 

overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at the office, "it's 

nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us..."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

 And You Thought They Didn't Know...  :-)

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-

old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a 

Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...

He began his commentary as his parents put the...ir plan into 

operation:

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.

"An ambulance just drove by!"

"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike!"

"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"

"Jason is on his skate board!"

After a few moments he announced... "The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called 

out...

"How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

          Downtown   Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering 52 blocks,  allowing people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going  outside. The only downside to this is that a Norwegian  occasionally turns up missing.

     Cartoonist   Charles M. Shultz was born in Minneapolis , Minnesota 

and grew up  in St. Paul. He was the only artist to accurately depict 

the perfectly circular heads of Minnesota  natives.
 

  The  Hormel Company of Austin , Minnesota produces 6 million cans of  Spam a year, even though no one actually eats it. Spam is a prized  food in Japan & Hawaii--Spam sushi!!

 Frank  C. Mars, founder of the Mars Candy Co. was born in Newport,  Minnesota . His 3 Musketeers candy bar originally contained three  bars in one wrapper, each filled with a different flavor of nougat  -chocolate, Spam and lutefisk.

     Tonka  trucks continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka, Minnesota,  despite the thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in  rollover accidents. No airbags, no seat belts. These things are  deathtraps, I tell ya!

   Author  Laura Ingalls Wilder was raised at Walnut Grove, Minnesota, and  was famous for writing the "Little House" series of books, as well  as inventing the "Spam diet" which consists of looking at a plate  of Spam until you lose your appetite. Much like the "lutefisk  diet"

      Minnesotans   are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites. The only way to  tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in  '84.

 Cold  is a relative thing ya know....
        At 65  degrees, Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant  gardens. At 60, Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in  Minnesota sunbathe. At 50, Italian & English cars won't start.  People in Minnesotadrive with the windows down..

  At 40,  Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People  in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

At 35, New York  landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the  last cookout before it gets cold.

  At 20, People in Miami  all die. Minnesotans close their windows.

At 0, Californians  fly away to Mexico . People inMinnesota get out 

their winter  coats.

At 10 below zero, Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl  Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

 At  20 below, Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.).  People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

At 30  below, Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get 

upset  because they can't start the snowmobile.

At 40 below, ALL  atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold  enough for ya, eh?"

 
At 50 below, hell freezes over.  Minnesota public schools will open 2  hours late.