Friday, February 28, 2014

Found For Friday



JEWISH RYE BREAD

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies. You'll feel like 40 again!"

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."

She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard.

He replied, "Damn! I can't believe everybody knows about this but me."


 When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

 A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.



 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.



 The batteries were given out free of charge.


A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


To stay fit the priest exorcises. 


 When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.



Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

 .. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Throwback Thursday

I started teaching in 1965 and this would first the class I taught. 1965 - 66.  

A Nice Story

Elderly Woman Waves at Students Every Day. Then She Got a HUGE Surprise.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Hump Day

Dave Salmoni on Jimmy Kimmel Live PART 1 Dave Salmoni on Jimmy Kimmel Live PART 2 Dave Salmoni on Jimmy Kimmel Live PART 3

Toad Tales

 I think that this little MEME is very worth a second look.  There is nothing more worthwhile that a good education.  However there are a lot of people who do not understand the first thing common sense and they can hold degrees and still still can be incredibly stupid.  Particularly Arizona Replicrums... I watched this in Anderson 360 and watched this guy ranks of those who shake my head,,,

GOP Lawmaker: There's No Discrimination In Arizona! (VIDEO)  



 Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.
He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"
Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."



Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Ben Aaron.

Ben Aaron is one of my favorite Favorite Facebook places for me to 

watch stop to watch.  There is always something fun to watch or listen to and it brightens to my day.  One of the things have I fun watching is Dance Walking.  Ben watched this guy on the street and then he started a trend which went viral and then .... well you just watch the two videos.  I am thinking of starting it for myself.

Dance Walking Fitness Ben Aaron. Time to Dance Walk Baby

Ben Aaron Finds The Nameless Dance Walk Guru Master.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Watch this, bring the tissues

Molly on Monday

 Molly here,
 
   We had a bit of a snow storm on Thursday.  I don't mind snow but I this time was different.  We had THUNDERSNOW  I don't like snow and I did like it with the mix of snow and thunder.     I usually had under the chair  but this time I had BG let me hide under the blanket.
 Even Miss Cassie did not it like it.

 B G had both of them on his lap at the same time.
 Amanda came and watched B G work on his speech therapy.  I enjoy working with her and B G.

He took a couple of pictures for me.
B G says this was a really nice photo.
 Enjoy your Monday.  Woof!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sunday

 "God does not die on the day when we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illumined by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason."
~ Dag Hammarskjold,

Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice. All things belong to you - the two - legged, the four - legged, the wings of the air, and all green things that live. Day in, day out, forevermore, you are the life of things. 
—Black Elk, Oglala Sioux 
"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
~Carl Jung 
 "Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation."

~Rabindranath Tagore
 All beings want to live undisturbed in peace and happiness. Therefore, the concept of human rights is universal. It should apply to everyone who experiences pain or pleasure. This is why developing sincere concern for others gives us peace of mind; it brings with it trust and a sense of peace. Cultivating warm-heartedness contributes to our own well-being.

Dalai Lama
We all have different faces, characters and names. If God wanted us to be all same, He would have done it. Not to respect the differences, to accuse the others for our faults is not to respect God.

~ Shams Tabrizi

All that you seek is already within you. In Hinduism it is called the Atman, in Buddhism the pure Buddha-Mind. Christ said, 'the kingdom of heaven is within you.' Quakers call it the ‘still small voice within.’ This is the space of full awareness that is in harmony with all the universe, and thus is wisdom itself.

The Edge of Awakening


Saturday, February 22, 2014

February 22


This is the piece I wrote about my mother.  Her birthday was the 22nd of the month and today would have been 101.  I still think of her every day.  This is one of my favorite pictures of her.

 I was very fortunate in my mother. She and my father divorced when I was about four years old and we moved in with her parents. Mom liked to go out and party so every Saturday night my great-aunts would take care of me and I have special memories of them.

Mom was my best friend when I was growing up. She, as a single parent, sacrificed a lot for me and later for my sister also. But she was mine until I was ten years old. (Actually things work out kind of fun for us to remember our ages.  

Mother was one of those people who wanted everyone to get along and be friends and her friends were life-long friends. Her parents were great examples of that type of friendship. They belonged to a club called "Suitsus" (read that suits us) and they played cards with the same group of people for years. Mother had a Bridge Club that met every other week and these women played cards for over 40 years. 

Mom made sure that my needs and wants were met even if she had to go without. She saw to it that I was able to visit her sister in California between my Junior and Senior year in High School because she had been there and knew I would enjoy it.

She loved people and would talk to anyone she met. She "didn't know a stranger." We went to Leech Lake in Minnesota and made lots of friends there. We played a lot of cards. One sister who was up there all summer once made the remark that "Ruth just can't wait to get up there to play cards." This as Mom passed her to go to the Lodge to play cards.

We met a lot of people there and I will never forget some of them. Many drove in from far away and always managed to be there when we were there. Mary Jane and Morrie became a part of our family and we spent a lot of time with them at other times also. Mary Jane's parents became as close as anyone could be to us and we all loved them.

It is because of my mother and her capacity for making and keeping friends that my life was enriched by so many people. 

She worked in offices and was very good at what she did. I know that she had to rework a lot of the reports that the farm managers turned into her and "saved their butts" by cleaning up the spelling and grammar. They appreciated her but she was never paid what they should have. i know things are somewhat better today but women are still not paid what men are paid and it is just WRONG.

She also saw to it that I knew how to take care of myself. I learned how to do laundry and sew on buttons because everybody should be able to take care of those things. She also let me cook and while I am not a great cook (like my nephew) I can put a meal on the table and I won't starve.

Mother was also responsible for me joining the Masons. She was a Rainbow Girl (Past Grand Hope) when she was younger and had always wanted to join Eastern Star. After my grandfather re-joined the Masons she was able to join. She said to me that she thought that I "might enjoy" the Masons. During my first year of teaching I noticed a Masonic ring on my principal's finger and mentioned to him what Mom had said. He asked me if I was interested in joining and I said yes. So I joined Trojan Lodge in Marion Iowa in the Spring of 1966 and then drove back to Ames in October to join Laura Chapter, Order of the Eastern Star and became a fourth generation member of the Chapter. Mom was the only regular officer that night as it was a friendship night and having her give me the lecture for Ruth made it a very special evening.

I can't be a fourth generation member of the Lodge even though four great grandfathers and two grandfathers were Masons because my father was never a member.

So Mom I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday. I still love you and miss you and wish you were here. I know the last years of your life were tough ones but giving up smoking was a good thing and added some time. And through it all you maintained your loving spirit and caring for others. I was indeed fortunate in my mother. I am a better person for having you as my friend/example/advocate. Your son, Jay

Saturday at the Movies

Adam Ben Ezra - AWESOME UPRIGHT BASS SOLO !! Notice the dog.

 Trololo Sing Along! Brian Williams

Let It Go (Disney's "Frozen") Vivaldi's Winter - ThePianoGuys

Whale Watching

Friday, February 21, 2014

Found For Friday



A priest is giving a homily based on Jesus's command to love your enemies.


"Now," he says, "I'll bet that many of us feel as if we have enemies in our lives," he says the congregation. "So raise your hands," he says, "if you have many enemies." And quite a few people raise their hands. "Now raise your hands if you have only a few enemies." And about half as many people raise their hands. "Now raise your hands if you have only one or two enemies." And even fewer people raised their hands. "See," says the priest, "most of us feel like we have enemies."

"Now raise your hands if you have no enemies at all." And the priest looks around, and looks around, and finally, way in the back, a very, very old man raises his hand. He stands up and says, "I have no enemies whatsoever!" Delighted, the priest invites the man to the front of the church. "What a blessing!" the priest says. "How old are you?

"I'm 98 years old, and I have no enemies." The priest says, "What a wonderful Christian life you lead! And tell us all how it is that you have no enemies."

"All the bastards have died!"


Did you hear about the new liberal Episcopal church?
It has six commandments and four suggestions.


A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice." And the priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were at confession?"
"Never, Father -- I'm Jewish."
"So why are you telling me?"
"I'm tellin' everybody!"
Three couples--an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple--wanted to join a Baptist church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes up to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle-aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a light bulb on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I couldn't help myself and we had sex right there on the floor."
The pastor said, "Well, then you're not welcome in the Baptist church."
"That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."
A woman dies and goes to heaven, and St. Peter takes her on a tour of heaven. They pass a pit where there were people gnashing their teeth and wailing, and the woman says, "Who's down there?"
St. Peter says, "Oh, those are the Catholics who ate meat on Fridays."
They walked a little farther and there was another pit with more groaning and wailing, and she says, "O.K., who's down there?"
St. Peter answers, "Those are the Baptists who went to dances."
And a little farther along, there was another pit and people down there gnashing their teeth and crying and ripping their garments, and she says, "And those people?"
And St. Peter says, "Those are the Episcopalians who ate their salads with their dessert forks."
Why should you always invite TWO Baptists to go fishing with you?
If you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer. Invite two and they won't drink any


You may have noticed that liturgical practices of the Episcopal and Roman Catholic churches have a lot in common, and their members are often very much alike. Here is one distinction that I have confirmed by a random sampling: Episcopalians get out of the shower to pee.

Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? 
A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand. 
 
Q: Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible? 
A: He floated his stock while everybody else was being liquidated. 
 
Q: What do you call Pope Benedict XVI after his last day? 
A: Ex Benedict.  
Q: Why did the priest giggle? 
A: Mass hysteria! 
 
Q: How is a Catholic priest like a Christmas tree? 
A: The balls are just for decoration. 
 
Q: What do you call a nun with a sex change operation? 
A: A tran-sister.