Monday, June 30, 2008

I think the Presbyterians Have It Right.

This is very important. I watched part of the Presbyterian General Assembly on Streaming Video. They seem to me to be doing things to move their Church into the 21st Century and following Jesus' Gospel of Love.

Post stolen from Shuck and Jive.
General Assembly Approves A Social Creed for the 21st Century
by John Shuck

One of the action items at the General Assembly that has been overshadowed by the ordination question is the adoption of A Social Creed for the Twenty-First Century. This was a big deal. It was approved by a five to one margin.

This comes on the 100th anniversary of the 1908 Social Creed. You can read a history of the 1908 Social Creed on Witherspoon. Many of the same principles of the 1908 Social Creed are present in the current one.

Yet, many things have changed in one hundred years. Technology, overpopulation, the climate crisis, the extinction of species, nuclear weaponry, and the list continues.

The General Assembly asked congregations and members to study this creed and to hopefully, make decisions in our personal and collective lives that reflect these principles.

Here is the text:

A Social Creed for the Twenty-First Century
We churches of the United States have a message of hope for a fearful time. Just as the churches responded to the harshness of early twentieth century industrialization with a prophetic “Social Creed” in 1908, so in our era of globalization we offer a vision of a society that shares more and consumes less, seeks compassion over suspicion and equality over domination, and finds security in joined hands rather than massed arms. Inspired by Isaiah’s vision of a “peaceable kingdom,” we honor the dignity of every person and the intrinsic value of every creature, and pray and work for the day when none “labor in vain, or bear children for calamity” (Isa. 65:23). We do so as disciples of the One who came “that [all] may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10), and stand in solidarity with Christians and with all who strive for justice around the globe.

In faith, responding to our Creator, we celebrate the full humanity of each woman, man, and child, all created in the divine image as individuals of infinite worth, by working for:
  • Full civil, political, and economic rights for women and men of all races.
  • Abolition of forced labor, human trafficking, and the exploitation of children.
  • Employment for all, at a family-sustaining living wage, with equal pay for comparable work.
  • The rights of workers to organize, and to share in workplace decisions and productivity growth.
  • Protection from dangerous working conditions, with time and benefits to enable full family life.
  • A system of criminal rehabilitation, based on restorative justice and an end to the death penalty.
In the love incarnate in Jesus, despite the world’s sufferings and evils, we honor the deep connections within our human family and seek to awaken a new spirit of community, by working for:
  • Abatement of hunger and poverty, and enactment of policies benefiting the most vulnerable.
  • High quality public education for all and universal, affordable, and accessible healthcare.
  • An effective program of social security during sickness, disability, and old age.
  • Tax and budget policies that reduce disparities between rich and poor, strengthen democracy, and provide greater opportunity for everyone within the common good.
  • Just immigration policies that protect family unity, safeguard workers’ rights, require employer accountability, and foster international cooperation.
  • Sustainable communities marked by affordable housing, access to good jobs, and public safety.
  • Public service as a high vocation, with real limits on the power of private interests in politics.
In hope sustained by the Holy Spirit, we pledge to be peacemakers in the world and stewards of God’s good creation, by working for:
  • Adoption of simpler lifestyles for those who have enough; grace over greed in economic life. (emphasis mine - I love that concept)
  • Access for all to clean air and water and healthy food, through wise care of land and technology.
  • Sustainable use of earth’s resources, promoting alternative energy sources and public transportation with binding covenants to reduce global warming and protect populations most affected.
  • Equitable global trade and aid that protects local economies, cultures, and livelihoods.
  • Peacemaking through multilateral diplomacy rather than unilateral force, the abolition of torture, and a strengthening of the United Nations and the rule of international law.
  • Nuclear disarmament and redirection of military spending to more peaceful and productive uses.
  • Cooperation and dialogue for peace and environmental justice among the world’s religions.
We—individual Christians and churches--commit ourselves to a culture of peace and freedom that embraces non-violence, nurtures character, treasures the environment, and builds community, rooted in a spirituality of inner growth with outward action. We make this commitment together—as members of Christ’s body, led by the one Spirit—trusting in the God who makes all things new.

Perhaps this social creed, if we do study it and take it to heart, can mobilize Presbyterians beyond our divisions for a more just and sustainable Earth.

Jay says, By the Grace of God and his Son may we all be led to this wonderful creed. Thank you Presbyterians. And thanks also to John Shuck for making me aware of this,

Monday, Monday

OK, I stole this sign from Timothy's Blog. He made it and I stole it. I am unrepentant. I like it. I am excited about next Monday Night.

It is Masonic History. I have never seen a Lodge Instituted nor have I ever helped to form a Lodge. I am really thrilled to be a part of this.

Now for the rest of the Post. I went to Des Moines today. I went down to have coffee with my friend Matt who has grown a goatee. I think it makes him look extinguished - oops I mean distinguished. He said that some people think it makes him look mean. I don't but then when you have a friend you can't imagine them looking like anything bad. I seem to have read that somewhere.

Now some impressions of Des Moines that I took

The Court House that gives Court Avenue its name. I have never been inside this building but I love the way it dominates the street. This area used to be a pit with old crummy bars and adult bookstores. The city has done a beautiful job of making it a family friendly area where you can go for a good meal and entertainment.

Then I went to the Temple For The Performing Arts. This is where Matt and I usually meet for Coffee. I used to go here to Masonic Meetings and am really glad that they saved the building. Here are some pictures from here. By the way you can embiggen these pictures by clicking on them. But then you knew that.

I love Starbucks! I cheated and had a lemonade.

And a slice of lemon pound cake. My bad!

But oh, it was good. And I hadn't had lunch.

Then a picture of the library again followed by some general pics around the area. Des Moines really has some good photo opps.

After coffee with Matt (and yes, I did also have coffee) I went to Costco to get some Zero and some candlesticks I had heard about. Then I went to Acanthus because I thought they were going to have a Third Degree tonight but it got canceled so I got to have a nice visit with Charlie and Sam and then John asked me to help out with a practice upstairs. So I did and it was a lot of fun..

I really need to learn the K.S. part for the second section of the Third degree but I am working on relearning the Captain of the Host for the Royal Arch Degree next. I generally do Jeshua but I did the Captain of the Host one time when I was Grand Captain of the Host (a long, long time ago) and I told David I would do it this Fall. So now I am committed (or rather should I be committed - Am I to old to relearn something from 25 years ago?) It was good to see folks there again. You know the hell with gas prices. I am going to make more of an effort to get down there at least a couple of times a month. I do belong to that Lodge also so I need to support them.

I seem to have most of my issues resolved. My post yesterday did some good. Sometimes God works through me and I don't know it until after it happens. I remember one time when I was First Reader at the Christian Science Church and I put together a lesson for a Wednesday Night Service and when it was done I wasn't happy with it. But it was to late to change it. So I used it. That night there was a young man in the congregation who had never been there before. I used the idea of renewal and newness as the theme for the evening.

When I was done and we got to the Testimony part of the service this young man got up and gave a testimony about "my" lesson. He spoke about how much it meant to him and how it had been prepared just for him You see he had been a drug addict and in a really low point in his life when he found Christian Science. And he was healed. So I went away feeling that I had been "used" by God. It is an incredibly humbling feeling. That is the way I felt when I heard back from a couple of people about my blog post yesterday. I was "used" again and besides Ginny liked it. ARTYAL, Hugs. j-bear (Who really likes those hugs - even if they are only spiritual hugs.)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sunday - It was a wonderful Day!

A picture of the Prince in the outfit I got him when I was in San Diego (for his birthday). He chose to wear it on his Birthday. (Not too sure about the shoes though)

Now some of the pictures I took today.

This is the building where I used to go to Church,
It is now the Unity Church and they have put in a red door.
Here are some other doors. These at the Post Office

I took this for Doug at Heard Around the Campfire who likes to canoe. 
These folks were canoeing on the Skunk

This in the Bridge over the Skunk near Peterson's Pits.
The Beach at Peterson's Pits
Ada Hayden Heritage Park used to be a gravel pit north of Ames.
My cabin in the woods.
This one is for Bob. It is a Windmill. Iowa Kudzu?
Even a pile of cut wood can have beauty.
This is the vine covered trunk of an old tree at the entrance to Peterson's Pit West.
This is leftover Flood.
Iowa has Beauty wherever you look.

Click on this picture to be taken to the on-line gallery to see all the pictures I took today. As I was driving around the lyrics for this song kept going though my head:

On a clear day
Rise and look around you
And you'll see who you are.
On a clear day
How it will astound you
That the glow of your being outshines ev'ry star.

You'll feel part of ev'ry mountain sea and shore.
You can hear, from far and near,
A world you've never heard before.
And on a clear day...
On that clear day...
You can see forever and ever more!

Lessons I have learned - Happy Birthday Sis

In 1949 there was a musical written. South Pacific. I just watched it on PBS and I was emotional all through it. Reba McIntyre starred in this concert performance of this great musical. It was made into a movie in 1958 and I must have seen it that year.

Over the years I have grown to appreciate the message of this show more and more. The song "You've Got To Be Carefully Taught" was controversial then. It is still has a message for today when racism and hate are still a part of out society and the religion which is supposed to be one of Love.
Cable sings:
You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught!
I still see it happening. And I see it done in the name of religion. "God Hates" - "Love the Sinner Hate the Sin" are just two of the things that are used today to teach hate. And lets face it folks that is what it is. Hate. Pure and Simple. And that is not the message that was brought to us. By any of the great teachers of any of the great religions.

I know from personal experience that the voice of God is still and small and it comes to us in the quietness of the night or when we are down and need uplifting. All we need to do is listen. I know I have said this before but I learned about this when I was coming back from a trip to Boston. I had heard that my beautiful loving sister had tried, once again, to kill herself. After a horrible car accident she wound up in a wheelchair and really did not want to live. So she tried this way out a couple of times. Thankfully it didn't work. She is still here and she is still enriching the lives of those who know her.

As I drove back those thousand miles in the rain and storms (yeah, fun it wasn't) I did a lot of thinking. I thought of people who had told me that she should be put in a mental hospital or her ability to drive her car should be taken away from her. People who were supposed to love her were saying these things and I was upset. But as I drove home, thinking about this little girl who had brought so much joy (and yes heartache - but then who doesn't) into our lives. How absolutely incredibly joyous it was that she came into my life when I was 10 years old. How she used to follow me around and what fun we all had growing up.

How she was able, when she found herself pregnant and unmarried, to keep that a secret from Mother and me until we returned from a trip to Texas. And how she had gone to Birthright and found out the steps she had to take to have her baby. How difficult it was to watch her go through this and how much she hated the idea of having a baby without a father. And then I witnessed that wonderful bonding moment which happens between a mother and a son. I saw Love born. And she changed.

She is my sister and her accident changed her and my life tremendously. She was flown to Des Moines to the hospital where those miracles called doctors saved her life and enabled her to go on living. There was a rehabilitation time and the help she got from the caring medical staff at Mercy Capitol was incredible. And then she was able to come home to the house I had gotten and had remodeled thanks to Brandon Zanger and live with me. I thought about how she had decided to volunteer and to help others, how she got back into school and begin to work towards a degree.

I thought about all of those things and when I got home I took the keys to her car and gave them to her. You see, I believe that God had spoken to me that week on the trip home. He said, "All you can do is love her." That is all any of us can do. LOVE. I refuse to be "taught to hate." And I won't listen to anyone who tells me that "God hates" or even that "God says" cause if they tell me anything other than" God loves" they are wrong.

Ginny doesn't live with me any more. She met a guy while in school. His name is Bruce and he loves her also. I have seen them together and it is fun to watch them. He calls her Honey and takes great care of her. He took her to Missouri and that is kind of hard for her because she has so many friends up here. But they are good together and she keeps in contact with people on the Internets. She is still in a wheelchair but she has learned to function with it and she does very well.

So this post is about two things. My sister who will celebrate her 56th birthday on Tuesday and about how grateful I am for every instance where God's message of love has come to me. I just wish everyone would listen to that message.

I was having an e-mail conversation with my friend and Brother Timothy Bonney and I wrote:

I guess my ... standards are not to hurt others on purpose and to live my life as I understand the Christ in the stories that Jesus told us and to see God in everyone (even those who don't recognize Him in themselves). That is probably enough.
Not always an easy thing to do and I fall far short of my own standards a lot of the time.

Someone once said to me, "You do a good job of preaching Masonic stuff, not sure how much you really live it." Well, I guess I am not sure either. All I know for sure is that if I have done something to hurt someone I am sorry for it and I try to do better in the future. And every once in awhile I think about it and vow to try to do better. I guess that is all any of us can do. Try!

I think this from the KJV of the Bible says it all:
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
I didn't start out to write all of this. In fact, I didn't start out to write any of it. What I started out to do was put some pictures on the Blog which I took today. But here it is. Happy Birthday Ginny, I love you and am happy for you. I put your card and present in the mail today. If it doesn't get there by Tuesday it should by Wednesday. As for the rest of it just find some quiet time and listen also. That is all anyone has to do. ARTYAL, Giant Hugs, j

Darwin Awards

Eighth Place: In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place: A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place: While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place: Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place: Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place: After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter…. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION: Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP: Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves… 'Shit happens'.
We should thank these people from the bottoms of our hearts whenever their behavior causes them to be removed from the gene pool.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Gunshot Survivor

Charlie B sent me this. I don't really have anything original to offer and since I have been accused of being negative and a cynic I thought I would just be quiet today and then this came and it was to good not to share. Best laugh I have had all week. Apologies if it offends.

Linda Burnett , 23, a resident of San Diego , was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is a blonde and a Republican, and a McCain supporter, but that could be irrelevant.

I Love It!

Bluebirds from Bob

Morning - time for a bath and a rest in the sun. Bob took these beautiful pictures near Ames. I have not seen a Bluebird in the wild that I CAN REMEMBER. I may decided to get dressed before noon to go see them. Once again Bob has proven to be the consummate photographer. Thank you, sir.

Friday, June 27, 2008

An Award

Raven has honored me with an Award. She says:

Jay Simser at Bailey's Buddy. Jay is a regular participant in my Saturday Wordzzle Challenge, adding his own special twist to the process every week. I am awed by the prolific variety of his posts. I don't know how he finds the time to share so many posts on such a wide range of topics and still do all the things he does in his life.

The rules (And Yes, Raven I hate Rules also) are as follows

1) Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog.

One problem is that I have been seeing this award on Blogs I read and doubt that I should give it to people who have already received it.

My five choices for the Arte Y Pico Award are as follows:

First Kurt's Kommentaries from Friend and Brother Kurt Hoffmann. Kurt can't spell but he consistently puts up interesting posts about his interests which (like mine) are eclectic and interesting.

Then Kurt's Wife at Blondie Speaks gets one. Just because she puts up pictures of her kids and they are favorites of mine. I also love to see her creative work with her sewing.

Michael at Spo-Reflections has become a Blogfriend. He reads my blog and I read his (his is more interesting) and I admire him greatly. He lives in Phoenix and sometimes I worry that the heat there will fry his brains but so far he has proven to be a cool character.

Timothy Bonney is a Baptist (American) minister and a good friend. He writes a Masonic Blog called Freemasonry Resources. He does not post on other subjects on this blog but he does an excellent job explaining and commenting on the fraternity.

And finally the Papers of Robert G. Davis. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy this man's writings. Sometimes he writes about things other than Freemasonry but whatever he writes about it is always worth the read.

Now I am not going to expect that they follow all the rules but they are my choices and I stand by them. Now that wasn't really all that hard, was it. ARTYAL. Hugs, jcs
Is turnabout fair play? Kurt awarded me this with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek. (His right one I think,) - Click on the award to receive an explanation.

Bob Gave Me The Bird

Iowa's State Bird


The rules are, as always, may be obtained by clicking on the button at right.

Ten Word Challenge: fabulous, aristocrat, tricycle, soft summer breeze, cat litter, silver-tongued devil, curtain rod, lilacs, Abraham Lincoln, garbage can

And for the Mini Challenge: strangle-hold, revelation, dormancy, tripod, space cadet

Finding themselves without a butler the Salamander Sisters, Sallyie and Saydie decided that they would have to do some of their work themselves. Sallyie said, “Saydie, you empty the cat litter and I will dump these dead lilacs and then you can take out the garbage can. Oh and by the way, throw that picture of Abraham Lincoln in the trash also. Now that we are Democrats we won’t need it any more."

“Oh no,” said Saydie, “ Le'ts give it to Lavinia Ledbetter, the fabulous hostess, She is an aristocrat and should have a picture of our Log Cabin president in her home. And don’t worry that she will know about it. She is a real space cadet and any historical reference would be a revelation to her. Now I am going out to ride my tricycle (wisely saved from my childhood)."

A soft summer breeze stirred the curtain hanging from the silver curtain rod. Mr. Phrog came to the house and told the ladies that he now had a strangle-hold on the tripod dealership and if they wanted one they would have to go out on a date with him. Both sisters looked at him and suggested that he go freeze his head as he was obviously undergoing a period of dormancy and while he was normally a silver-tongued devil he had obviously lost it if he thought either one of them would go out with him. “After all,” they said. “You have Green Lips and are obviously diseased.”

And Next week's words are: handy, operation, gratitude, parallel bars, the color purple, manic depressive, Puget Sound, fragmentary, perpetual motion, secretive

And for the Mini Challenge: sympathetic, filet of sole, mysterious stranger, elephantine, music

Found for Fridays

Thanks to all who contributed. Enjoy!

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, “That’s quite a heavy drink. What’s the problem?”

After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, “I found my wife in bed with my best friend.”

‘Wow,” says the barkeep. “What did you do about it?” “I walked over to my wife, looked her in the eye, told her to pack her stuff, and get the hell out.”

“That makes sense,” remarks the barkeep…

“And, what about your best friend?”

“I looked him right in the eye and yelled, “Bad Dog!"

One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House an d spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

Jon Stewart's Answer To Larry King

In Larry King's interview with Jon Stewart, Larry brought up the subject of the Primaries and asked him if America was ready for a woman or a Black president.
Jon looked at him quizzically and said, "This is such a non-question. Did anyone ask us in 2000 if Americans were ready for a moron?"

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and He doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'There might be something extra in it for you,' says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.

The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'Governor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'

New Iowa Footwear

You can read the story of Christian the Lion here.

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Enjoy your day and remember to keep off the roads when riding someone elses bicycle!