Monday, August 31, 2009
Two impressive wading birds were enjoying the same wetland on Sunday, north west of Ames. The Great Egret, brilliantly white, perched atop a dead snag of a tree, and remained stationary all the time, while the Great Blue Heron chose to fly and move a bit farther way to be in his comfort zone. Both of the birds were impressive to study and photograph, and as if this was not enough there was a grouping of about five wild Trumpeter Swans also in the same pond....all Great birds coexisting together. Maybe there is a lesson here!!
This is not a state highway department issued stop sign! It was cleverly located on the grounds of a nearby church camp, and caught my eye. Of course they would want you to stop and proceed carefully so one would not bump into that barn and damage it!!!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I haven't felt much like blogging the last few days. The place is kind of empty and sad. It is part of the process we go through when we say good bye to a friend. I did watch part of the funeral of Teddy Kennedy. Just as I watched when they buried Jack and Robert. All three were hard to watch but as I said it is part of the process. I am so very grateful for all the messages which have been sent and the support for us. Some folks have written that they are still mourning their pets who died two or three years ago. All of us sort of bond together at times like this. We send each other virtual hugs and sometimes we cry together.
Jon calls his uncle (me) and wants to talk about Max. He figured out that Max was only 46 years old (dog - human years) - Murphy (his dog previous to Max) made it to 92. He is looking for another dog. I told him that he could get a puppy and keep it here. Max was a big Sheltie and that probably shortened his life span. He thinks he may want to get a collie. I saw a dog on the Hearts United Web Site named Trooper that I think I like. I don't think I am ready for another dog. Bailey might like one though. He wanders around looking for Max. I think he thinks Max is outside and wants to go outside looking for him.
Anyway I have not felt much like doing much of anything this week-end. I am going to be working at the Scottish Rite in Des Moines all week so that will limit my blogging. I will take my laptop with me so I can blog from there. They are filming a movie in the building so that might be interesting.
Jon is going to get digital picture frame to put some of Max's pictures in. His Birthday is Friday - I think I am paying the bill at Heartland for Max as his birthday present from me. Thanks for stopping by - I noticed that my poor little blog has passed the 97,000 mark. That is just awesome. Give yourselves Hugs. j
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
And this was written by a dear friend John Klaus.
After the Final Trip
Do not despair, my dearest friend.
That final office you performed
Could not extinguish this bright flame,
My fiercely burning, loving soul.
Yours was the power. You used it well.
An instant. Then the pain was gone.
Oh, dearest friend, my soul stayed there.
I heard your gentle words of love.
Do not grieve overmuch, my friend.
If bitter tears should dim your eyes,
I'll help to wipe that dew away,
I'll help replace it with a smile.
An ancient English legend tells
That animals, on Christmas Eve,
Precisely at the stroke of twelve,
Can speak as humans, and converse
Amongst themselves, or with mankind.
So, were it now that magic hour,
And I could speak my heart to you,
I'd give you this to understand:
The flesh you knew, it is no more.
My spirit, though, lives on in you.
If you should sense me close at hand,
Then you must know that I am there.
If, not rememb'ring I am gone,
You stretch your hand to stroke my head,
Then I am where I've always been,
Beside you, if not there in flesh.
And, should you see my lonely bed
Now empty, as it's never been
Through all the time I've spent with you,
Or come upon my well-used lead,
Or find my now-dry water bowl,
Or see the dish from which I ate,
And weep because my form is gone,
I am there, too, though I'm unseen.
I am not dead. My spirit lives
So long as you remember me.
Throughout your life I'll stay with you
As close as thought, or breath, or smile.
My most important job in life
Was giving you my deepest love.
That task is more important now.
I'm with you always, now as then.
Nor, when you, too, shall leave the earth,
Will I leave you alone in death.
My love transcends this mortal sphere,
And, when you die, we'll meet once more.
My spirit now is free to roam
Throughout the earth, the skies, the stars,
But I prefer to stay by you,
To live deep in your heart and mind.
My earthly body, true, is gone,
Returned to earth, from whence it came.
But my eternal body lives,
And loves, and waits for your embrace.
With all grief past, my dearest friend,
When we shall meet on distant shore,
We two, transfigured, young again,
Will cross the Rainbow Bridge to heaven.
So don't despair, my dearest friend!
Grieve briefly, and then live your life
Aware, and fully, to the end.
My life has surely showed you how.
Your ev'ry moment is a gift.
Take full advantage of each hour.
Yes! Live! Love! Share your many gifts!
And that, my friend, I learned from you!
Then, when you lay your burden down,
And when we two meet face-to-face,
Eternity we'll have to share!
My soul lives in your heart 'til then.
I've given all my heart to you,
My dearest friend. It's all I have.
Oh! Treat it gently! Hold it close!
And some day bring it back to me!
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd
done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you
forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never
put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside
on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a
tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,
taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied.. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
colors yet, so I decided to test her.. I would point out
something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
was always correct.. It was fun for me, so I continued. At
last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says
I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said,
"how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a
public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The
teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked..
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means
carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to
their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use
the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.
"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want
her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me
good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you
hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
A teacher was working with her students on flavors. She gave them several lifesavers and asked them to identify the flavors. The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God! They're ass-holes!"
The teacher had to leave the room !
Guy goes into a clothing store, tries on a new pair of pants. Tailor asks how they fit.
Man says, “Well, they kinda remind me of Trinity Church.”
Tailor says, “Trinity Church? How could pants remind you of Trinity Church?”
Man says, “Well, you know the ballroom in Trinity Church?”
Tailor thinks for a moment. Then he says, “There’s no ballroom in Trinity Church!”
Man says, “Same as these pants.”
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor ....... The manager of the produce department stumbled
unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well..
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store!
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
(You really are going to hate me for this one...)
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.
The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk, good old boy, from S. C., got out and watched the performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test."
Annoyed because she can't sleep, a woman goes to the vet to see if he can help with her dogs constant snoring. The vet tells her to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles.
"Yeah, right," she says.
That night, a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The woman tosses and turns and is unable to sleep. So, sge gets up and goes to the closet, grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed.
Later that night her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also worked on him and the woman sleeps soundly.
Later, during the night, her husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees the blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head, looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were or what we did, but we must have been bloody good at it - we took first and second place!"
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me.. I feel so alone. "
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?*"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?
by Grandmère Mimi
Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh:
His dizzy aunt ------------------------------------- Verti Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia -------------------- Yu Gogh
His magician uncle --------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin --------------------------------- A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother --------- Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach ----------------- Wells-far Gogh
The ballroom-dancing aunt -------------------------- Tang Gogh
The bird-lover uncle ------------------------------- Flaminn Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin ---------------------------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking --------------- Way-to Gogh
The little bouncy nephew --------------------------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco --------------------------- Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV ----- Winnie Bay Gogh
There ya Gogh!
Time to Gogh...........
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Jon took Max for a walk today. It wore Max out. He took a lot of pictures and I went through my computer and collected the others and Ginny sent some she had. If you click and go to the album you can see them larger or you can click here to be taken directly to the site.
I took this last night. I had to crop it so you would not see the wine bottles or the plant detritus on the floor.
Ruth posted this on her blog. She has been with us all the way with Max. it brought tears to my eyes. (By the way Ruth, did you know that was my mother's name. I am sure she is with us also)
We have been sitting here thinking about Max and how much he means to us. He ate a little Black Market Pizza that Jon had. That is the first food he has voluntarily eaten for at least two weeks.Ginny called and she is going through the same feelings we are. (and he ate a doggie treat that Jon had fed him)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
We have been in California. We flew out to visit an old girlfriend that I went to Jr. High school with in Ames.....she moved to California in 9th. grade. We lost touch for years----then re-connected with the Internet. We did see them about 3 or 4 years ago,when Robin lived in California for those 2 years. Anyway, she and her husband inherited a vacation home in Carmel. We stayed 5 days there. What a paradise! We had a great time!!! The California weather is so NEAT!!! No humidity!!!
Coming back to Germantown, we were in The San Jose airport....Jim went to the men's room. He came out and told me that there was a tiny baby mouse in back of the faucets in there,,,eating a candy bar wrapper and drinking the slopped over water up on the counter. I begged him to go back in and see if it was still there. He did, and it was. He brought it out and we put it in my carry-on cosmetic bag. We bought a salted nut roll and put a few nuts in there with it. Then we soaked a paper towel and put that in too, for him to suck on.
We had a layover in Las Vegas and we checked on him....He was fine. He made it all the way back....we flew in to Little Rock, and as soon as we landed, we started looking for a pet store. We flew out of Little Rock since it is so much cheaper than Memphis....We finally found a pet store, and the nice manager helped us get him all rigged up.
At first we thought that he would be nice in a hamster cage, but it didn't take long to figure out that he could get right through the bars!!! So we had to get a little plastic cage with the ventilation at the top. We got stuff for the bottom of the cage and ended up putting an empty toilet paper roll in it for him to go.
The man helped us rig up a watering device. He is sitting up here in his little cage on the desk near the computer. When we got him in San Jose, he must have been really dehydrated and starving, because he was so easy to pick up and then just stayed in your hand......Evidently he is feeling much better, because he jumps out of our hands now and runs as fast as any mouse you have ever seen!!!
We have done research on the Internet, and I guess if you get one before their eyes are open, they can become very, very tame. Well I can see, that is never going to happen with this little guy!!! His eyes were already open. So we will keep him until he is big and then most likely, let him go. We got a big fancy hamster cage with the wheel and all that, for when he gets bigger. We named him Jose. He is so cute!! About the size of half your thumb.
She sent the pictures with this note:
We went upstairs and proceeded to try to get him out of his cage for a photo op. He promptly bit me!!! The first time he has bitten anyone.....We got these two shots. That's about all we can do. It was quite a fiasco!!! He jumped and got away twice....we were chasing him all over the upstairs!!! Finally caught him in a guest bathroom. I'm sure he is exhausted after all that running! He is an ornery little stink-pot!!!
Then she also wrote this which is very comforting:
Now I want you to remember that animals don't ever even think about dying!!! So they don't worry like humans do. So Max is just like he is sleeping peacefully and not sick, is what I believe. You guys did the right thing! The true test of love, as far as I can see.
Jon was here when I got back from Des Moines and Max was sitting on the couch beside him. He is very regal and majestic. He knows that things aren't right but he is calm and quiet and this is a special time with him.
Memories of Max keep coming back to mind.
He was great with the people we visited twice a month at Northcrest. He was never aggressive with them, he jumped on their beds and they would laugh, pet him, share stories of their dogs. Remember how he "knew" where I was when you brought him to see me at the hospital after my accident? When I came home he always stayed close to me when I was having a rough day too.
I did take him down to the hospital after she had her accident and broke her back. Max had never been to a hospital before but he pulled the leash over to the elevator and walked ahead of me to her room. He is a very special dog and Jon is finding it very hard to give him up. Max is comfortable but sort of just lying around while Jon is at class. He drinks water from a dish with crushed ice and seems to like that.
Max was a barker and he would bark at me when I emptied the diswasher, and when I would get out of my chair and when the meter man came to read the meter or the boy came to mow the lawn. I find that no matter how annoying that was at the time I miss him barking at me. He was a lovely friend to have around the house and I am going to miss him a lot.
New York Times Obituary here.
Be sure to welcome Max when he gets there tomorrow.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
August 25, 2009
Contact: Kevin Stow
KEVIN STOW ANNOUNCES WRITE-IN BID FOR
AMES SCHOOL BOARD
Cites Need for More Choice in Candidates as Reason for Running
Ames, IA – Kevin Stow launched his write-in campaign today for election to the Ames Community School District board of directors. Stow believes the district must ensure fiscal responsibility while maintaining support for our teachers and being a strong partner in the Ames community.
“After running a hard fought campaign last year many community members have asked me to throw my name in the race again,” Stow said. “My commitment to this district has not waned, it is my hope that we support our teachers and administrators by being a board that has measurable goals and operates with a collaborative outlook.”
Stow leads the human resources and governance units of the Iowa State University Foundation. He currently serves on the board of trustees of the Ames Public Library and the Ames Public Library Foundation. Previously he served on the board of directors of the Greater Iowa Credit Union.
“As a human resources professional, I understand the role world class schools play in the quality of life in our community,” Stow said. “In order to attract families to grow the student population and grow the local economy, the board of directors must focus on student performance and the financial stability of the school district.”
Stow, a graduate of Iowa State University, and his family have lived in Ames since 1995. His wife, Shelley, is an educational assistant in the sixth grade at the Ames Middle School. The Stow’s have three children. Son, Kris, is a junior at Ames High; daughter, Betsy, is a freshman at Ames High; and other son, Kendall, is in eighth grade at the Ames Middle School.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
He spent a restful night and this morning he is watching Jon get ready to go to school. He is eating ice chips (that is the only thing he seems to like.)
I got Bailey in December but he was born on August 25. He is 14 today and is still going strong. I got him the same year my mother passed. He is a lot of company.
Jon brought Max over to bathe his hind quarters. He took him for a walk because he seemed to want to go on one. He is moving very slowly.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Max has four medicines which Jon will give him. But he said that while Max fell while going up three steps to the front of his house he also followed Jon up the stairs to the second floor. If he can just get him to start eating I think there may be improvement.
He also said that it may be a muscular disorder and they may know more when they get the test results back from ISU. Jon is back in classes starting today so he is doing this as well as working and going to school. Keep him in your thoughts also. He is a compassionate, caring guy and I feel for him. Thanks for listening.
Jon just called and said he still doesn't want to eat. He has some protein shake and stomache soother from Shacklee. He is interested and acts like he wants to go for a walk. He is drinking water. He may bring him over tonight and give him a bath. He is not shivering. .
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sam sent me this e-mail Since I have done nothing today but read The Last Ember by Daniel Levin, sit on the back porch and drink and then fix sweetcorn, fried green tomatoes a Bacon and tomato sammie and drink a little more I thought I should pass in on to you. Ejoy:
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer...have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer... worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer...eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer...use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer...can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer...drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer...use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer...check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected withAIDS.
I no longer...go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer...receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer...shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer...answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore, and Uzbekistan ....
(not to mention Urbandle)
I no longer...buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer...drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I did not see the Kevin Costner movie Swing Vote when it first came out. It is about a man in Texaco, New Mexico who gets to cast the deciding vote in the presidential election. Costner plays a man who is thrust into the national spotlight and is wooed by the two men running for president. I enjoyed it a lot but what resonated the most to me was in the final debate scene Costner tells the candidates -
We need someone who is bigger than their speeches. The kind of president we learned about in school and we still care. America needs a big thinker. you know, like a giant, really. Someone who has the good sense to get in front of our problems. Someone who has the wisdom to lead us to a place where we are at peace with ourselves and the world....
Then he reads a letter that asks a question "If we are the richest country in the world, how come so many of us can barely afford to live here?"
I think that it is a question that needs asking and I think it is time the politician got off their rhetoric and started performing. They need to forget about their corporate donors and start taking care of individuals and their families and do what is best for them. I read in blogs and know personally folks who are losing their homes. People who can barely make ends meet. People who work two or more jobs in order to have any kind of a living standard at all. And others have an excess and get millions of dollars of "bonus payments" and somehow I don't think it is fair. Anybody have an answer?
These are the Pizzas that Trevor and Mengmeng and I had for lunch at Black Market Pizza. They were wonderful. An Iowegian with the Deep dish cornmeal crust, an artichoke Pizza and Louie's Supreme with the Sweet Potato crust. Soooo very good.
The "kids" had to play the pinball machine. If you get a certain score you can get a free pizza.
Greg (one of the owners) had a birthday today (39 and holding) and his family came in to celebrate and have pizza with him.
We got him to come over and join us for awhile. This guy lives and breaths pizza and Trevor wanted to "pick his brains" - Greg is a Mason and we are trying to get his home lodge to help him finish up his degrees.
I have been "spoiled" for pizza by the pizzas I get up here. I am stuffed and ready for nap time.
I have not heard anything about Max. I hope he is getting better and thank you all for keeping him in your thoughts. Thanks for stopping by, Hugs. j