Thursday, September 30, 2010
Rachel's FES Fundraiser Event: "TIP NIGHT AT PIZZA RANCH"
WHEN: Monday, October 11th, from 4:45 pm-9:00 pm.
WHERE: Waukee Pizza Ranch Restaurant
How you can get involved:
- You can come and eat at the restaurant that evening and leave a "tip" that would go towards the FES bike
- Spread the news and bring family and friends
- or You can help us by working a shift that evening
- Shift work includes: buffing tables, filling napkin holders, sweep & mop & vacuum at the end of the evening
- If you are interested in helping that night, contact Carol Guttenfelder and she will set up the shift times
- Carol's number is 987-4244
Any way you choose to get involved, will really help!
What is the FES Bike?
- FES stands for Functional Electrical Stimulation, a rehabilitation technique whereby electrical current stimulates nerves to evoke muscle contractions.
- With the RT300, FES creates patterned movement of the arms or legs, enabling your muscles to work and perform active cycling even though you may have lost voluntary control of those muscles.
- This bike will help individuals who have had a stroke, Parkinson's Disease, MS, neuromuscular disease, spinal cord injury, etc...
As you can tell, this will help many of our friends at the YMCA Healthy Living Center.
Get in touch with Carol and sign up to get involved!
Thanks everyone and I'll see you there!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
|a copy of a press release from Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia issued last week, together with a citation from that college about our columnist, John Shelby Spong. We feel sure his readers would like to know about this honor bestowed on him.|
Bishop Spong's Portrait Placed in Hall of the Prophets at Morehouse College
In a moving ceremony in the Martin Luther King, Jr. Chapel at Morehouse College in Atlanta the recently commissioned portrait of John Shelby Spong was unveiled. This portrait of the retired Episcopal bishop, author and passionate advocate for human justice will hang permanently in the Hall of the Prophets of the King Chapel alongside Dr. King, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Thurgood Marshall, Andrew Young, Rosa Parks, Jimmy Carter and other civil rights leaders of recent history. The decision makers on the board of the King Chapel indicated that in their opinion Bishop Spong not only had been a long time opponent of racism, sexism, and anti-Semitism, but that he was the leading religious voice in America and around the world for ending the violence of homophobia. He has been, one of them commented, to the emancipation of homosexual people from the homophobic prejudice of the past what Martin Luther King, Jr. was to the emancipation of people of color from the racism of the past.
The portrait, painted by a local Atlanta artist, was unveiled by Dr. Robert M. Franklin, President of Morehouse College and the Rev. Dr. Lawrence Carter, Dean of the King Chapel. Bishop Spong, in Atlanta to deliver five lectures on "Building a New Christianity for a new World," was accompanied by his wife, Christine Mary Spong, and his daughter, Ellen Spong of Richmond, Virginia as well as by a host of friends.
A copy of the official citation follows.
Unveiling and Induction of his Oil Portrait into the Martin Luther King Jr. International Hall of Honor at Morehouse College, Atlanta, GA
September 19, 2010
by The Reverend Dean Lawrence Edward Carter Sr.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
"Eat" is the only word that, if you take the first letter and move it to the end, it spells its past tense, "ate"?
And if you rearrange the letters in "tea party Republicans," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Shut the fuck up you free- loading, progress-blocking, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, violent, hypocritical racist low information anti-intellectual douche bags, and deal with the fact that you nearly wrecked the country under Bush and that our president is black."
Isn't English the most interesting language?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Miles has decided that he is a lap dog. Fortunately my lap is large enough to hold this 80 pound puppy.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Happy Friday everyone.
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.
A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.
The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'
The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'
The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson!"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual.A group of ladies, who were in the same class at school, met up for a reunion every ten years.
When they were thirty they to the Ocean Grill because the waiters were so handsome and sexy.
When they were forty they went to the same restaurant because it was near to the weight loss clinic they all attended.
When they were fifty, again they chose the Ocean Grill as the view of the sea was unparalleled.
When they were sixty it had to be their old haunt because the menu had easily chewable dishes.
When they were seventy the Ocean Grill was ideal because of its wheelchair access.
For a couple years now I've been blaming this feeling on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 300 million. 167 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.
other goes to a family in Spain and name him Juan. Years
later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. She tells her husband that she wishes she
had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.'I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly.All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are for Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection -- either way we're getting screwed!' -- Bette Midler.w
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Republicans get their heads out of their asses!"
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, when then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
Taking Life By The Horns
An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"
The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."
So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long alligator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.
Just as the alligator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.
One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of
the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his
feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot
Thursday, September 23, 2010
" In a self-governing society, the only bulwark against the power of the state is the consent of the governed, and regarding the policies of the current government, the governed do not consent.An unchecked executive, a compliant legislature, and an overreaching judiciary have combined to thwart the will of the people and overturn their votes and their values, striking down long-standing laws and institutions and scorning the deepest beliefs of the American people.An arrogant and out-of-touch government of self-appointed elites makes decisions, issues mandates, and enacts laws without accepting or requesting the input of the many
...The American people are speaking out, demanding that we realign our country’s compass with its founding principles and apply those principles to solve our common problems for the common good
...We pledge to honor families, traditional marriage, life, and the private and faith-based organizations that form the core of our American values."
I will vote in this election and for the first time I will cast a ballot that is against as much as it is for. It is important for everyone to see that the Republican party put our country in this mess (under the "worst president ever") and they just want more of the same for themselves. They want that unchecked executive.... (Remember Free Speech Zones where anyone who objected to W an C had to go to protest...Remember the middle finger salute that Bush gave us as he drove by. Remember the signing statements that said I am not going to enforce this law or this part of the law?) -
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
An equinox occurs twice a year, when the tilt of the Earth's axis is inclined neither away from nor towards the Sun, the center of the Sun being in the same plane as the Earth'sequator. The term equinox can also be used in a broader sense, meaning the date when such a passage happens. The name "equinox" is derived from the Latin aequus (equal) andnox (night), because around the equinox, the night and day are approximately equally long. It may be better understood to mean that latitudes +L and -L north and south of the Equator experience nights of equal length.
I have to say that the Internets are wonderful. Because of them I have a Blogfriend in Arizona. I have never met him but I read his blog every day and he reads mine. I found another blog to read today through him and through that found a wonderful artist. Levi Kreis has become one of my new favorite artists. If you click on the link you will find a web site which plays his music. He had never popped up on my radar before. I also found that he has a Facebook page which he appears to update himself. Speaking of Facebook the title from this post came from Anne who used to live across the street from me when I lived on Southdale. (I still miss that house and neighborhood but the back yard here is better for the boys.) She put it up as her Facebook Status a few days early and now that we are actually there I thought I would use it.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
I know many of you will say “this is impossible.” Let me remind you: Congress has the lowest approval rating of any entity in Government. Now is the time when Americans will join together to reform Congress – the entity that represents us.
We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House. These people will become American heroes.
CONGRESSIONAL REFORM ACT OF 2010
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below:
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms
2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.
3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.
4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do.
5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.
7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people.
8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.
If you agree with the above, pass it on.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Some weeks ago I mentioned to one of our newest Masons that I felt one of the nicest things about Freemasonry was the cross generational aspect of the fraternity. Justin Dodge is 31 years old, Rollen Phillips is 91 and yet the two of them have formed a bond that is a pleasure to see. Justin wrote the paper nominating Rollen for the T. S. Parvin Award at Grand Lodge and the award was presented tonight. It is well deserving.
Most Worshipful Grand Master Craig C. Hummel, Rollen Phillips and Justin Dodge (I have never see a prouder expression on Justin's face and I will tell you that there were tears in his (and my) eyes when the award was presented.
T. S. Parvin came to Iowa as a handicapped young man, and became one of the best-known Masons in the world. He was the first Mason in Iowa to hold the office of Grand Secretary, Grand High Priest, Grand Master of the Council, Grand Commander, and Grand Recorder of the Grand Encampment (National). As founder of the Iowa Masonic Library and the State Library of Iowa, he left his mark on both Freemasonry and his adopted state. He was one of the founders of the Iowa State Education Association and served as its president.
The T. S. Parvin Award, established in 1982 by the Iowa Conference for Masonic Cooperation is presented annually to an Iowa Mason, who has not previously been honored by having been elected or appointed to a Grand office in any Masonic body. (Nor higher than the 32 degree in the Scottish Rite), and who best exemplifies the spirit of Masonry which was lived by our distinguished Brother who said, “I want to be remembered among Masons as one who gave the Fraternity the very best there was in him, not thinking of reward in dollars and cents.”
A committee composed of the Grand Master of Masons, Grand High Priest; Grand Master of the Council, Grand Commander, Sovereign Grand Inspector General 33o and Chairman of the Iowa Conference chose the recipient from nominations submitted from all parts of the state.
The recipients of the Award are listed below.
YEAR RECIPIENT LODGE NAME
1982 - J Kent Zickefoose, Capital Lodge No 110
1983 - Carl J Van Sickle, Otley Lodge No. 299
1984 - Stanley G Schreiber, Hiram of Tyre Lodge No. 203
1985 - C Warren Delk, Auburn Lodge No. 592
1986 - Donald R Hankens, Speculative Lodge No. 307
1987 - J Neil Chicken, Faith Lodge No. 179
1988 - Arthur D Alber, Southgate Lodge No. 657
1989 - Charles L Jones , Northern Light Lodge No. 266
1990 - Laurence E Kynett, Emulation Lodge No. 255
1991 - John W Mathes, Waveland Park Lodge No. 654
1992 - Delman L Bowers, Waterloo Lodge No. 105
1993 - Aaron L Lake, Davenport Lodge No. 37
1994 - Rex L Brammer , Mosaic Lodge No. 125
1995 - Paul K Mc Crea , Montague Lodge No. 117
1996 - Jerry F Monroe, Adel Lodge No. 80
1997 - George S Eichhorn, Acorn Lodge No. 601
1998 - Robert Lee Goeken, Grove Lodge No. 492
1999 -Howard H Geddes, Adel Lodge No. 80
2000 - Frank C. Osdoba, Twilight Lodge No. 329
2001 - Orrin J Oliver, Charity Lodge No. 197
2002 - Henry N Wallace, Mt. Olive Lodge No. 79
2003 - Melvin C Price, Kingston Lodge No. 676
2004 - Madison M Tomfeld, Herman Lodge No. 273
2005 - R. Wayne Stanfley, Dubuque Lodge No. 3,
Tri-State Morning Lodge No. 673,
Julien Lodge No. 551
2006 - Don Davis, Great Lights Lodge No. 181
2007 - Floyd W. Nesbit, Crest City Lodge #522
Vernon J. Van Sickle - Montague Lodge # 117 - Eldora
2008 - Glenn Lockhart, Signet Lodge No 264 - Carroll
2009 - Herbert Franklin Ramsey
Home Lodge # 370 & Capitol Lodge #110 - Des Moines
2010 - Rollen L. Phillips, Arcadia # 249 - Ames
Many years ago it way my honor to have a part in establishing this award. I am very proud to have done so. Not because of anything I did in starting the award but because of Thirty Masons who have been honored. Without the award they would still have been recognized by their Lodges but because of it they have been honored by all of the Masonic Bodies in Iowa and we can be proud of each of them and what they have accomplished for Masonry.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work.
When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
A tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so striking he decided he must have it.
He took it to the owner: “How much for the bronze rat?”
“$12 for the rat,$100 for the story,” said the owner.The tourist gave the man $12. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story.”As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he began walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.
He began to run toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the edge of the Bay, and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after it, and are all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop. “Ah ha,” said the owner, “you have come back for the story?”
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only $5,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new Models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $1,350,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1,300,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $25,000 if it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape. He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding - a reason I've never before heard - I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, despite having had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately for the blonde, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. Her head is battered against the ground, mere moments away from unconsciousness when...
Stan the Walmart manager runs out to shut the horse off.The first scientists who studied fog were mistified.
If you need help trying to make up your mind, try putting lip stick on your forehead.
traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in
Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out
of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.
Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we
Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the
mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing
at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.
Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water
before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The
vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on
and continues hissing at the nuns.
Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.
Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Now you're talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then
opens the window and shouts, Get the fuck off our car!