Saturday, August 19, 2017
Friday, August 18, 2017
Dr. P. Lumb, quite proud of his academic degrees in genetics, physics, and marine biology. For the past several years, he has been working on a potion that eliminates the aging process. Before he tests it on a human subject, he chooses to test it on an animal with the mental capacities closest to a person, and so picks a dolphin. Within a week, he acquired three such animals.
His experiment is halted through many unforeseen conflicts. First, spies from a rival cosmetic company break into the premises, ransack the lab, and attempt to remove the vital vial of vim and vigor from the vault, but failed. The second problem occurred in solving the first. The doctor cheaply invests in a security system, the King of the Jungle, "Dan the Lion". The reason for this feline's discount was due to his very long cat-naps, which were 10 hours long. The doctor plopped the cat in front of the door and kept him there.
Lastly, the dolphins, after several treatments of the solution, communicated that they were having a craving for large sea birds. Lumb, feeling this was not something to be ignored, ventured into the night, captured some seagulls, and returned to the lab.
He opened the door, stepped over Dan, and suddenly the lights were flicked on by gun-totting police officers, brandishing their weapons toward Lumb. He was arrested for..."transporting gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises."
Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the cupboard?
Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?
How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
Thursday, August 17, 2017
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"Elvis" redirects here. For other uses, see Elvis (disambiguation).
Presley in a publicity photograph for the 1957 film Jailhouse Rock
|Born||Elvis Aron Presley|
January 8, 1935
Tupelo, Mississippi, U.S.
|Died||August 16, 1977 (aged 42)|
Memphis, Tennessee, U.S.
|Cause of death||Heart attack|
Memphis, Tennessee, U.S.
|Occupation||Singer, songwriter, actor|
(m. 1967; div. 1973)
|Children||Lisa Marie Presley|
|Instruments||Vocals, guitar, piano|
Elvis Aaron Presley[a] (January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977) was an American singer-songwriter and actor. Regarded as one of the most significant cultural icons of the 20th century, he is often referred to as the "King of Rock and Roll" or simply "the King".
Presley was born in Tupelo, Mississippi, and relocated to Memphis, Tennessee with his family when he was 13 years old. His music career began there in 1954, when he recorded a song with producer Sam Phillips at Sun Records. Accompanied by guitarist Scotty Moore and bassist Bill Black, Presley was an early popularizer of rockabilly, an uptempo, backbeat-driven fusion of country music and rhythm and blues. RCA Victor acquired his contract in a deal arranged by Colonel Tom Parker, who managed the singer for more than two decades. Presley's first RCA single, "Heartbreak Hotel", was released in January 1956 and became a number-one hit in the United States. He was regarded as the leading figure of rock and roll after a series of successful network television appearances and chart-topping records. His energized interpretations of songs and sexually provocative performance style, combined with a singularly potent mix of influences across color lines that coincided with the dawn of the Civil Rights Movement, made him enormously popular—and controversial.
In November 1956, Presley made his film debut in Love Me Tender. In 1958, he was drafted into military service. He resumed his recording career two years later, producing some of his most commercially successful work before devoting much of the 1960s to making Hollywood films and their accompanying soundtrack albums, most of which were critically derided. In 1968, following a seven-year break from live performances, he returned to the stage in the acclaimed televised comeback special Elvis, which led to an extended Las Vegas concert residency and a string of highly profitable tours. In 1973, Presley featured in the first globally broadcast concert via satellite, Aloha from Hawaii. On August 16, 1977, he sustained a heart attack in the bathroom of his Graceland estate, and died as a result. His death came in the wake of many years of prescription drug abuse which lead to his poor health and death.
Presley is one of the most celebrated and influential musicians of the 20th century. Commercially successful in many genres, including pop, blues and gospel, he is one of the best-selling solo artists in the history of recorded music, with estimated record sales of around 600 million units worldwide. He won three Grammys, also receiving the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award at age 36, and has been inducted into multiple music halls of fame.