Friday, October 30, 2009


As always click on the button to see the guidelines. And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This week's Ten Word Challenge: plumber, autograph,
Florence Nightingale, a chill wind’s a blowing,
watering hole, sleek, triplets, backwards, surface
tension, parrot

And for the mini: Free estimates,French fries, carpet,
Braille, silver-tongued bandit

Phrog was a silver-tounged bandit, but that was
about it. He had studied Braille for two years but
just did not have the sensitivity needed to be able
to feel the bumps. It was like trying to read the
carpet while reading with fingers which were
greasy from eating French Fries. He had gotten
some free estimates about getting his fingers
sensitized but decided against it. After all,
he did not have much confidence in Joe
the plumber.

Joe was the only finger sensitizer he had ever met...
and Phrog just thought there was something shifty
about his claims.

He had met him at an autograph signing (although why Joe the plumber
wanted Phrog's autograph was beyond imagining.
The book was "A Chill Wind's A Blowing and was
about Phrog's experiences at
the desert watering hole.

It was a sleek retelling of his encounter with the
dragon triplets when he had studied
their backwards ways and the surface tension of the water
to help the magic parrot escape the trap the
dragons had him in.

Joe had mentioned that his job was finger
sensitizing and since Phrog wanted to be able to
read the Braille
edition of his book it seemed like they
would be made for each other.

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be:  Cute,
come with me to the Casba, bloodhound, respiration,
Facebook, Canada Geese, modern, gravity,
spider webs, sea shells
And for the mini: curiosity killed the cat, charming Victorian,
railroad tracks, tower, salt and pepper

Thursday's post on Friday

This is Denver. I stole the picture from a friend's facebook. 16 inches. The nice thing is that the snow will likely be gone by this time next week. He says the prediction is for 60 degrees on Monday.
This is Arcadia's newest Master Mason. Brother Jerod got his third degree last night and it was a very nice evening. Jerod is a nice additon to our Lodge.

I was going to put these up last night but when I got home from Lodge I sort of dozed off. Jon slept at his place last night so I had both "boys" in the bedroom with me. Miles can climb up on my bed and he did and laid himself out at my feet. No whining or anything. He is such a nice addition to the "family" I would like to meet Ginny's Liza. Wonder how she is doing??? - This afternoon and all day tomorrow I am at the Scottish Rite Reunion and the big Gala tomorrow night so blogging may be rather light. Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL Hugs. j

Found For Friday - Halloween Edition

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?

What is a vampire's favorite sport?

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..." behind him.

Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...
"BUMP... BUMP... BUMP..."

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him ....... faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him, however, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heals of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door.

Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything... all he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin... and... of course...

wait for it

It is Bad1

the coffin stops!

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
You lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask,"
And you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..."
And can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night,
You have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the
Neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go
Trick Or Treating...
1. You keep having to go home to pee.

No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.

What do goblins and ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ghost Toasties, Scream of Wheat, Pentagram Crackers with Poisenbury Jam and Brain Muffins

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid, Apple Spider and Bloody Marys.

What is the favorite food of mathematicians?
Pumpkin Pi

How can you make a Jack-o-lantern stop smoking?
Make him wear a pumpkin patch

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

Where do most werewolves live?
In HOWLlywood, California.

Where do most goblins live?
in North and South Scarolina.

Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station.

What do you call a little monsters parents?
Mummy and Deadly.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Old Jews Telling Jokes


When I came home from York Rite last evening my Cable/Internet/phone service was out. I was not forced to read as I had some things stored up on my DVR so I could watch things.

Miles was at Jon's all night and is still there. I slept until 9:35 this morning thank you Bailey for not needing to go out. Since then I have been catching up on e-mail and talking on the phone.

York Rite was good last night. We talked about a lot of things. I really like the fellows who are coming to the meeting. I have had a lot of conflicts lately and have not made the meetings. I will try to do better.

But that is why I was not here. I will try to put something up later but not promising anything as I have a lot to do. Perhaps after Lodge tonight.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I love my camera and a treat from Madpriest

I took this on the way to Des Moines tonight. Driving down the Interstate at (at least 70 mph) so of course I had to crop it because of the car window in the picture, but really it isn't too bad.
This is the moon and in the lower right had corner you can see Venus. Sexy Venus. I went to Des Moines to a reading of a play tonight and when I came out I looked up and this was the view. Now I have to say that it looked better outside the Unitarian Church but I am not unhappy with the picture. If my friend Bob had been there with his (expensive) camera it would have been a better picture.
I didn't do a good job with these because I was doing drive by shooting. But I kind of like the effect.
One thing I found out was that with the new iPhoto which I have I can do more with the pictures. This one was a little crooked but I was able to "fix" it and am pleased and then tonight when I was reading my blogs I opened up Madpriests' Blog Of Course I Could Be Wrong and found that he had take the picture of Miles and me from yesterday and added a "bubble" to it and gave me the best laugh of the month.
Boy Bishop Miles

My Aunt Jo who is in her 80's has become a Computer person. She has friend who live in Lake Como, Italy and they sent her a little movie which she sent on to me. Unfortunately since I upgraded (?) to Leopard I can't play those little movies so I had to go find it on You Tube and here it is:

Thanks for stopping by, . ARTYAL, Hugs j

A request from Dom

This from Dom Caristi, a professor (and former parent of my students) Pleas help. j

WCRD 91.3, Ball State's student-run radio station, is now among mtvU's TOP 5 college radio stations in the country!

Please help WCRD take the #1 spot! Voting is easy. It takes 5 seconds and just a click. Vote as many times as you would like through October 26.

1. Visit this website:
2. Locate the box for WCRD 91.3
3. Click VOTE

The best college radio station wins a Woodie Award from MTV and gains national exposure.

Please keep voting through November 18th. The winner will be announced on that day! Thanks for voting!

Listen to us online at

Tommy The Cat - From Old Jews Telling Jokes

Source if you can't get it to play

Miles on Monday

The Old Dog and the Young Dog
So, I am eating leftover Black Market Pizza (just as good cold as hot) and Himself decided that he wanted to join me. The Computer has a camera in it and it takes a pretty good picture. Jon and I are both calling him Wolf. Jon says the more the dog looks like a wolf the more intelligent he is. Miles is learning sit and drop and he runs and fetchs the ball and brings it back to Jon. Bailey tries to steal it and brings it back and throws it at me.

I have been some busy tonight. Dues for Arcadia Lodge are starting to come in and I am getting ready to process them. The 50-year cards are ready to send out tomorrow. Then I have several more to process. I am ready to go and will get them done tomorrow also.

I went to the grocery store tonight and everything had been changed around. I mean I found everything (except I forgot to purchase light bulbs) eventually. After I was all checked out and the clerk asked me "did you find everything?" (standard question) and I answered, "yes, eventually!" I noticed that they had little phamphlets by the check out station with a map showing where everything is now located.... Brilliant. I would have put them on a rack as you came in the front door so that they could actually be used. Duh!

Had an e-mail conversation with M. E. Tom Dean this morning. We both watched the Discovery Channel's program on the new Dan Brown book The Lost Symbol. I told him that after watching that I would answer the question "Which famous person of the past would you like to have dinner with?" by saying Albert Pike. He added Thomas Jefferson to the dinner party. Who would you invite?

Thanks for stopping by, ARTYAL - Hugs, j

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday, Sunday

I really don't have a thing to say today. I took this picture of my Black Market Pizza (Reuben) which I ate half of for supper. Jon took Miles to a family party today and so it was quiet around here. I read blogs and generally vegetated today. So instead of writing profound thoughts/bitching or Ranting I will just give you some "old" jokes.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied, "two years older than me."
 "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, isn't it? "  

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."  

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.  

I've sure gotten old!  I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; Can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore and can't remember if I'm 89 or 98. I've lost all my friends.  But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. 

 I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour but,   By the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.  

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 

 Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill in.  

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.  These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, " For fast relief."  


Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.  

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are! 

Always Remember this: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, *You grow old because you stop laughing.*

Thanks for stopping by, ARTYAL.  Hugs. j

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Violeta Urmana sings "O patria mia" from Verdi's Aida
Daniele Gatti conductor. Vienna State Opera. November, 2005

Well this is the singer and the same conductor but the screen you are watching it on is way smaller than the one I viewed it on today. For today, I watched Verdi"Aida on the big screen at the movie theater. The Metropolitan Opera performance was spectacular.
Violeta Urmana played the role of Aida and Dolora Zajick was her rival. Both women have awesome voices and played their parts to perfection. Johan Botha plays Radamès and he does have a marvelous voice.

The story is simple. Aida, the enslaved Ethiopian princess, with Amneris, the daughter of the Egyptian King, as her rival. She loves Radamès, commander of the Egyptian army who loves Aida and one thing leads to another and with jealousy and betrayal it has a tragic end. But that doesn't matter because we have just been treated to a rich, satisfying wonderful theater experience and I got popcorn to boot.

My favorite part of the Opera is the Grand March
Short Version

Long Version

Oh yes, One other thing. The scenery and the costumes are worth the price of admission ($20. for seniors) And Renée Fleming as the hostess and backstage guide/interviewer is another "plus" - I wonder if she is on Facebook?

If you want to see it you can go to the Encore presentation on November 11. (I am not sure that all theaters carry the Encore presentations.) And it might appear on the wonderful PBS station sometime. The next Met Opera Production is

Turandot – Giacomo Puccini

November 7, 2009
US Encore: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 (6:30 PM local time)
Expected Running time: 3 hours 21 minutes, 2 intermissions

I Recommend that You Read

by MadPriest

Since the time of Saint Paul the mission of the Church has been in error.

Read the rest here.

Finally, someome who "gets" what Jesus was really all about.

Friday, October 23, 2009


As always click on the button to see the guidelines. And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This week's Ten Word Challenge: Incensed, sidewinder, bogus, conniption, Haz-mat, conniving, customize, perforated, zeal, rolling off a log

And for the mini:
abstemious, chlorophyll, origami, cheerleader, dung beetle

Yes, Phrog was content. As content as a dung beetle on a pile of horse manure. He was the leader of the Salamanders. The Sisters had left for cheerleader, school and were taking origami101 and cheering everyone in their chlorophyll colored cheer-leader outfits They were leading an abstemious, life. They needed to do this as if they got drunk they were afraid that the dragons would come after them and would capture them and force them to dance the dance of the incensed, sidewinder. That was a bogus fear as the dragons would never do something like that. They would have a conniption fit before they would do something so "off the wall." Being gentle creatures they loved everyone.

The sisters, Sallyie and Saydie put their haz-mat suits on. They put their heads together (in a conniving manner) as they attempted to customize a response to Phrog. He seemed content but they knew he was headed straight for a perforated ulcer if he did not mitigate his zeal for rolling off a log and pretending that everything was fine...when it wasn't.

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: plumber, autograph,
Florence Nightengale, a chill wind’s a blowing,
watering hole, sleek, triplets, backwards, surface
tension, parrot

And for the mini: Free estimates,French fries, carpet,
Braille, silver-tongued bandit

Found For Friday

A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray . He tried it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the process, and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb. He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much. Still, after a while, Walter began to long for female companionship. His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan. He would get a couple of "ladies of the evening", shrink them down to Walter's size, and keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to reverse the process for all of them. The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young ladies, but it was more difficult than he had thought it would be. They were reluctant to travel all the way to the lab, but when the lab assistant offered to double their usual rate, they finally agreed. As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the shrinking ray. There was a flash of light, a puff of smoke, and, when the air cleared... the prostitutes were exactly the same size! "What's the big idea?" shrieked on of the women. Then, "Eek!" as she saw Walter scurrying across the floor. Rushing over, she squashed him flat with her shoe. Walter was dead. The experiment was ruined. And all because the lab assistant forgot... "You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em shrink."
A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in  his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk  reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus. The bus stops at the next stop.He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus. 
 Still the drunk man is fumbling in his pocket for change. The bus jerks  forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of  the bus once again. Next stop, the same thing happens. 
 In fact, every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front.  Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back. 
 A few stops later, the drunk starts to exit the bus from the front. "Hey," shouts the bus driver.... "You didn't pay your fare yet!"
 The drunk, still reeling, shouts back, "Why should I?!. . . I walked all the way!
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.   It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"   The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her*  daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.   The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.  The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Are not you paying attention to me?"   "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they had show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!" 

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

Kinda brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Email Password

A company is doing a security audit of a computer network. During the audit, they discover that that one employee, with the username "blonde," has a password that is "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy."

The security analyst approaches the user.

"Excuse me," he says. "Is your
username 'blonde'?"

"Yes, it is," she says.

"Do you mind if I ask you why you have such a ridiculously long password? Is it for security reasons?"

"No," the blond says. "That's not why."

"Well, why is it so long?"

"Because when we had to select a password, we were told that it had to be at least eight characters.

Mad Wife Disease        A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.     'What was that for?' he asked.       'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.     Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lo was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained. 'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation '     Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, 'What the hell was that for?'         She replied... 'Your horse called.' 
An Irish Priest was transferred to Texas .. Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.   He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a Jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.   He promptly called the local police station...... The conversation went                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         like this:   ''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''  ''And the best of the day te yerself.. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn."  Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''   There was dead silence on the line for a long moment..........  Then Father O'Malley then replied,.. ''Aye, "Tis certainly true.....But we  are also obliged to notify the next of Kin.'' 

Priceless Observations Department:

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain



Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint..

- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

Thanks to Tom, Kenju and Grandmere' Mimi for the jokes