...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732
Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
Robert Kennedy, South Africa 1966.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
I am very thankful for all of the blog readers and friends I have made through this blog. My computer is going to have to go into the shop because it is acting up. Hopefully it won't be too expensive but I may have to be off line starting sometime Tuesday. Happy New Year. Thanks for stopping by. ARTYAL. Always Remember That You Are Loved
Friday, December 30, 2011
A young man at a New Year’s party turned to his friend and asked him for a cigarette.
“I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” said his friend.
“I’m in the process of quitting,” the man replied, “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”“What’s phase one?’” asked his friend.
“I’ve quit buying.”
Why your bartender is better than your shrink
Ever since he was a child, George had a fear of someone hiding under his bed at night. He knew there was nobody under the bed, because he checked, every night. But he would spring awake every night in a panic, sweating, with a racing pulse. Finally, he decided that something needed to be done. So he went to his local shrink.
George told the shrink, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, cinfidently. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?" asked George.
"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," George said. (Hmmm, kinda ironic, since he couldn't sleep, but let's just call that a figure of speech.)
Six months later the doctor met George on the street. "Why didn't you come back to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well," answered George, "Eighty bucks a visit times three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup."
"Is that so!", snorted the shrink with more than a bit of attitude. "And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
George smirked and replied, "He told me to cut the legs off my bed!"
FORGET THE SHRINKS. HAVE A DRINK AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BARTENDER!
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his Wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that Menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly Wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I watched this show Tuesday Evening. for many years it is the one show I stay home for to watch live and it was a good thing I did because the record function on the machine didn't work. I was thrilled, excited, touched, entertained and enthralled for the two hours the show was on. Great artists and well worthy of the honors. I am glad I found this.... it wasn't shown on the TV show and I always like to see the events at the White House.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
This knight who had served Henry, Richard and King John of England had much more to accomplish according to the on-line investigation I had been doing.
So I was pleased to find that the second half of the story was told in another book. The Scarlet Lion picks up where The Greatest Knight leaves off and continues the story. And it is just as well told as the first book.
Elizabeth Chadwick tells the story from the standpoint of the women in the Earl's life. His wife the Countess who was his advisor, helper, confidant and deputy to run the estates when he was gone fighting. It paints a picture of life in the 1200's when the stability of the lives could very well be dependent upon the whim of one person. The king could make life easy or hard.
It was very enjoyable and I would recommend it to anyone who likes a good historical novel. Elizabeth is working on a novel of Eleanor of Aquitaine. I can't wait for it to come out.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
For those who can't make it to the Center they will go out and pick them up and bring them down and will also deliver meals. My job is to answer the phone in the office and call the orders downstairs to the delivery fellows. They brought me up a meal and it was more than I could eat but it was delicious.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. “Shhh!” Santa hissed. “Please be quiet!”
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”
None of the reindeer stepped forward.
Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”
Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do. He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…
Friday, December 23, 2011
This is the tale of the Crist family who worked at a zoo. Each year they claimed to be able to predict the overall mood of the year by watching the animals. In particular, the gnu’s who, if their ears were forward, predicted a successful, joyous year, but it their ears were laid back flat, predicted a sorrowful, disastrous year. One year it was young Mary’s turn to “survey” the animals and come up with the prediction. It was her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to check on the gnus. Well, she botched it, predicting a bad year, when in fact it was quite good. In explanation, the next winter solstice, the local newspaper ran the following headline: ... Mary Crist misses an happy gnu’s ear!
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I aredivorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".
"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".
Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".
She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Done! Not only are they're coming for Christmas - but they're paying their own way too."
During the offseason, Santa decided to try his hand at stand up comedy:
With all my expertise over the years I’ve learned some interesting things. For instance, if a bee and a doorbell get married, what kind of children to you think they’ll have? Humdingers!....And I’ve learned why penguins cross the road only halfway—they like to lay it on the line.....I deliver toys to a boy who parts his hair from ear to ear. Its a real problem—people keep whispering in his nose!
People always have questions about my reindeer. For instance, they want to know why reindeer wear bells. I tell them it’s because their horns don’t work.....Or they ask, “How much reindeer feed do you get for a quarter?” My answer: “None. Quarters don’t eat reindeer feed!”
Then there are the elves. One of the elves is great at magic. He walked around the corner and turned into an outhouse....One elf snored so loud he woke himself up. But then he solved the problem-- he started sleeping in the next room...
Everyone knows the elves are famous for the baths they take each year. But perhaps you don’t know what the first elf in the tub is called—he’s the ringleader.....We’ve got one elf who just hates to take baths. Once he got so dirty that when he finally took a bath he found some underwear he thought he’d lost three years before.
Everyone knows the part of the Christmas story where there was no room for Joseph and Mary at the Inn ... but what excuse could the Innkeeper have for turning away the pregnant mother of the Savior of the world?
10. Roman’s “Stay Free” promotion a bit too successful.
9. Wife said he couldn’t accept olive wood carvings as payment anymore.
8. Too busy getting new “Motel One” franchise going.7. Last pregnant lady riding a donkey took all their towels.
6. Filled up for the “Caesar Impersonators’” convention.
5. Didn’t accept the Judean Express Card.
4. Last room left was by the ice machine.
3. Nazareth Shriners tore up the place the night before.
2. Closed front desk early to take family to watch unique star.
1. No last names, no service.