...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732


Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
Robert Kennedy, South Africa 1966.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Neon Museum and Boneyard,

About ten miles north of the strip on Las Vegas Boulevard lies the Neon Museum Boneyard. It is a wonderful collection of old, tired, but distinctive signs from the casinos of times gone by. It was fun to visit and shoot...enjoy the nostalgia, texture, and color. One factoid I learned that the making of signs with lights, and neon in particular was a craft and art form, and as such the skills were often passed down to as many as three generations. Most of these signs and the ones that are lighting up the sky today, are not owned by the hotels or casinos, but rather the sign companies, who lease them to the property owners. After several years of leasing, the hotel may want a new sign, so what to do with the old ones?
Many were saved and stored and the biggest collection of them can be found here.
Enjoy..













Luxor in day and night.. by Bob Kelly

I am in Las Vegas to attend a week long experience and continuous learning sessions held at Photoshop World West, 2009. It is taking place at the Mandalay Bay, and I am staying in THE Hotel which is part of their property. Out of my window is one of the most eye catching hotels in my opinion, The Luxor. So here you see it in daylight, in night, and with the sunrise of the dawn. Enjoy!



Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Some Masons

Tonight I went to Des Moines for the Third Degree for Brother Glenn Clark. (That is him in the middle) Brother Clark's father is Mark and is the Master of Kadosh of the Des Moines Consistory this year. His maternal grandfather is on the right and I do know his name but am not sure how to spell it. Glenn is a student at Grinnel College. He has a Masonic lineage that goes back 5 generations on the maternal side and 4 generations on the paternal. I know many members of his family- I taught school with his aunt and have known his uncle for years. I like and admire them. They exemplify the type of person that belong to the fraternity.

I have heard a lot of people criticize our fraternity. Recently a person I recommended to join the fraternity withdrew in a very public way and was very critical of our Order. I don't really know what his problem is. Obviously we are not for him. I will not argue with him. The first thought I had today is on the blog below. I am not going to worry about him or the spiritual path he has taken. I am going to say this. All of the criticism that the anti-Masons throw our way is not valid. We do not worship the devil. The Masons I know and admire are some of the finest people I have ever met and I value my relationship with my Brothers. Yes, there are a few Masons who fall short of the ideal we all strive for but it is not for want of trying.

Like Glenn I have Masons on both sides of my family. My great grandfathers and my grandfathers were all Masons and my Mother was an Eastern Star. My Father is the only one who was not a Mason. Most of my friends are Masons and because I know the type of person who is a Mason I feel fairly close to them when I meet them. It is not something I will argue about. But I know that when I am with my Brothers I am in safe company.

Tonight I also took the picture below of another very fine Mason. The winner of the T.S. Parvin award at Grand Lodge this year. You can read about it below his picture.

The 2009 T. S. Parvin Award was given to
Herbert Franklin Ramsey
Home Lodge # 370 & Capitol Lodge #110 - Des Moines
Herb told me that they got him over to grand Lodge and his wife went along and he had no idea that he was getting the award. Congratulations Brother Herb.

The spirit of the award is described in the following paragraphs written by John Harris Watts, Grand Secretary Recorder of the Grand Chapter and Grand Council.

T. S. Parvin came to Iowa as a handicapped young man, and became one of the best-known Masons in the world. He was the first Mason in Iowa to hold the office of Grand Secretary, Grand High Priest, Grand Master of the Council, Grand Commander, and Grand Recorder of the Grand Encampment (National). As founder of the Iowa Masonic Library and the State Library of Iowa, he left his mark on both Freemasonry and his adopted state. He was one of the founders of the Iowa State Education Association and served as its president.

The T. S. Parvin Award, established in 1982 by the Iowa Conference for Masonic Cooperation is presented annually to an Iowa Mason, who has not previously been honored by having been elected or appointed to a Grand office in any Masonic body. (Nor higher than the 32 degree in the Scottish Rite), and who best exemplifies the spirit of Masonry which was lived by our distinguished Brother who said, “I want to be remembered among Masons as one who gave the Fraternity the very best there was in him, not thinking of reward in dollars and cents.”

A committee composed of the Grand Master of Masons, Grand High Priest; Grand Master of the Council, Grand Commander, Sovereign Grand Inspector General 33o and Chairman of the Iowa Conference chose the recipient from nominations submitted from all parts of the state.

The recipients of the Award are listed below.

YEAR RECIPIENT LODGE NAME
1982 - J Kent Zickefoose, Capital Lodge No 110
1983 - Carl J Van Sickle, Otley Lodge No. 299
1984 - Stanley G Schreiber, Hiram of Tyre Lodge No. 203
1985 - C Warren Delk, Auburn Lodge No. 592
1986 - Donald R Hankens, Speculative Lodge No. 307
1987 - J Neil Chicken, Faith Lodge No. 179
1988 - Arthur D Alber, Southgate Lodge No. 657
1989 - Charles L Jones , Northern Light Lodge No. 266
1990 - Laurence E Kynett, Emulation Lodge No. 255
1991 - John W Mathes, Waveland Park Lodge No. 654
1992 - Delman L Bowers, Waterloo Lodge No. 105
1993 - Aaron L Lake, Davenport Lodge No. 37
1994 - Rex L Brammer , Mosaic Lodge No. 125
1995 - Paul K Mc Crea , Montague Lodge No. 117
1996 - Jerry F Monroe, Adel Lodge No. 80
1997 - George S Eichhorn, Acorn Lodge No. 601
1998 - Robert Lee Goeken, Grove Lodge No. 492
1999 -Howard H Geddes, Adel Lodge No. 80
2000 - Frank C. Osdoba, Twilight Lodge No. 329
2001 - Orrin J Oliver, Charity Lodge No. 197
2002 - Henry N Wallace, Mt. Olive Lodge No. 79
2003 - Melvin C Price, Kingston Lodge No. 676
2004 - Madison M Tomfeld, Herman Lodge No. 273
2005 - R. Wayne Stanfley, Dubuque Lodge No. 3,
Tri-State Morning Lodge No. 673,
Julien Lodge No. 551
2006 - Don Davis, Great Lights Lodge No. 181
2007 - Floyd W. Nesbit, Crest City Lodge #522
Vernon J. Van Sickle - Montague Lodge # 117 - Eldora
2008 - Glenn Lockhart, Signet Lodge No 264 - Carroll
2009 - Herbert Franklin Ramsey
Home Lodge # 370 & Capitol Lodge #110 - Des Moines

Many years ago it way my honor to have a part in establishing this award. I am very proud to have done so. Not because of anything I did in starting the award but because of twenty-nine Masons who have been honored. Without the award they would still have been recognized by their Lodges but because of it they have been honored by all of the Masonic Bodies in Iowa and we can be proud of each of them and what they have accomplished for Masonry.

Thanks for stopping by.

First thought of the day

Be open to another's spirituality - Each in their own way worships only the One.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Breast Cancer Site

Each day I go to the Breast Cancer Site to click and give for free. Your click on the "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button helps fund free mammograms for women in need — low-income, inner-city and minority women whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited. Your click is paid for by site sponsors, and mammogram funding is provided to clinics throughout the U.S. through the efforts of the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

Fom there I also click on The Hunger Site, The Child Health Site, the Literacy Site, the Rainforest Site and the Animal Rescue Site. It takes less than two minutes and does so much good. Click on the picture above or the link above to be taken there so that you, too, can help;

Sunday, September 27, 2009

New TV Season


Yeah, I know Don, I shouldn't be interested in TV but I am and there is at least one new show I like. It is called FlashForward. It stars Joseph Fiennes and it is good drama. The entire premise is that the entire world (except for one person, subject Zero) flashes forward for about 2 minutes and 17 seconds.
This puzzling incident befalls all conscious citizens of the planet Earth. “Flash Forward” is based on a novel by the same name by Canadian Sci-Fi writer Robert J. Sawyer and describes the mayhem that ensues when several billion people suddenly go unconscious simultaneously for 2 minutes and have a vision of what they will be doing 6 months in the future. “Flash Forward” also stars Courtney Vance and John Cho (sulu!) More here.

Thanks to the magic of TiVo I was able to watch the show this afternoon when I finally finished my book. Yes I know I should have been writing three sets of minutes and processing dues checks but today was MY day. And I needed it.

Desparate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters started tonight. They are two of my favorites. I also sort of watched some of the comedy shows Cougar Town is kind of fun (Addendum: -it wasn't Cougar Town I had watched but another one of the same premise Older woman younger man - I just watched Cougar Town and the only thing it has going for it is that one of the actors from "my" soap is on it.) and I am really glad that the Big Bang Theory has returned. I hope they all have "staying power" - I won't be watching the "reality" shows they are too unreal. It is going to be interesting to see which shows make it and which don't. I kind of like "The Good Wife" but it is another "wronged wife struggling to make it with everybody against her and her husband trying to manipulate things from prison." Not sure it is going to make it or not. I most likely will go back to reading more and watching less. NCSI is back on and they now have a spin off set in LA. Not sure I am going to watch either of them. NCIS is going a bit off the wall for me and I am not sure I will care to watch it much more.

Perhaps it is just me, I am also getting tired of reading the Blogs, especially the political ones. It seems as if politicians make promises and then break them. Doesn't matter which party. Also I am getting turned off from some of the religious ones. There are some who are great and I never get tired of them but there are a few who seem to think that ... well I am not going to go there. I think perhaps that I need a blogbreak, But then I wonder what my blog friends have to say so I go read...and I enjoy it. Perhaps it is just time to let the political blogs go. I have been delisting some -one in particular, Oh I know what I need. I need to go to see a movie and eat some pop corn... Sometimes (Mr. Antrobus) you just have to go out to a movie... But there is only one of those coming up that I really want to see - November 20- The Blind Side. Enough grousing... I'm just babbling anyway. Thanks for stopping by ARTYAL, Hugs, j

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Just some pictures

The sky over Iowa at noon today.
Light my fire!


These are some photos I took today at yet another meeting. This is the third one in a row and I now have three sets of minutes to write. Miles kept me up until 2:00 AM last night and the phone woke me at 8:30, I am bushed and he is just getting active again at 11:57. I am off to bed and he had better sleep also - Thanks for stopping by. Hugs, j

Friday, September 25, 2009

A Short History


Specialis Procer Lodge #678
by Jay Cole Simser

I have been involved in many things Masonic over the years but starting a new Masonic Lodge has touched a lot of emotions. It started out with a conversation which Brother Kurt Hoffmann and I had about forming a group of Masons who would get together once in awhile to eat out and enjoy each other's company and discuss things Masonic.


We had heard about a new type of Lodge where the Stated Meetings were not the most important part of the life of the Lodge. Actually I think that Kurt took off on the idea that I had when I said, "Sometimes I just want to go out to eat and sit with my Brothers and talk about Masonry. I then told him a fun story about the "Secret Princes of the Hidden Temple" an on-going joke that some other Brothers and I had been trading back and forth since 1993. Kurt put the ideas together and along with the idea of an actual Lodge which would have an emphasis on education and learning.


Over time it grew to an idea that we could/should start a new Masonic Lodge. This is done by having at least 15 Master Masons petition the Grand Master for the right to form a Lodge. We discussed it with others and asked Brother Timothy Bonney into our planning. Brother Tim had recently moved here from Indiana and was interested and involved with this type of Lodge there. Both Tim and Kurt had similar ideas about what kind of things they would like to see happening in Masonry. An attempt, if you will, to restore some of the basic ideas that the first Lodges operated with. Something new, yet old. we call ourselves a “Restoration Lodge.”


The purpose of Specialis Procer Lodge is to bring solemnity to ritual, understanding of its meaning, education and understanding of the historical, philosophical, moral, and virtuous facets of Masonry; and brotherly love to its members.


I contacted Grand Lodge to find out what the procedure would be and we developed a list of Brothers we thought might be interested in joining such a Lodge. Because of the nature of the Lodge we chose the name Specialis Procer which is supposed to mean Secret Princes according to an on-line translator which Kurt found. It could also mean Noble Friend and some other things. We liked it, held our meeting and invited others to join us. Iowa requires 15 in order to start a new Lodge. We found the Brothers and contacted the (then) Grand Master Don Mosier who worked with us along with Grand Secretary William Crawford and we were granted a Dispensation to work.


Thus on July 7 of 2008 we became Specialis Procer Lodge Under Dispensation or S P U D as we lovingly refered to it. Tim Bonney was appointed the first Master of the Lodge, Kurt the Senior Warden and I am Secretary.


We have had a wonderful year. We raised Kurt's Brother (blood) as a courtesy for Gnemeth Lodge and also had a petitioner (and did all three degrees for him) and have seen several brothers affiliate with us including two Past Grand Masters. We have had short stated meetings which we hold only every other month and longer Festive Boards where we have a fine meal with wine and listen to a paper and have a discussion following. We publish our papers on a Blog called Scire Facias. http://specalisprocer.blogspot.com/ We have had our own members present papers and one of the papers has been made into a book which you can purchase on Amazon. (A Chronology of Masonic Degrees.)


It turns out that one of my good friends from church here in Ames has a son who lived in Indiana and he just happened to be the Master this year of Lodge Vitruvian I invited him to come to Lodge with me when he was here as he was moving to New Mexico (I had met him several times and read his blogs. So it was a real treat to have him at one of our meetings to tell us about his experience as Master of Vitruvian. It is not unusual for us to remain for at least two hours after a festive board in lively discussion of the ideas presented in the papers.


But more than anything we have bonded into a very special group of Brothers. At Grand Lodge in 2009 it was recommended that we receive our Charter. We will now be become Specialis Procer Lodge No 678. (Grand Lodge already uses the number for their records.)

The Lodge has grown over the year and most of our members are also members of other Lodges. But there is something very special about this little Lodge. One of the Brothers and I were talking about SPUD one day and we both agree that while we can't quite define it we both feel something extra special after we have been to Lodge at Specialis Procer.


One of our members could not be there tonight and he sent me the following e-mail

It saddens me that I will miss such a great event but at the same time I am incredibly joyful that this group will continue to exist and grow. I have had a wonderful time at all of the events so far and know that more are to come. Words can’t express how much I enjoy being a member of this group. Having a place to talk, eat, drink, and share stories the way Specialis Procer does is priceless and the knowledge that it will continue is a rock in storm of uncertainty.

The question of what Masons were is one that fascinates Masons and Non-Masons alike. Were they Knights Templar or were the stone masons? The question will probably never fully be answered and perhaps that is the point of such a question. The more important question is what Are Masons? What we are is the true question because what we were cannot be changed and what we will be depends on what we choose to Be today. That’s one thing that I love about this lodge. It started with an idea of what people wanted or wanted to be and to achieve that goal they created. This lodge is still in the birthing stage, in fact it could be said that getting a dispensation was like being pulled out of the womb and the reception of this charter tonight is the spank. We have just been awoken and given the gift of life. Of course what follows is a sentence saying something like “we now have the power to grow as we choose.” While this would fit in nicely it seems more appropriate to say that while this lodge grows and maintains a sense of mutual unity, may we each grow from one another and benefit from it.


I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER. Thanks to all who have had a part in the "birthing" of the Lodge and to the Grand Officers who came a little over a year ago to institute us and to the Grand Master Hummel and his corps of officers who came tonight and bestowed our Charter upon us and launched this endeavour.

Here is the slide show or click here to go to the Web Album


Wordzzle

As always click on the button to see the guidelines.
And don't forget to go to Raven's Nest to see all the others.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge is: Tibetan sky, symbols, won’t you come home Bill Baily, shadow figures, brain cortex, practice makes perfect, life, start of school, lavender, chow down

And for the mini: mental hospital, falling leaves, apple cider, packing crates, clues


Phrog was well aware that the treacherous dragons were planning to attack him and the Order of the Salamanders. The
clues
had been easy to read. Phrog was not about to give the Dragons the Sacred Hall of the Order of the Salamanders. The Dragons have threatened to make Phrog Pie out of us but you know it just is not going to work, Phrog had his minions go to the store room and get the packing crates out of storage. In them were the Books of Magic which LaGi had left behind when he went on the journey to find the finest apple cider in the world. He has been gone a long time but Phrog was not worried. He put out the word and the Sorcerers of the Salamanders all gathered to prepare to do battle with the Dragons.
It seems as if every year as the season of falling leaves comes around the dragons act as if they had escaped from the mental hospital (see picture)

The Dragons lawyer, Nerstorica Snodgrass, a lovely lady, (below) recommended that the foolish Dragons get tough with us. Poor thing she needs to chow down
on some lavender souffle and remember that it is the start of school and Phrog and the Order of the Salamanders are at their most powerful right now.



After all they have been practicing on their life magic all summer and practice makes perfect. The Dragons think they are bigger but the fact is that the brain cortex of all of the Salamanders is highly developed and they have brought the shadow figures out to defend them. They did it with the magic song Won’t you come home Bill Baily and the sacred symbols which they found in the sacred cave under the Tibetan sky. The symbols of power would destroy any dragon foolish enough to come near them There was no way those foolish dragons were going to win this encounter. After all the Phrog and the Salamanders had tossed them out once and they would never win the Shrine back. Dragon pot roast is very tasty and it would be ironic if Phrog's spell made the chief dragon use his own flames to toast his subjects so that the Phrog and the Salamanders could have it on the menu for the Banquet. Dragons are very large but they are mythical beasts and can be bested by the millions of Phrogs and Salamanders world wide. (The Order is everywhere) and they will never get us to court as we have the entire Supreme Court as members of the Order.

Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: family, cheese cake, 20 years ago, refrigerator, laugh and the world laughs with you, bath brush, zombies, African violets, butterflies, holding hands



And for the mini: monsters in the closet, roughly, bowling, menu, Pennsylvania


The Indispensable Man



(by Saxon White Kessinger)

Sometime when you're feeling important;
Sometime when your ego 's in bloom;
Sometime when you take it for granted,
You're the best qualified in the room:


Sometime when you feel that your going,
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions,
And see how they humble your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that's remaining,
Is a measure of how much you'll be missed.


You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop, and you'll find that in no time,
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example,
Is to do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man.

Found For Friday



One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. His response was a question: 'Where do you want to go?' 'I don't know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.'
Lewis Carroll
1864-1928, writer


The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! this American should
be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'I say, old boy, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?'

'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars..'

'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in
Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?'

'You dumber than buffalo poop. It means someone stole tent!'
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots
coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

The Talking Dog

by Grandmère Mimi
A guy is driving around the back woods of North Carolina and sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'TALKING DOG FOR SALE'

The man rings the bell and the owner of the house appears, telling him the dog is in the backyard. They both walk around to the backyard, and a nice looking Labrador retriever is sitting there, under a tree.

'Mind if I check him out?' the prospective buyer asks.

'Go right ahead,' answers the owner.

The man walks up to the dog tentatively. 'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the lab replies.

After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a talking dog, he says, 'So, what's your story?'

The dog looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. It was pretty funny to be doing that, but in reality I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? Are you nuts? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that.'

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't
have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven
are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are
only two minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory..
26... Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
I have kleptomania,
But when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory is not as sharp as it used
To be.

In just two days from now,
Tomorrow will be yesterday
A bartender is just a pharmacist
With a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Money isn't everything,
But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that
Occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
And Have a Great Week-end. (And thanks to all those who posted these or sent them so I could post them