An anthropologist is studying a primitive society in the middle of the jungle when he develops constipation. Finding he has run out of medicine for that particular type of dysfunction, he tells the medicine doctor of the tribe he is studying. The medicine man tells him not to worry; his people sometimes suffer from the same malady but they simply chew the leaves of a particular fern. The anthropologist, figuring that he has nothing to lose (the fern wasn't poisonous), decided to try this herbal medicine.
The next morning he bumps into the medicine man, who asks if everything came out all right. The anthropologist replied that ferns had, indeed, worked very well, adding, "With fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
When cannibals ate the missionary they got a taste of religion.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
'No change yet.'
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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