Found For Friday

  A mathematician and an engineer decided they’d take part in an experiment. They were both put in a room and at the other end was a naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said “Don’t you see? You’ll never get close enough to actually reach her.” The engineer replied, “So? I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes.”

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

I went to the dentist without lunch, and he gave me a plate.

When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.