A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love."
The old man replied, "I thought so ... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window ...they're choking my ducks!"
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out
how the Mercedes bends.
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period.
It marks the end of his sentence.
An unemployed logger is a would worker.
I write my name on the neck of my shirt so I have collar ID.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!
--Stephen Wright
I knew that girl was pregnant when she looked at me with fertilize.
Optometrists live long because they dilate.
Puns about monorails always make for decent one liners.
A pediatrician is a doctor of little patients.
When there are tears at a wedding there is also eye dew.
Farmer's have my grain headaches.
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