Found for Friday

 An anthropologist is studying a primitive society in the middle of the jungle when he develops constipation. Finding he has run out of medicine for that particular type of dysfunction, he tells the medicine doctor of the tribe he is studying. The medicine man tells him not to worry; his people sometimes suffer from the same malady but they simply chew the leaves of a particular fern. The anthropologist, figuring that he has nothing to lose (the fern wasn't poisonous), decided to try this herbal medicine.

The next morning he bumps into the medicine man, who asks if everything came out all right. The anthropologist replied that ferns had, indeed, worked very well, adding, "With fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

 

I once bought a pair of shoes. One day while wearing them,

I fell and broke my wrist. Some time later while wearing them,

I slipped, fell, and broke my knee.

Those shoes cost me an arm and a leg!

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye. 

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered. 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Police were called to a day care center where

a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.