Thanks, John.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Pond Critters
Bob sends along two more pictures. Did he find these critters out at a lake in rural Iowa? Or perhaps at a farm pond? No, they live in a pond in the center of Des Moines. South of the Des Moines Art Center is a pond and Bob visited them there. The Art Center is on my list of places to visit soon. It is a treasure. The fellow below is probably Mr. Phrog's Iowa Cousin - Pharley.
And this reminds me of a perfectly awful story - one that we told in high school and thought was so funny. My sense of humor has matured but I share it with you anyway (only because I found it on the Internets):
And this reminds me of a perfectly awful story - one that we told in high school and thought was so funny. My sense of humor has matured but I share it with you anyway (only because I found it on the Internets):
One day, a Rabbit, a Turtle, and a Buzzard were planning on starting a farm. The Turtle and Buzzard were digging holes, and they sent the Rabbit out to find horse manure, to fertilize the land. While the rabbit is out finding manure, the turtle and buzzard strike oil. They become instantly rich. When the rabbit returns, he sees a mansion. He rings the doorbell, and a butler answers. The rabbit says "where is the buzzard and the turtle?". The butler replies "Mr. BuzzARD is out by the yard, and Mr. TurtEL is out by the well." the rabbit says, " Tell Mr TurtEL who is out by the well, and Mr BuzzARD, whos out by the yard, that Mr. RabBIT is here with the sh*t!"
Wordzzle
This is the only on-going Blogthing I am participating in - No Ruby Tuesday, Skywatch Friday, etc. And today it really is on Saturday because of our Specialis Procer meeting yesterday. Not a great story this week. But next week's words look very interesting
And for the Mini Challenge: Ireland, mashed potatoes, book worm, fog horn, T.S. Eliot
Continued from here.
“I am not sure when you can meet her,” said Mr. Phrog. “She is very shy. I will be glad to introduce her to you if I can win the argument we are having about her needing to be less of a book worm and get out more.”
“Well,” said Sallyie, I know what I can give her for a gift. I have a beautiful first edition of T.S. Eliott published in Ireland, I know she would love that. Now I must get to work. I need to polish the furniture and then run to the silversmith to pick up my silver candlesticks. Do you think I should use the little red roadster to go or the limo?”
“Oh, take the roadster,” said her sister Saydie “I like to think of you streaking down the road. Oh and while you are out would you pick up some mashed potatoes and some buffalo wings for supper? If only you could go as the crow flies then you would be there and back in a flash."
“I imagine that can be arranged.” said Sallyie, “Now Phrog, I want to suggest that you take your honeymoon trip to Ireland. Come look at this photograph. We took it last year on our trip for the Order of Salamanders to look for an International Headquarters. It was so beautiful! We stood there on the coast and listened to the fog horn and drank Irish Whiskey. “
“Bushmills or Jamesons” asked the Phrog. “Oh never mind.” I don’t really enjoy either of them I much prefer Scotch. I am just a pencil pusher after all. Our taste are simple.”
With that he bowed to the girls, turned away from them and jumped in his Porsche and sped down the road. Off to meet Esmeralda for lunch at the Amphibian Alehouse..
"Well," said Saydie, "that was rather abrupt and rude. Perhaps he doesn't want us to meet her after all."
Next Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: ghastly, excrement, bill of sale, vague, thicket, precarious, life long ambition, gunnery sergeant, posthumous, bellowed
And for the Mini Challenge: lap of luxury, yellow-bellied sapsucker, quinine, generalization, abnormality
Our First Stated Meeting.
The Room was ready
The Bothers gathered
Greetings and friendly handshakes.
Pictures taken - The gavel sounded and the first stated meeting of Specialis Procer Lodge U.D. was held. Probably a record. Less than one hour.
Our Grand Master was in attendance. We all enjoyed having him with us and his remarks.
Then to Tursi's Latin King Restaurant for the Festive Board. Where we ate a wonderful meal, enjoyed great fellowship and listened to the first paper presented by Worshipful Master Brother Tim Bonney.
You can see the excitement and happiness on the Brothers faces. This is what our Lodge is all about.
What started as a discussion and plans for a dinner club has grown into Iowa's first "Restoration" Lodge. We feel like proud papa's. Now to see our "baby" grow and prosper.
It was an "overflow crowd" so Craig and I shared a booth.
It took a lot of work to get to this point. Now we need to work to continue to grow. We received two petitions at the meeting. Had a "Chain of Union" at the end of the meeting.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in Unity.
Thanks for stopping by. Remember you are loved. Hugs, j
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Found for Fridays
After going through a virus attack,
Losing a hard drive,
Fighting off hackers,
Upgrading all my software,
Installing fire-walls,
Being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider,
And a host of other problems...
I have fixed my computer.
NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!
A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears.
Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to New York and on west to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.
The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men.
They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists because they feared an international incident.
They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"
The other ranger responded, "The Czech is in the male."
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY….( as well as the
idiosyncrasies of English)
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR ……
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE
SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. If A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD “LISP” TO HAVE “S” IN IT?
25. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
26. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
27. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service
Enjoy your weekend. Remember it is nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice. Laugh long, loud and hard. It's good for the soul. Love someone, Hugs jcs
Losing a hard drive,
Fighting off hackers,
Upgrading all my software,
Installing fire-walls,
Being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider,
And a host of other problems...
I have fixed my computer.
NOW it works exactly the way I want it to!
A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears.Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to New York and on west to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.
The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men.
They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists because they feared an international incident.
They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"
The other ranger responded, "The Czech is in the male."
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY….( as well as theidiosyncrasies of English)
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR ……
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE
SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
7. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
15. If A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD “LISP” TO HAVE “S” IN IT?
25. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED “HEMORRHOIDS” INSTEAD OF “ASSTEROIDS”?
26. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?
27. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service
Enjoy your weekend. Remember it is nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice. Laugh long, loud and hard. It's good for the soul. Love someone, Hugs jcs
"This is the moment"
And he said"
People of the world - look at Berlin!
Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.
{...}
People of the world - look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.
{...}
But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more - not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.
{...}
That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another.
{...}
This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it.
{...}
This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations - including my own - will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.
{...} every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us - what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America's shores - is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.
{...}
People of Berlin - and people of the world - the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. With an eye toward the future, with resolve in our hearts, let us remember this history, and answer our destiny, and remake the world once again.Barak Obama
Read the entire text of his historic speech here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)