A Lesson for Sarah

First Sarah Palin on Paul Revere...

(Warning the British???)

Transcript
He who warned the, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms [she pronounces it "are arms"], by ringin' those bells and makin' sure he's ridin' his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free.

Oh Sarah! 

Actually everyone is somewhat wrong. (For saying that Paul Revere rode to Concord to warn the Colonists.)  A simple Google search shows that Paul Revere Never Finished His Ride... He was stopped and had to walk home.

We all know about Paul Revere's Ride, right? We all know about how Paul Revere rode from Lexington to Concord to warn the Americans that the British were coming. We all know about how he rode through the streets yelling, "The British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!"

We all know about it; yet it isn't true.

The truth is that Paul Revere never finished that ride that come to be named after him. Paul Revere was stopped by a British patrol on his way to Concord. He never made it!

In fact, he was riding with two other men, only one of whom succeeded in warning the Americans in Concord that the British were coming.

William Dawes also rode with Paul Revere that night. He, too, was stopped by a British patrol. He managed to escape, as did Dr. Samuel Prescott, the third rider.

Revere, meanwhile, didn't escape until much later, and without his horse. He walked back to Lexington and made it there in time to witness part of the battle on Lexington Green.

Dawes, meanwhile, got lost in the dark and never made it to Concord.

Only Dr. Samuel Prescott reached Concord, where he delivered the warning, "The British are Coming!" And when the British came to Concord, the Americans were ready.

The above is from Social Studies for Kids.  Kids, Sarah, kids...You missed out on it somewhere.

'nuff said

Found For Friday

An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a gorgeous young woman nearby.

He asked his trainer, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby"

WHERE is my  SUNDAY paper?!"
The  irate  customer calling the  newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where  her Sunday edition was.
"Madam",  said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday.  The Sunday paper is not delivered until  tomorrow, on  SUNDAY".
There  was quite a long pause on the other end of the  phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she  was heard to mutter, ..
 ..."Well,  shit, that explains why no one was at church  either

 A man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg".

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a superhero and the other is an instruction.

A man calls home to his wife and says,  "Honey, I've been invited to fly to Canada  with my boss and several of his friends to go fishing, for the long weekend.  This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a three-day weekend.  And also, would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?  We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I'll swing by the house to pick-up my things.  Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas. The wife thinks this sounds a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he returns home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good.  The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He  says,Yes!  Lots of walleyes, some bass, and a few pike. "But", he  said, "why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas, like I asked you to do? You'll love the answer. The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box". Never, Never, Never try to outsmart a woman!

 A frog goes for a loan. The loan agent was Ms. Patty Stack and she asked if he had collateral. He showed her something that, to her, looked like a marble and said "this is what I have for collateral". She took it to the bank president and said "this is what he has for collateral, what is it, and should I give him the loan"? The bank president said "why, that's a nic nac, Patty Stack; give that frog a loan"

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

 Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Definitions so good they should be in the dictionary

ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends

and is now growing in the middle. 

 BEAUTY PARLOR:

A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. 

 COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. 

DUST:

Mud with the juice squeezed out. 

EGOTIST:Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. 

HANDKERCHIEF:Cold Storage. 

INFLATION:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. 

MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better. 

RAISIN:A grape with a sunburn. 

SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time. 

SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. 

TOOTHACHE: 
The pain that drives you to extraction. 

TOMORROW:One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. 

YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed. 


And MY Personal Favorite!
WRINKLES:Something other people have, 
Similar to my character lines.

Thanks to all who shared jokes this week and especially to John who made the new Oatmeal poster. (I thin he gets tired of my repeats.)  Thanks for stopping by have a great week-end. j

Thoughtful

"Our conduct far too often contradicts our profession, however. We are supposed to proclaim the God of love, but we have been guilty as Christians of sowing hatred and suspicion; we commend the one whom we call the Prince of Peace, and yet as Christians we have fought more wars than we care to remember."

Desmond Tutu

From God is Not a Christian. 

Therapy

To  Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 

1.. In  the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
2. Order  a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with  a serious face. 
3. Specify  That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To  Go'. 
4. Sing Along At  The Opera. 
5. Five  Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend
Their Party  Because You have a  headache. 
6. When  Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking  lot,
Yelling 'Run  For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
7. Tell  Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The  Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You  Go.' 

And  The Final Way To  Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 
            
8. PICK UP A BOX  OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,
GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE  FITTING ROOM IS. 

The opera was long. 6:30 PM until 12:00 AM.  Those ladies could really sing (And also ride.)  My seat is sore and I was thankful to Don for sending me the above because I spent the afternoon rehooking up my Internets and then went to the opera and I am pooped tonight.  Thanks for stopping by and be sure to ask for Diet Water the next time a waiter asks you what you want to drink. Unless you are in Des Moines where the water is awful. 

Funny

My friend Dianne has a wonderful account of the meeting of S and The D over at her blog Forks Off the Moment.  Go here to read Media Whores Meet.

Damnit (and oh yes Rabbit, Rabbit, White Rabbit)

Most shoulder problems fall into four major categories:

• Tendon inflammation (bursitis or tendinitis) or tendon tear
• Instability
• Arthritis
• Fracture (broken bone)

Followers of this blog will know that I recently had a fall.  You may also know that I have been having pain in my arm and shoulder.  And that I had an MRI. (shouldn't that be "a MRI"?  "an" sounds better in my head) - Tuesday I went to see my Dr. to find out what was happening.  I seem to have major arthritis not only is the rotator cuff involved but the ball and socket joint is deteriorating.  I also have some pulled tendons from the fall.  So the saga continues with a trip to the Orthopedist to see what he can do and physical therapy.  Such fun getting old.  So it still hurts to type and I don't much feel like commenting on anything.  So enjoy this cartoon which is too good to wait until Friday and thanks for stopping by.