Found For Friday

Blondes to the moon

At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars". The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun". One of the reporters says "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?" The Blondes say "NO WE WON'T; WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"

 Training the blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

 Ellisville, Mississippi,
April 12, 2012.
An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

 "Morning Sex"

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks,"and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

 THE FISHERMAN

A fisherman just off the lake stopped at the grocery store and asked the merchant behind the fish counter, "I'd like to take some fish home with me. Can you make them look like they are freshly caught?"

"How many?" the merchant asked.

"Three or four--perch let's say. You know a decent amount without seeming to exaggerate," said the fisherman.

"You should take trout instead" the merchant responded. "

Why is that?" the fisherman asked.

"No reason really", The merchant responded, "except your wife was by earlier and said if you came by that I should recommend trout. It's her favorite."

 Reasons to stay at work all night

1. Act out your version of a company takeover.

2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".

3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.

4. Sneaking in the boss's desk could land you an unexpected promotion.

5. Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out "what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art".

6. Go into the other gender's bathroom without fear of being caught.

 7. Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will come so you can have someone to talk to.

8. Leave prank messages on the CEO's voice mail.

9. Finally, a chance to live out a dream and pretend to be your boss.

10. Elevator surfing!

Have a great week-end!

Water Lillies….Beautiful Simplicity! - Photos by Bob Kelly

Few flowers are more beautiful, peaceful, and simplistic than water lillies.  Enjoy their colors, textures, reflections, and small critters that also like to visit them!  You can see these lovely scenes at Reiman Gardens, on the campus of Iowa State University, in Ames, Iowa……come visit and be enthralled!

Clarence and Sadie Cole and their daughters, Sis, JoAnn,(back row) Fran, Ruth, Jean and Ellen.

My sister has just completed a monumental task.  In 1972 we decided to gather recipes from my mother and her sisters and the rest of the family.  I spent a lot of time typing the original cookbook on spirit duplicator paper (remember the old purple worksheets you got in school)  One or two per page. I got a lot of card stock and went back to school evenings to run them off.  Three hole punched in notebooks and they were ready for gifts. Ginny tells the story in the introduction to the cookbook she has just finished.

In 1972 Jay and I decided to make a family cookbook. We asked the aunts to give us recipes and all of us kept it a secret from the rest of the family. We had a lot of fun making the cookbook and thinking of the future reactions of our cousins when they opened them. Jan Read was in Germany with her husband and they decided they could each open one gift Christmas Eve. She chose the cookbook and told us later that it was filled with sweet memories and she couldn’t wait to cook the cherished recipes of “Ma”.

         I was only 8 years old when “Ma” died but I too remember her cooking.  Granddad said that whenever “Ma” was upset; she would be found cooking something. He kiddingly said that when he was hungry for some of her baked goods; he would say something to her to “set her off”. I have said that Jay was raised on “Ma’s” cooking and I was raised on mom’s. Mom worked as a secretary for Doane Agricultural Service and came home tired each night from work. In effect I ate whatever she could toss on the table in 30 minutes. This in the days before microwaves existed. She was a wizard when it came to candy making though.

         Due to the expansion of the Cole family I felt it was time to update the cookbook. I asked the family for recipes and I received many responses.  I have added recipes found in local cookbooks they had sent recipes to along with many of mine for my son.

         Our Cole family started from the love of Clarence Gordon Cole and Sadie Underwood. Ma and Granddad would be amazed what their descendants have accomplished. I believe we inherited our inner strength, perseverance, love of animals, nature, and stubbornness from them.                                         

Ginny Jackson, 2012                          

The cousins have all grown up and gotten married and had children of their own. the family has enlarged. The family cookbook has been handed down in some cases and lost in others but there was a lot of desire on the part of the family to have it.  Ginny decided to do something about that.

She found a computer program and began to type the new version of the cookbook.  As she said she has enlarged it to the point that there are 397 pages.  It has a Table of Contents and an Index.  There are dishes in there that I remember from my grandmother's cooking and others that I have never heard of. One of them was :

Potatoes "Mrs. Dickey's"

5-6   medium  Potatoes, chopped ¼    cup         Butter ¼    cup         Flour ½    tsp         Salt 1     tsp         Prepared mustard

1/8  tsp     Black pepper 2     cups   Milk 1     T      Prepared horseradish 3½  cups   Cheese, grated

Procedure

1   In large bowl, mix all the ingredients.

2   Place in greased baking dish.

3   Bake.

Oven Temperature: 350°F

Cooking Time: 30 minutes

Author: Mrs. Dickey

Source: Ruth Cole Jackson

Mother contributed this recipe to the cookbook.  I think Mrs. Dickey was a friend of my grandmothers.

Anyway the cookbook is all finished and Ginny had one copy printed.  It cost her $40. to get it done.  So she can't afford to give them away. (She has a minimum wage job and is in a wheelchair).  But it is done and she is getting some printed for those of the family who will pay for it.  We can't either of us afford to give them as gifts this time around.  The Cookbook is really nice.  I sent her my check so I will have a copy.  

I am really proud of her for doing this.  

A Stately Cottonwood Keeps Watch - Photo by Bob Kelly

This rather old and stately Cottonwood tree, is a sentinel of time, standing guard among the corn fields on either side of the quiet and isolated Iowa gravel road.

Farmers Outstanding in Their Field - Photo by Bob Kelly

These farmers are looking over their corn, pointing to an area of better moisture, and in general hoping for a good yield.  The only thing unusual about all this, is the farmers are about 30 feet tall, and are cut out, stand up signs in the middle of a corn field!  There are no words or phrases here at all, so who put it here, why, and how….for the time being are all unanswered.  For Ames locals, it is about one mile south of the intersection of highway 30 and I-35, and on the right side (west) of the south bound lane.

August

Rabbit, Rabbit!


It is  August.  I used to hate August because it meant that the summer was almost over.  I always enjoyed getting ready for a new school year and sometimes I still have dreams (8 years later) about getting the classroom ready for the new School Year and planning the things we would do and looking over the kids who would be coming to the classroom.  It also meant that we might get a chance to go to the State Fair and sometimes we went to Leech Lake the last of July or the first of August.  You would have to ask Ginny about that.  She has a better memory storage system than I do.


Friend John likes to play around with the computer and this is the result.  I love it.  The kids have a pattern now.  They sleep a lot but in the evening they get active and like to play around.

Molly jumped up on my lap tonight without being invited. Just decided she wanted to get away from Miles pestering her.  She is such a love. Climbed up and snuggled for awhile and then got back down.

Eventually they go outside for the evening business and then come back in for treats and then they will settle down.  Molly will miss him and so will I. 

In the morning they want to eat each other's food.  I give Molly Taste of the Wild and Jon gives Miles IAms.  I have to sit between them and keep them apart while they eat.  

I usually have toast with Greek Honey mixed with Ceylon Cinnamon on it.  It is really good and my friend Su had a piece on her Facebook that it would help with arthritis.  I don't know if it does but I really like it for breaking my fast.

The Queen would never do this but I feel that way about the coverage of the Olympics. I had forgotten how obnoxious it is to break away to Ryan Seacrist (sp?) interviewing Michael Phelps and the fluff stuff from Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira and the incessant talking that goes on (I have to watch with the mute on.) and the endless commercials.  Anyway it is easier to read and just have the picture on. (Click on the link to read Slate's take on Matt and Meredith.)

I found a new blog.  Harper's Valley.  Harper is a lovely dog who lives in Arizona. His "Keeper" put together a nice blog/web site.  He left a comment on my blog and that is how I found him.  I enjoyed his writing and recommend it to you.

Happy Wednesday!  Hugs, j.