A guy was taking his girlfriend to prom. Getting ready, he went to a tux rental shop. There was a huge line but he eventually got his tuxedo.
He then went to the florist. Again, there was a huge line, but he got the orchid in the end.
Then he went to the limo rental place, and there was a big line there too! But he eventually managed to rent one.
They got to the prom and danced for a little bit, and then his girlfriend asked for some punch.
He went to get it – but there was no punch line.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
A sheep owner who sold his flock for too little was told: "ewe were fleeced."
To whoever took my Microsoft Office: I will find you.
You have my Word.
Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office every day, I am no longer a slacker.
My calendar's days are numbered.
Long lines at fast food joints cause wait gain.
How does a mermaid give birth, you ask?
By sea-section.
Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no matches or cigarettes or anything to light them with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I went to the worst zoo. It had only one animal. It was a shih tzu.
Some bankers are generous to a vault.
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