Friday, February 28, 2014

Found For Friday



JEWISH RYE BREAD

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies. You'll feel like 40 again!"

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any Jewish rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."

She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard.

He replied, "Damn! I can't believe everybody knows about this but me."


 When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

 A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.



 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.



 The batteries were given out free of charge.


A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


To stay fit the priest exorcises. 


 When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.



Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

 .. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end


No comments: