An anthropologist is studying a primitive society in the middle of the jungle when he develops constipation. Finding he has run out of medicine for that particular type of dysfunction, he tells the medicine doctor of the tribe he is studying. The medicine man tells him not to worry; his people sometimes suffer from the same malady but they simply chew the leaves of a particular fern. The anthropologist, figuring that he has nothing to lose (the fern wasn't poisonous), decided to try this herbal medicine.
The next morning he bumps into the medicine man, who asks if everything came out all right. The anthropologist replied that ferns had, indeed, worked very well, adding, "With fronds like these, who needs enemas?
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten
minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet!
The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ...
now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
I smile because you are my sister-in-law and laugh because you married my brother!
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
No comments:
Post a Comment