Found For Friday

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the

Husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know.

In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you."Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason."

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. "Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

Martha replied, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."

"All right," Martha said. "So, do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

Don't disturb anyone working on a puzzle or you may get some cross words.

The recent windstorm through the trees was an absolute debarkle.

His wife loved pottery making but for him it was just kiln time.

Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck.

The church insisted on a new seminary graduate. They were looking for greener pastors.

I held the door for a clown the other day, it was a nice jester.

He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

I asked a librarian if she was free this afternoon, she said she was all booked up.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.