A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.
As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!"
She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment. A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst
There was a Scottish King who didn’t love sheep. He was labeled a Ewe-shirker.
What did the Scottish dwarf have under his garments? Rumpled kilt skin
I was mocked for being insufficiently Scottish. They actually threatened to have me kilt.
My Scottish friend complained that his sheep orgy was broken up by the cops. I consoled him saying “I feel four ewes.”
Anyone who forces me to wear a kilt should be tartan fettered.
The Scotsman went to Kiev. He heard it was easier to pick up a lover in the Ewekraine.
Is it true Dutch people get aroused when visiting Scotland?
Yes, they’re like clogs in heath!
Hear about the Scotsman who enjoyed bondage? He lived in ram shackle housing.
Being Scottish is an addiction. It’s quite haggis-forming.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.
What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat?
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