Friday, August 4, 2017

Found For Friday


The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

The only place for diginity in defeat is at the shoe store.

This beautiful Dalmatian was reported lost, but his owners called off the search because he was spotted.

My friend told me that O.J. is free now. He's wrong.

The grocery store still charged me $2.99

A banana went in to see a doctor. The doctor asked the banana what brought him in to the office.

The banana replied, "I'm not peeling well."


Wisdom of the day: When you have seen one shopping center, you have seen a mall.

The ham was melting. The turkey was suspended in mid-air. And the salami was hatching out of an egg.

That is the last time I go to the Salvador Deli....

What did the grape say when he got stepped on ? Nothin, he just let a little wine out

Why was the baby strawberry so sad?........
because Mom and Dad were in a Jam

Saw a guy standing next to a rabbit.

Realized he had hare down below his knees.

I asked the builder for a fancy design on our steps.

He just gave me a blank stair.

I was arrested for annoying my neighbors by singing endless Engelbert Humperdinck songs.

Finally, "Police released me, let me go."

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