Found For Friday

Excellent Parenting A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father  said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades  up from a C to a B average, study your Bible  and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades   up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said,  "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had  long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." I  Love the Dad's reply! "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?" Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator? If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around? In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"? At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours? I just had a major operation on my funny bone... My doctor said I'll be in stitches for weeks.   Shampoo: Because we couldn't get any real poo. Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eyes, but whenever something gets into my eye, it's usually an eyelash. It's Eyeronic. Two crooks bought a hotel. They were innmates.

I dreamed I wrote the Lord of the Rings books.

Gwen said I was just Tolkien in my sleep.

The debate about unmanned aircraft strikes just keeps droning on.

I know a government employee in Spain.

He's a Seville servant.

An auction at a funeral parlor is more-bid.

I kept trying, but I couldn't figure out how to work my seat belt.

All of a sudden it clicked!