A man who went to church with his wife,
always fell asleep during the sermon.
The wife decided to do something about this
and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke
him with it every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where
he shouted out "....and who created all there is in 6 days
and rested on the 7th.." she poked her husband
who came flying out of the pew and screamed,
"Good God almighty!".
always fell asleep during the sermon.
The wife decided to do something about this
and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke
him with it every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where
he shouted out "....and who created all there is in 6 days
and rested on the 7th.." she poked her husband
who came flying out of the pew and screamed,
"Good God almighty!".
The minister said "That's right, that's right."
and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down,
muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again.
Just when the minister got to ".... and who died on the cross
to save us from our sins....." the wife hit him again
and he jumped up and shouted, "Jesus Christ". The minister said,
"that's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down,
muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again.
Just when the minister got to ".... and who died on the cross
to save us from our sins....." the wife hit him again
and he jumped up and shouted, "Jesus Christ". The minister said,
"that's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife
and when the minister got to " .... and what did Eve say
to Adam after the birth of their second child?"
the wife started to poke the husband again, but he
jumped up and said, "If you stick that damn thing in me again,
I'll break it off!"
and when the minister got to " .... and what did Eve say
to Adam after the birth of their second child?"
the wife started to poke the husband again, but he
jumped up and said, "If you stick that damn thing in me again,
I'll break it off!"
My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned … I couldn’t concentrate .
Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?
A man goes to a costume party with nothing
but a naked woman on his back.
"What are you supposed to be, then?" the confused host asks.
"I'm a turtle," the man replies.
"What a load of rubbish!" the host says.
"How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that
naked woman on your back?"
"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"
I told my wife we could either have sex or go and see the new movie.
She said she was on her period and the new movie was sold out.
But she pulled some strings and got me in.
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
Why was the little ink drop crying?
Because his mother was in the pen and
he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
What do you call children who are born in a whorehouse?
Brothel sprouts.
Where do robots go for fun?
The Circuits.
I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing "
dDanger Zone" six times in a row.
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.
I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Someone was killed with a starting pistol today.
Police think it may be race-related.
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