Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.
Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself! this is going to hurt!!!
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
Sounds to me like she's....
....been....sweeping around!!!
PARAPROSDOKIANS ... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency,
notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Where there's a will, there are relatives.
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