Happy Hump Day

BAKED STUFFED TURKEY FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Ingredients

·      One 15-18 lb. turkey, thawed out (this could take a couple of days)

·      8 lb. or so butter, melted

·      2-3 bags stuffing mix (Pepperidge Farm is good)

·      6 lb. unpopped popcorn (Orville Redenbacher’s Low-Fat)

·      Some celery and a 4 or 5 onions (peeled—or at least washed—is probably better)

·      Salt and pepper

·      A clean paintbrush

·      A big baking pan

·      The landing net from your boat

Directions

1.     Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

2.     Pull the neck and the gross brown things out of the turkey. If you’re lucky they’re in a little bag.  TOSS those ugly things!

3.     Using the paintbrush, brush the turkey well with melted butter but don’t throw out the extra butter.

4.     Sprinkle salt and pepper all over the turkey.  Make a little game of it.

5.     Mix the remaining melted butter with the stuffing and the popcorn. A dish-pan works well for this.

6.     Fill the cavity of the turkey with stuffing and popcorn. Cram the celery and onions in there too.

7.     Place the turkey on its back in the big baking pan.

8.     Put the whole thing in the oven, and bake for an hour or so.

9.     Open the oven, and turn the turkey so that the neck end faces the oven door.

10.  Crank the oven temperature to 550 degrees.

11.  Listen carefully for popping sounds. When they’re really loud, get ready!

12.  When the popcorn blows the oven door open and the turkey flies around the room, it’s done.

13.  Catch the turkey in mid-air with the landing net (that’s the fun part!). Watch out for flying onions!

14.  Turn off the oven so you don’t set the house on fire.

15.  Serve the turkey for dinner, and save the popcorn to eat during the football game.

16.  Somebody else will be tickled to make the potatoes and gravy, cranberries, vegetables, rolls, and punkin pie.

17.  Be sure to make a video of the whole process, particularly #11, #12, and #13. Post it on YouTube.

And you thought I couldn't cook!