Found For Friday

 A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. A stunned patron then asks the waiter, "What was that all about?" The waiter responded, "That's just the way pandas are," and walked away. Well, the patron didn't know what a panda was, so at home that night he looks up "panda" in the dictionary and what he finds explained everything: "Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

The visitor was always the first to arrive because he did not want to be second guest by anyone.

The truly enlightened have homes with two Karma garages.

Does my great new smile denture ego?

When those around King Arthur's table had insomnia, there were a lot of sleepless knights.

Vinyl records are really groovy.

People might think I'm a bit of a square, but that just means I'm exactly right on every angle.