The policeman pulled her over, walked up to the car and, with a patronising
smirk, asked, “What’s your hurry?”
She replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yeah,” said the policeman, “what do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher” she responded.
The policeman replied Incredulously, “A what?”
“A rectum stretcher," the woman insisted.
“And just what exactly does a rectum stretcher do?” asks the policeman.
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then
work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my
whole hand in I work from side to side until I get both hands in, and then
slowly, but surely, stretch it until it’s about six feet”
“And just what the hell do you do with a six foot arsehole?” he asked.
“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge,” said the woman.
My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.
The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
I heard the new auto body shop that opened comes
highly wreck-a-mended.
There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them
was a-salted.
.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
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