An elderly man moved into a nursing home. After he'd been there a few days, a nurse noticed him leaning to the right, and strapped his left arm to the chair. A few days later, she noticed him leaning to the left, and strapped his right arm to the chair. Not long after that, she noticed him leaning forward in his chair, so she strapped him to the back of the chair. His daughter came to visit him. "How do you like this place?" she asked him. "It's not bad," he replied, "except they won't let me fart."
The electrician got his supplies at the outlet store.
If you ever feel like running naked through a public place, just spray yourself with Windex. It prevents streaking.
Break a bone today and you'll hurt to marrow.
I got in touch with my inner-self today. That's the last time I buy 1-ply toilet paper at the dollar store.
Dental care in Panama is called a route canal.
A man’s home is in his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
My wife really, likes to make pottery, but to me it is just kiln time.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
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