A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep.
There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, "Sister, you sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag."
Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said "Father, I'm cold." He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her.
Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "Father, I'm still very cold.."
He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said, "Father, I'm sooooo cold."
This time, he remained there and said, "Sister, I have an idea. We're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let's pretend we're married."
The nun said, "That's fine by me."
To which the priest yelled out, "Great. Get up and get your own stupid blanket!"
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
-----Bob Hope
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
-----Rita Rudner
Banning the bra was a big flop
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
When two egotists meet it’s an I for an I.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Without geometry life is pointless.
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