...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732

Friday, April 7, 2017

Found For Friday


I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.

Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.  

'My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.''  

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought,
''He's trying to pull a fast one''.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed,
I never knew they worked.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

Another one was:  Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.  'It's not unusual' he replied.

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