Found For Friday

A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, "Sister, you sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag." Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said "Father, I'm cold." He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her. Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "Father, I'm still very cold.." He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said, "Father, I'm sooooo cold." This time, he remained there and said, "Sister, I have an idea. We're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let's pretend we're married." The nun said, "That's fine by me." To which the priest yelled out, "Great. Get up and get your own stupid blanket!"

Did you know there is an entire order of sleepwalking nuns?

They're known as Roamin' Catholics.

I once lost 50 pounds in two days.

I'm never gambling in Britain again.

The latest drive-by shooting in Indiana was caused by a BB gun.

The case wound up in a pellet court.

The owners tried to grow their sleazy dive into a first class saloon

but alas they had to tear it down.

That's right: instead of raising the bar they razed the bar.

Most people don't know this but Spock (from Star Trek) had three ears.

The right ear, the left ear, and the final front ear.

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam.

As I age, deafness is getting to be more of a problem for me.

I never thought I'd hear myself say that.

 

After a few beers on the plane, I am flying high into the wild brew yonder.

A successful Hong Kong businessman left a huge estate when he died. It was the great will of China.

Some people go deep sea fishing for sailfish reasons.