A minister told his congregation,
"Next week I plan to preach about the sin of
lying. To help you understand my sermon,
I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared
to deliver his sermon, the minister
asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many
had read Mark 17.
Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said,
"Mark has only sixteen chapters.
I will now proceed with
my sermon on the sin of lying."
Today at the bank, a woman asked me to help check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Scientists studying the effects of cannabis on
seabirds have been diligent.
They've left no tern unstoned.
I have a new recipe for Sponge Cake.
Start by borrowing all the ingredients.
I can't believe they cancelled Vivaldi after only four seasons.
To whoever stole my inhaler: I'm not going to press charges.
You can breathe easier now.
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of Giants.
Feefiphobia.
Research shows that six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.
If Satan ever lost his hair, there would be Hell toupee.
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