Found For Friday

It was the first day of school and the teacher was
asking the little boy about his family.

"And what does your Daddy do?"

"He's a magician."

"That must be exciting, what tricks can he do?"

"He can saw people in half."

"That is clever, and tell me do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes, one half brother, and two half sisters."

The FDA approved an antihistamine that gave me horrible side effects.

I’m gonna Sue-da-Feds!

I was once a man trapped in a woman's body.

Then, my mom gave birth.

Cultural Differences Are Real.

In America we compliment a woman by telling her
she looks like a million dollars.

In England, a woman will NOT be happy if you tell her
she looks like a million pounds.

I'm working on a joke about Ikea.

I just have to finish putting it together.

I went to an exhibit of student art.

There was a sign that said "Art Objects."

I can't say that I blame him.

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.