First Cousin Twice Removed

Aiden and his folks are here for Thanksgiving.  Staying with my Aunt Jo who does not like having her picture on FB - nor did his mother.  However his dad was asleep on the sofa and did not know I was taking his picture.  Anyway here he is.  Cutie pie.  He did not know me so he was a little stand-offish at first but he warmed up.  When I would take his picture it was Mr. Sobersides but as soon as I took it there was this glorious smile.  I tried to get it and you might be able to see a little of it.  Anyway he is one handsome lad and he did let me pick him up before I left.  He is heavy.  Probably going to be a football player like his uncle Michael.

Thought for Today

So many people believe in a god of vengeance and rage and not of peace and Love.  "God is Love." is all the religious guidance anyone should need.  If everything is viewed through the lens of Love - all will be well.     jcs

Saturday Sojourn

 I went to Polk City for their Eastern Star Beef and Noodle dinner and sale today.  The first bite of the noodles was worth the drive down  .  Comfort food.  And I had a piece of mince meat pie.  YUMMY!

After I left the dinner I drove to Des Moines. To get there I had to cross the mile long bridge  (The picture above is stolen from somewhere and the link will take you to a video of someone riding their bike across the bridge.)  The Bridge has a posted speed limit of 35 MPH and I was (for a change) following the speed limit.  You can see the no passing yellow line.  I WAS PASSED.  A car felt that he could not stay behind me for the two minutes it would take to cross the bridge and so he passed me

I had my camera with me and kept him in sight the rest of the way into Des Moines.  I caught up to him at a stop light and the next picture is the result.  You can see he is from out of state so perhaps they don't follow the same traffic rules in Nevada as we do in Iowa.  

I went on into Des Moines and believe me he was not the only asshat driving today.  I went to Letter Perfect and got my 2012 pocket calendar and then drove down to The Varsity Theater near Drake and went to see The Way.  An excellent film and I always enjoy the Varsity experience.  The price of the ticket is reasonable ($5 matinee) and I had a pop corn (small) and diet pepsi for $3.80.  Not only that but the lady behind the counter carried them to my seat for me as I have difficulty with steps.  The theater itself is large and reminds me of theaters of a by-gone era.  Just pleasant all the way round.  Not at all line going to Cinemax.

Jon stopped by earlier this week and I snapped a couple of shots of him which I had not shared.  I asked him about the facial hair and go the response - "It is Movember"   I kind of like it.

I may go down to Waveland Park for their Breakfast tomorrow. It has been a long time.  I am also planning on seeing Amy and Lee and their son at my Aunt Jo's  They are here for Thanksgiving. After a week of busy, busy, busy I have nothing on my calendar next week except Thanksgiving and that will be a mob scene.  I hear there are 26 people coming to dinner.

Fellowship of the Lodge

 Last night was the Stated Meeting and Election of Officers for Specialis Procer Lodge #678.  Following the meeting (which was over in one hour) 7 of us  (as is our custom) went out to supper.

We were going to a place in the East Village but the Village was having a special celebration and was full of people.  So we went to the restaurant in the Embassy Suites.  It was not busy and we were able to have a great meal and (best of all) Masonic Conversation.

When we started this Lodge the original concept was just a group who would go out to dinner and discuss things Masonic.  To often there is no discussion.  No give and take on Masonic subjets.  The idea behind this Lodge is that Education will not be just listening to papers or short things put out by the Grand Lodge designed to fit in between the important (?) business of paying bills and reading minutes.  And doing so in the Festive Board situation where we sit around the table and can have a free flow of ideas was one of the fundamental reasons we started this Lodge.

Last evening was one of the best examples of what this Lodge is all about that I can remember.  Good food, good brothers (all could not come) and best of all good conversation about things Masonic.  Very satisfying.  Thanks for stopping by.  Hugs,  j

Two from Sam

Sam sent me these.  Enjoy!
 

 
 Indian Wanting Coffee:
 An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter:
 
 
 
 "Want coffee."

 The waiter says, "Sure Chief. Coming right up."

 He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.....                                  The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.

 The next morning the Indian returns.
 He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling
 Another male buffalo with the other.
 He walks up to the counter and says to
 The waiter:
 
 
 
 "Want coffee."

 The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! 
 We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

 The Indian smiles and proudly says,
 
 
 "Training for position in United States Congress.
 Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up.
 Disappear for rest of day."

Subject:  A cowboy named Bud

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"


Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"


The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.


The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
minutes, receives a response.


Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

  "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.


Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

  "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows,
for that matter.  This is a herd of sheep. .

Now give me back my dog.

Found For Friday

 I was in Costco the other day, pushing a cart around, when I collided with a young guy also pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.."

The young guy says, "That's OK. And what a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

So, I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

I said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."

Most old guys are helpful like that.

 A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food.

She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you
cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy
cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying
the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back
to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier
said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that
you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the
management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little
old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.

The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake or a spider in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that
would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled
it out. She said to the little old lady, "Oooooh! That smells like
poop."

The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."

So........... Don't mess with old people!!!

 After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.... I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot.

She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....
What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His eye is still swollen.... but it will get better....

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night...

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,


(you are going to love this..)


" What's for dinner, Zorro?"

I did not know this...
When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.


Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends.

 paraprosdokian

 1.   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat  you with experience.

  2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But  it's still on my list.

  3.  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  4.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

  5.  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

   6.  War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

  7.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  8.  Evening news is where they  begin with  'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

  9.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is   research.

  10.  A bus station is where a  bus stops. A  train station is where a train stops.  On my  desk, I have a  work station.

  11.  I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

  12.  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part  that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

  13.  I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming  you.

  14.  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  15.   Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a  successful man is usually another woman.

  16.  A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

  17.  I asked God for a bike, but  I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

  18.  You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

  19.  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live  with.

  20.  There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

  21.  I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

  22.  You're never too old to learn something stupid.

  23.  To be sure of hitting the  target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

  24.  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

  25.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a  car.

  27. A  diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

  28.  Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

  29.  I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

  30.  When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Thanks for stopping by. Hugs.