Found For Friday,

 Because it's Friday...










"Bless me

 Father, for I have sinned.


 I have been with a loose 

girl." 

The priest asks, "Is that you,

 little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you 

were with?" 

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't

want to ruin her reputation." 

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find 

out her name sooner or later 

so you may as well tell me now. 

Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say." 

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" 

"I'll never tell." 

"Was it Nina Capelli?" 

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. 

"You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. 

But you've sinned and have to atone. 

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. 

Now you go and behave yourself." 

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over 

and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads..."

A five dollar bill walked into a bar, but was thrown out because it was a singles only bar.

 Grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What a coincidence. We have a drink named after you. " the grasshopper says, " You have a drink named 'Milton'?"

 A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes in here.” The rope walks outside, ties a knot in the middle of his body, brushes out the strands at the bottom and heads back into the bar. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the rope I just threw out of here?” The rope replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”

Those who like to do the ironing find their pleasure in creases.

 A brain goes into a bar and the bartender says, "I can't serve you, you're out of your head!"

Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

 Giraffe walks into a bar. Looks around and says... "Highballs are on me."

d

 A dyslectic walked into a bra.

Two guys walked into a bar - which is really stupid, because if the first one walked into it, you'd think the second one would have seen it.

Three fonts walked into a bar looking to pick up women, but they couldn't find anyone who was their type.

A termite walked into a bar and asked, "Where is the bar tender?"