A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive 30-year-old single-malt Scotch and downs them one after the other.
The barkeep says, "You look like you're in a hurry." "You would be too if you had what I have," said the guy. "What have you got?" "Fifty cents."
The most important thing to know about becoming a urologist is that you have to be able to go with the flow.
A longitude walks into a bar and starts bragging about all of the women around the world that he has gone out with. The Bartender says to him... "don't give me that International Date Line."
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
An Apple computer walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be, Mac"
Helium walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here." Helium didn't react.
When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A will is a dead giveaway.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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