A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley, "maybe we will see what we can do."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
Q: What do you call two spiders that just got married?
A: Newlywebbed
Q: Riddle: the maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?
A: a coffin.
Q: What is a monster's favorite food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies
Q: What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?
A: A pumpkin patch!!!
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich..
Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They all come out at night.
Q: Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
A: Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
Q: What type of dog does every vampire have? A: Bloodhound! Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.
Q: How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?
A: So long sucker!
A: The blood bank!!!
Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
A: Because he likes to draw blood!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.
Q: What is a Skeleton's favorite song.
A: Bad to the Bone
