Found For Friday

The Will

Marc Fitzgerald is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.

His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder 

be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he 

begins to speak:

My son, "Andy, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."

My daughter "Kerry", you take the apartments over in the 

east end."

My son, "Matt, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."

"Susan, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of 

the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive 

holdings, and as Marc slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Fitzgerald  your 

husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".

Susan replies, "Property ? .... the asshole had a paper route!"

There are so many statistics in baseball that the players are now running around data bases.

If you accidentally leave your fly down on a promising date, does that count as a Freudian zip?

The pharmacist and patient had a pill owe fight.

I would grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds

You can couch me if you can but you have to chaise me first.

My dentist would simply not stop working on my teeth. He was an abscessive compulsive. 

(Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a quarter.  So far, no change.)

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

Ht. JMK