"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said the man.
Six months later the doctor met the man on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
I hate elevators! They just drive me up the wall!
Buzz Lightyear was following a Japanese luxury car on the highway. When he pulled around to pass, he shouted, "To Infiniti and beyond."
I tried asking my dentist out but she brushed me off. Don't worry it was her floss.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Don't worry about old age - - it doesn't last! Don't believe what you hear about fleas and ticks -- it's all lice.
Velcro - what a rip off!
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The
police have nothing to go on.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Broken pencils are pointless.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
No comments:
Post a Comment