Found For Friday

 My Travel Plans For 2016*

"I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots.

Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

"I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

"I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family, and work.

"I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

"I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

"I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

"Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

"One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get!

"I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country that was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

I have a friend who would love this, but she's not home right now. She is in Scrutable.

I think I live in Fallible. People here seem to think they're the only ones with the real truth.

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean of orange soda last night.

It was just a Fanta sea.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

I just wrote a new song about a tortilla.

Well, it's really more of a wrap.

Pyrotechnicians should know how fireworks.

What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction.

When it comes to nourishment, a boa's best friend is his smother.

Someone tried to sell me a coffin today.

I told him that's the last thing I need.

I asked a French man if he played video games.

He said "wii"

The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.

I have kleptomania...

but when it gets bad I take something for it. 

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's OK, though - he woke up.