Friday, April 29, 2016

Found For Friday

Frank and Suzy were making passionate love in Frank's van when suddenly Suzy, who was a bit on the kinky side, and had just read "50 shades of grey", yells out "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!"
Frank, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Suzy until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later Suzy notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Suzy a little too embarrassed that she had even had sex with Frank, let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits, "Yes I did."
Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims: "I thought so because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."



“Academia would be a meeting of the minds 
if you didn’t mind all the meetings.”



When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.


The use of drones to deliver magazines will certainly raise some issues.



What is a thesaurus' favorite dessert? Synonym buns.



To whoever stole my Microsoft Office, you're going to pay. 
You have my Word…


The board game enthusiasts were ecstatic, you could say they were in pair of dice.

 Optometrists   live long because they dilate.




My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.





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