Found for Friday

John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling John out. The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK. The doctor said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."

" The cost of a galvanized hull is enough to zinc a ship.

The boatyard had a sale.

I just saw them advertising the ketch of the day.

The Balloon family name died off when it ran out of heir.

Ban pre-shredded cheese!

Make America Grate Again.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered now.

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.

The groundskeeper at a large cemetery was important because he had 5000 people under him.

I have a friend named Fin.

It's very hard for him to end emails without sounding pretentious.

I hired a handyman to do odd jobs around the house. He was useless. I gave him a list and he skipped items two, four, six, eight..

John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind

When it started to rain, Noah said "Now I herd everything