A young man said to his girlfriend's father, "I realize this is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your daughter?"
"Who says it's only a formality?" asked the father angrily.
"Her obstetrician," replied the young man.
Stationed on a remote Pacific island, a Marine writes to his wife that he needs something to while away the hours so he won't be preoccupied with all the beautiful native women. His wife sends him a harmonica and suggests he learn to play. A year later he finally returns home and says,
"Baby, I'm so love-starved! Let's go to bed right now!"
"Sure," she says. "But first, play me something on the harmonica."
I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.
A perfectly spherical pumpkin makes good pi.
I really enjoy the music by the Cars, you auto listen to it.
Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of a sudden the phone rings.
Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".
I don't get people who stumble into mirrors. They need to watch themselves.
Trophy shops often will give customers floss with their purchase to eliminate plaque problems.
All pro athletes are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.