Friday, November 18, 2016

Found For Friday

 A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep.
There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, "Sister, you sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag."

Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said "Father, I'm cold." He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her.
Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "Father, I'm still very cold.."
He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said, "Father, I'm sooooo cold."

This time, he remained there and said, "Sister, I have an idea. We're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let's pretend we're married."

The nun said, "That's fine by me."

To which the priest yelled out, "Great. Get up and get your own stupid blanket!"

A bee's dream is to live in pollenisia.

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.
-----Steven Wright

I will cut the grass only when I get mowtivated.

John Deere just released its most powerful tractor yet. It is the torque of the town.

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.
-----Harry Hill

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

Butchers link sausage to make ends meat.

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