Friday, July 14, 2017

Found For Friday


WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA?

A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to

the woman behind the counter and said,

'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '

' What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'

' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.'

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied:

'There are the Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.

Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple.'

The Catholic type supports the masses;

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright;

The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.

Oh and

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used

to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs.

{B} Barely there.

{C} Can't Complain.

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I've fallen

and I can't get up!

Send this to all that will appreciate it!

oh They forgot the German bra.

Holtzemfromfloppen!!


A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.


What do you call batman disguised as a pastry chef?

The crepe'd crusader!



I've just read a book about a bean growing up in the south.

It's called The Adventures of Tom Soya.



Blacksmiths don't make much money but forge ahead anyways.


Starbucks has finally done it. They've opened a coffee shop on the moon.

The coffee is good, but there's no atmosphere.



William Tell and his family used to be league bowlers
- but now that the records have been lost,
it is difficult to determine for whom the Tells bowled.


I went shopping for cherries and microphones.

Bought a bing, bought a boom.



There's no official training for garbage collectors.

They just pick it up as they go along.



I just swapped my 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe how good the currant exchange rate is.



How did the scientist clone a deer?

He used a doe it yourself kit



The other day I realized that life is meaningless, but I feel an odd sense of belonging because of it.

I think I've finally found my Nietzsche.



You matter.

Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light.

Then you energy




For

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