Friday, November 17, 2017

Found for Friday

From of my friends.
 I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back,  where the Pharmacists’ high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter.

The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me.

I said,   "Yes!  Could you please taste this for me?"

Seeing a senior citizen,  the Pharmacist went along. He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it around.

Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing. When he finally was finished,  I looked him right in the eye and asked,

“Now, does that taste sweet to you?"

The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!"

I said, "Oh, thank God!  That's a real relief!   My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!"

I can never go back to that CVS, but I really don't care, because they aren't very friendly there anymore!

I hate when people ask me where I see myself in three years.

I don't have 2020 vision



The army fired its artist.

He kept drawing enemy fire.



While working in the yard I was attacked by a rabbit.

I was having a bad hare day.



Most people have three comforters on their bed.

That's just a blanket statement.



What do you call someone who does not believe in Santa Claus?

Eggnog-stic



 

What is Starbucks favorite city?

Ft. LatteDale



I had dinner last night at a cannibal-themed restaurant.

I thought it would cost me an arm and a leg, but it was only $20 a head.




Breaking news. A skydiver was blown off track and crash landed on a  house. He hit the roof so hard he loosened several tiles. The news said he was okay for the most part, but he came down with a bad case of shingles.


A bartender was summoned to court with a subpoena colada.


Novice pirates make terrible singers 
because they can't hit the high seas.



Writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.






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