Found for Friday

 Mercy Hospital in Chicago is run by a group of nuns who came from Australia. Through the years the years they have gone out of their way to maintain ties with their native land -- putting up a large map of the country in the recpetion area, and serving Australian tea from tins decorated with koala bears.

One night a patient calls a nun into his room and tells her how much he likes the hospital and the care. But he has one small complaint: he found some leaves in his tea.

"Oh," the nun says, "the koala tea of Mercy is not strained."

The nuclear physicist took a vacation for a fission trip.

A guy drove his expensive car into a tree

and found out how the Mercedes bends.

A man running in front of a car, gets tired,

And a man running behind a car, gets exhausted.

In order to become a teacher,

you have to chalk up the skills first.

If you throw jello at someone,

you could be arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.

When using glue it paste to be careful.

I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils.

I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'

The novice executioner couldn't get the hang of it.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.

It was quite an oar deal.

Don't go to psychotic florists.

They make flower derangements.

As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto
for San Jose de los Platanos and prayed for the healthy delivery
of his first child,

he heard a disembodied voice say,

"Your daughter will be born 17 inches long."

Reynoldo replied, "Do you know the weight, too, San Jose?"